I think that depends on where you're at emotionally. If you want to and you feel the strength, it would be wonderful to commemorate her somehow; plant a pot of her favorite flowers, visit one of her favorite places, or whatever comes to mind that would be meaningful. but, if you aren't and feel more the need to distract yourself, that's ok too...this is your grief. You get to work through it the best way that works for you.

When my husband died in March of 2001, I remember dreading his birthday that year. Well, it came and it was Sept. 11th. I think you know what happened that day.

I had planned on just having a nice quiet dinner with my thoughts of him, etc., but obviously that was impossible after the tragedy of the Twin Towers, etc.

No, I don't think it's better to ignore your Mom's birthday. Do whatever feels comfortable for you ~ whether it's a quiet dinner or watching her favorite movie, planting a tree in her honor. It's all up to you and anything is appropriate as long as it feels okay to you.

God bless you and you're in my prayers. Take care. Hugs, Lee

i lost my 12 yr old daughter hannah in febuary an the thought of her birthday is driving me nuts, so myself family an friends have set up a family fun day in our town to celerabe her birthday an to raise cash for ashtma uk in her houonr, she died of an ashtma attack, im hopin bein very busy on that day will help me cope a bit. Try plannin something to do that day so yr not sat home thinkin to much xx

Four years after my daughter died, I planted tulip bulbs on my daughter's birthday. In the spring, When the tulips came up in the spring, I took vases of them to a nursing home to give to patients without families.

You might try doing something along that same line to honor the life of your mother. Take flowers to a total stranger who could use some cheer.

Thank you everyone for yoru advice. I decided not to work and stayed home. I just decided I'd rather be at home with my Dad. Not that I really did anything...infact, I mostly slept to avoid doing anything or feeling anything. I did make a donation to dana farber in her name and bought a memorial bracelet online that you can design any way you want it.

I also came to a realization...I realized what the date was and then that it hasn't just been my mother's birthday I have been upset about.

A year ago this weekend I was in DC for a wedding. While I was gone something happened with my mother and she just wasn't doing well....not eating, walking, moving etc. She had started a new experimental chemo a few weeks prior...the other experimental chemo that had worked for about a year and a half had stopped working and her tumor was growing again so they changed it. It obviuosly did something to her system. I came home sunday night and she was already in bed. When I woke up Friday morning to get ready for work my father said she was going to the hospital so of course I went to. It was the last time my mother was ever in her own home. They took her off chemo completly and gave her 3-6 months to live..but still sent her for rehab for walking....which never really worked and she remained there for 8 months until she passed away. I regret every day not being home for that final weekend that she was still in the house with us...I feel terrible that I left her and my father.... I know I can't change anything but it still bothers me... I guess that combined with her birthdya and mother's day more then explains the state I am in.