Hello there,

I don't know about you but my experience of this has a lot to do with pent up emotions, difficulty tolerating the pain of grief and anger and as I am typically seen as a 'nice' not aggressive type of person I really struggle with asserting my anger and pain. I am certain this comes out in avoidance and binge eating instead and I find myself turning to very sugary foods like chocolate and watching mass episodes of something that makes me forget the world for a time. The thing is that at the end of it wherever I go, I land back at the same place.

I think it's so important to find outlets to release the pain, or whatever it is. When I'm off track with exercise, or feeling 'trapped' this avoidance and anger gets worse. For me exercise, social outlets, and 'me time' are really important to help me stay from binge eating every day.

Lately I've been really struggling with it and as I've sat down to analyse my behavioural patterns I realise that another month passed of mums death and being easter I am severely sensing her absence.

i've also had a lot of time to think having a long weekend, which has been difficult as it only brings reality home to the heart.

I know that we have shared experience and I don't know if what I say relates to your food habits but don't live in fear and guilt about it, instead use it to drive you into a place of gentleness, understanding and change.

xox

spirit

You do have choices. Obesity is a death style, not a life style. Do get help finding a dietition that will put you onto a healthy eating plan. You will get into the habit of liking and choosing food that increases your energy> Thus you have changed a bad habit for a good one. Excercise also increases you feeling of well being, and does not have to involve anything too difficult - a walk, a swim, nothing too fancy. ((HUGS))

I am a former eating disordered person and will add my shiny nickels worth.
You are very aware that you are avoiding the loss, sadness, anger, and other negative emotions that are a normal part of life.
Try looking into a therapist who specializes in eating disorders who will uncover the root issue and help you deal with it. Food is NOT the issue and getting a healthier eating habit will not happen without the therapy. Eating healthy will come in time and with dealing with your losses and other issues. A good eating therapist will help you change your eating habits as well.
Don't get discouraged in trying to find the right fit of therapist,,,,you may go through a few before finally finding the right one that is a good fit for you.
I wish you the best and also look into healthy eating boards or over eaters boards. You will need all the support you can get.

I meant a good eating disordered therapist..........not a good eating therapist.......(last sentence in the second paragraph)

Grapes...of the vino. Just kidding...alcohol is the WORST.

Exercise, production, facing those emotions directly and purging them through sweat, works a lot better for me than consumption, stuffing those emotions with food. I've cried and expelled much rage during workouts!

A good grief therapist - as you are grieving and not "disordered." If tight on funds to afford one, Catholic Charities has sliding fee or are free and they are highly educated, Masters degrees. Also, the more you can get yourself to move the better you will start to feel. Koolman's suggestion of purging the emotions through a good sweat workout has proven to be very true and beneficial for me too. Whether through housework and really scrubbing something, or lifting weights or brisk walks with the dog, a friend or by yourself are all good. Join a grief group - usually at churches. Try out different classes of some type (painting, knitting, meetups.com, check local library for free movies and classes, etc.) to find new things you enjoy, can socialize and make new friends. Distractions but different from the ones you are using now. Try making a pact with yourself that you will eat an apple first before eating anything else and then you can have whatever you want and see if that doesn't curb a lot of it and make you start to feel better too. Take a good multi vitamin and vitamin D every day. Try to get at least 10 minutes of sun each day (vitamine D is a mood lifter). Here is link to a good program http://youtu.be/JV_afunOqIY . And here is one for fun http://youtu.be/V4wRQOhM9Zs

There is a group for eating disorders on ds if you are interested. I recently joined and it kind of helps me. I am struggling with that too. You are not alone in this. Hugs

I am struggling with this big time since my brother died a month ago. He and I both struggled with our weight and would share our struggles. Now that he is gone it seems that all bets are off. It doesn't feel like I am avoiding pain, but rather keeping it at a level where I can tolerate it. I do have an appointment with a good therapist, but she couldn't see me until June. I think I need a group for this specifically. Maybe I will try the one here on line