Bereavement Support Group

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squeaker1231 07/25/2015

I am experiencing a lot of emotions. My cat , a real hunter had brought s dead creature On porch. Thought it was shrew. Husband when throwing it away said it is a bat and proceeded to throw it away. Any way went online, called several vets. The results were pretty similar. Put bat in bag and freeze. Take to health department Mon. They would check it for rabies. Husband immediately said I can't get it. No big deal. I immediately felt very discredited. Further information said that if a cat was exposured and licked a persom with any opened areas they could get rabies. People with HIV are more at risk. The likely chance of this happening is very rare. Cat can start showing symptoms in about 10 days. I thought I should at least call my primary doctor. My husband said I was over reactive. Yes I can be over reactive. But when is it right to check something out versus just letting it ride. I am slightly scared not knowing if I have been exposed, hurt that husband is not even concerned enough to want me to go to call doctor. Cat was not updated on shots. I am just a basket of many different emotions: hurt, scared, feeling discredited, disappointed that husband is not showing at least a little concern, verifying my information to know if I am over reactive and he just needs to calm me down. I needed his reaction to be based on facts not just assumptions. There also is a part of me that hopes
I do get sick just to show him what ignoring me or anyone could come to haunt him!. No I am not self destructive or want to die. I just would like John to take me seriously some time and not always say it is no big deal I guess At this time I need to know if anyone does have any more information about incident. I need reassurance I am not over reactive, and possible some suggestions on mejst I should do with out stirring up drama in home thank ypi

Veronica77 07/26/2015

I would just go to your doctor anyway and talk to him about all your concerns. He could probably calm you down and give you the best advice. ((Hug))

mysooners 07/31/2015

Have you gone to see your doctor? I would like to know what was said. I agree with Veronica77. May God take care of you.

TroJanThunder 07/31/2015

Is your cat OK?

So sorry your Hubs is not being supportive.

And yes it is highly unlikely anyone will get rabies from your cat. But it might be better for to become an indoor kitty so you wont have to ever worry about this again.

jody0385 07/31/2015

In all honesty I bet you are worrying for nothing, however that doesn't change the fact that you are seriously worried. Well I should say WERE after seeing the date of this post.. You know I'm just going to say this.. It sounds like you need to have a sit down with your husband and have a serious but calm conversation about your needs and ways to support you in different cases. In the future if he isn't supporting you the way you need to be supported you need to speak up. Men don't always handle things the way we need. They are totally different from women. You just have to tell him, this isn'thelping me please this is what I need. But be calm and nonconfrontational about it. I've had to do this and my bf totally changed how he treated me for that particular situation.

If your husband can't be there for you the way you explain to him that you need him to be, well then that would be something for you to seriously think about going forward.

I'm sorry you were so worried, and hope you've gotten answers since your post.. How is your kitty cat?? I bet he/she is doing just fine.. As I bet you are as well.. And in the future if you need to freeze a bat for your own (sorry at a loss for words) calming purposes then you go get that bat and freeze it. You are grown and you need to put yourself and putting your mind at ease first and foremost.

openfacedsandwich 08/01/2015

Hi -- I'm new here. It seems to me that your care of yourself and your wellbeing have become a power issue between you and your husband. It's your perfect right to seek medical attention AND medical reassurance -- that's a big reason why you have a doctor.A good doctor will help you keep a sense of perspective.
Not sure from your post if you are in fact HIV positive or you've just brought it up as an example, but if so the need would be obvious to be extra vigilant.
It's a brave admission to say you do get sick to prove a point to your husband -- I'd suggest that in itself is a problem to address, both for your own health and the marriage.
Sad that your health isn't taken seriously and you aren't respected. You deserve that.

Getingstronger 08/06/2015

It is my opinion that you should get the cat to the vet and proceed to make him an indoor cat; it is not safe out in wildlife for our domesticated animals. You should also see your own doctor. Then, when your mind is clear about those issues, I think you need to have a good talk with your hubby. Part of being in a good marriage is to have someone to share our feelings and emotions with. We want support and to be heard. Even if your husband felt you were worrying for nothing, I feel he should have been a better listener and supported you going to the doctor and in worrying about your cat.

You and hubby may need therapy if you get no satisfaction from just talking with him.

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