You go right ahead and cry your heart out. There is no right or wrong in the way someone grieves. If your pain is still the same depth within the next year, I would seek out grief counseling. Until then, it is normal to cry, scream, and vent your feelings. This is a safe place to "let it out" as everyone can relate.
I lost my brother almost 39 years ago (his anniversary is coming up) and I can't even begin to tell you how my world fell apart in that instant. It took me 15 years to pick up the pieces of my life. I still miss him like crazy, but the pain isn't as intense as the first few years.
Don't let anyone dictate how you should grieve or how long....it's personal ((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

I meant my brother has been gone almost 38 years not 39......still a very long time :(

I have lost 3 brothers, 2 sisters, my Father and now my Husband. I grieved differently with each loss. Please don't allow others to tell you what you should feel and how you should be acting. Follow your process and grieve for as long as it takes you. God Bless You, and yours!
Mary

NO ONE has the right to tell you how to grieve or for how long. Any person who was to say to me that I was grieving too long for my daughter would probably end up on the floor and me in handcuffs.

Grief is different for every one, we are all so unique; it is also different for the person for whom we grieve: an elderly parent who was much beloved and cherished but who lived a full life still leaves us without that parent. The death of a husband or wife in a stable, good marriage with friendship, trust, mutual love and support is a serious loss. The death of siblings is far too sudden and jolting, especially if we watch them suffer with illness. The loss of a child has no end to grieving, it goes on until the parent dies.

The only true "judge" of grief is yourself, combined with a good grief counselor who can help you, who will pick you up when you fall down (and you will fall down), who will point out your "success" when you feel as if you have had no success. This is almost a sacred relationship. I was so blessed to find my therapist, so blessed.

People are afraid of death, my friend. And they are also afraid of serious emotion, which includes real anger, real depression or despair, real emotional struggle, real breakdown, real pain. That's why they want us to stop, because it frightens them.

You have every right to every feeling you are feeling for so long as you can live with it yourself and until you have moved to a place where those feelings begin to change. And you will. Until then, anyone who tells you to "get over it" should be kicked to the curb.