Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I am new to this group. I recently lost my grandmother after a long illness. I thought I was prepared for her death but I am a total mess. I am having such a hard time just functioning. I did make it through the funeral and visitation this week.
I have only one other immediate family member surviving and we have had problems getting along throughout grandma's illness. I have tried multiple ways to have rational conversation with her and she just will not have a reasonable conversation with me. She has mental illness and has emotional outbursts at any given time (has for many years even before my grandmas illness). She is now refusing to let me into my grandmothers home (I don't have a key- she changed the locks many times). She is paranoid and makes irrational accusations.
I know something will have to be done with grandma's estate as she had no will. There isn't much but I want it handled properly. My aunt will not handle this through the proper channels if it is left up to her.
This has been the hardest week of my life, trying to deal with my own grief and now my aunt acting so terribly towards me. I just don't know where to go from here.
Perhaps your aunt has a legal right of possession over your grandmother's estate, and many grow secretive with private ownership information at such times (I suppose that this is caused by fear of property claims). And from what I've personally learned, it's best to steer clear of estate issues if you have no official documentation of legal rights.
It is the business of the court to privately notify legal heirs in the cause of any rights of ownership passed to the heirs of a deceased property holder. My condolences to you over the death of your beloved grandmother. She will be missed by you; honor her by showing wisdom and patience with your aunt. She would want this of you.
I understand that things feel displaced for you now. Sorry for your pressure, and the grief and feuding with the aunt is a double blow for you to bear. Yet be inspired by your trust in God and fate. What's meant to be will be, according to the Lord's plan for you.
A generation has passed on, and I'm sure that she earned her rest, bless her. In a very real way you can respectfully care for the memory of your grandmother most peacefully by separating your thoughts of land or property. Deep in your heart she left you her voice, which is much to be grateful for, because you may hear in your heart that she regrets what is happening to pain you. And your aunt's sad behavior is just part of the obsession of her own grief; pray for her to find her strength, and I hope that your relationship with your aunt will soon improve.
So deciding to give her space is a perfect practical idea for you to think of, so that she may better tend to the important arrangements following the conditions of her mother's estate issues. This is a heavy course of affairs for her as well. I don't think that taking actions to move her to change her mind will help right now. And the hope is that there is still a possibility that she may do the right thing by you. You may even be allowed to enter your grandmother's home in peace if you stay patient. I hope for that.
Bless you with love today.