Bereavement Support Group
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Hi,
A few weeks ago, my Gran was taken into hospital with a severe urinary tract infection. She was 93 years old. While she was in hospital she turned 94. She lived 3 hours drive away from me. In the 2 weeks she was in hospital I didn't manage to get down to visit her. It was agreed she would come out of hospital and into a nursing home as there was no way grandad was going to be able to cope with her at home (he is 93 as well). She also had early stages of dementia, and over the last few weeks while in hospital her mind went even more, rather rapidly. While sorting out a nursing home place, she moved into a local hospital which only has a couple of wards and mainly for the elderly. It was easier for grandad and my parents etc to get to as it was only 10 minutes drive as opposed to 40 minutes drive. While she was in hospital grandad went down with a stomach bug and had to miss seeing her for a day or two, he went back to see her and she started throwing up, the next day my aunt was throwing up and was diagnosed with Norwarg (sp!) virus.
Wednesday 8th October I was in bed asleep at 0434 hours I woke up, looked at the clock to see the time. I had a weird feeling, it was really cold in our room, i was wrapped up in my duvet and still felt the chill. It then passed and the room warmed up. I went back to sleep until 0515 when i got up and went to work thinking nothing more of it.
While at work I had a voicemail message on my phone to ring my dad. It was to tell me that Gran had passed away at 0430 that morning, they had got the phone call at 0500 from the hospital and had just got back in from breaking the news to grandad.
I truly believe Gran came to say goodbye because i hadn't managed to get down to see her.
A few tears came at work,and I got sent home for the rest of the shift. But those have been the only tears. Just waiting for the rest to come. Got the funeral on Wednesday.
A few weeks ago, my Gran was taken into hospital with a severe urinary tract infection. She was 93 years old. While she was in hospital she turned 94. She lived 3 hours drive away from me. In the 2 weeks she was in hospital I didn't manage to get down to visit her. It was agreed she would come out of hospital and into a nursing home as there was no way grandad was going to be able to cope with her at home (he is 93 as well). She also had early stages of dementia, and over the last few weeks while in hospital her mind went even more, rather rapidly. While sorting out a nursing home place, she moved into a local hospital which only has a couple of wards and mainly for the elderly. It was easier for grandad and my parents etc to get to as it was only 10 minutes drive as opposed to 40 minutes drive. While she was in hospital grandad went down with a stomach bug and had to miss seeing her for a day or two, he went back to see her and she started throwing up, the next day my aunt was throwing up and was diagnosed with Norwarg (sp!) virus.
Wednesday 8th October I was in bed asleep at 0434 hours I woke up, looked at the clock to see the time. I had a weird feeling, it was really cold in our room, i was wrapped up in my duvet and still felt the chill. It then passed and the room warmed up. I went back to sleep until 0515 when i got up and went to work thinking nothing more of it.
While at work I had a voicemail message on my phone to ring my dad. It was to tell me that Gran had passed away at 0430 that morning, they had got the phone call at 0500 from the hospital and had just got back in from breaking the news to grandad.
I truly believe Gran came to say goodbye because i hadn't managed to get down to see her.
A few tears came at work,and I got sent home for the rest of the shift. But those have been the only tears. Just waiting for the rest to come. Got the funeral on Wednesday.
I'm sure this is something you'll treasure forever! It's too bad we can't 'lock it up' and keep it among our other treasures and keepsakes.
Many prayers coming your way. God bless you and your grandmother!
I would question though why in 2 whole weeks you were not able to make it to see your grandmother if she was so ill and fading I can only speak for myself but if I were in this situation I would have made that drive no matter what.
None the less I hope she continues to visit you and give you comfort.
Unfortunately my parents have a bad habit of keeping information from me and not telling me the truth.
I know going on their past history I should have doubted everything they said and gone down to see for myself. And believe me I am beating myself up everyday over that.
I have been hoping myself for some sort of sign from her, she was Catholic (but I am Athiest) and I think she believed in some sort of life after death. So far I haven't had anything, but I do know that she herself saw her father in law after he passed away many years ago. My Mum also had an experience with her own Nan after she died, and the experience was at least 12 years after her death, so I too hope to have some sort of experience as I would love to have some contact with my Nan.
I hope her funeral goes ok for you. I mean, obviously it will be very difficult but hopefully you will be able to find strength and comfort from your family and friends. As for you feeling guilt over not visiting her, it may sound harsh but what's done is done now and there is nothing you can do to change it. YOU know you loved her and she came to say goodbye which is a very special thing indeed, and I think that shows the bond between you was very strong.
Still the tears didn't come today, still haven't cried, just wish i could
Hope this helps.