Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Everybody is Gone!

MelT2020
MelT2020

I know this isn't true, but I feel like everyone is dead.  I've been going to grief support since I lost my mom in 2023. But I'm stopping to look at many of my losses.  Life has been moving so rapidly at work, love and the world I have barely time to reflect on my losses and grief:


Mom, 4/23*


Dearest friend and mentor FM, 1/26*


Victor Pupeck, 74, 12/2025


Alma's mom 12/2025


KJH dad (JH) 11/2025


Aunt IG 6/25


Cousin AF 2/25


Aunt FJ, 12/24*


uncle TC 4/26


Uncle JJ 10/24


CSB 7/24


Cousin DM


Uncle RB, 4/24*


Cousin TTB 2023


Aunt PB, 2/23*


RLB 7/22 (born a few days after me, same year)


Aunt VD 12/21*


My Husband (and friend since 2002), 8/2021*


Cousin DB 11/20 (born one month before me. Attended same high school)


BIL BDR


MIL AM


Aunt RLF 1/18


Aunt DL 2/18


Cousin J, age 15 (suicide)


Uncle Bd JJ, 4/13


Uncle DWB 6/08


GP B 6/05*


GM B 2/09*


Dearest Uncle WM 1/02*


Dad's mom 10/1985 (grief and broken heart over murder of my father)


My Dad, 9/1985 days B4 his 36th birthday (I'm his only offspring)


(Mother Frances, Pastor JLB, C Dunn, high school friend Kevin, cousin Reg B, GAunt MB, gpa T, godmother B, mother Cruz, Mother Berry, Father Berry, Member Kathy Little, GG Minor, GG JAlbert, GG AM, mother jones, Mother Lat, uncle Andre T, friend DeShawn, Member Carey L, Member JB, Member TB++, uncle JH(my first funeral), Member Mary B, GG MBD, Beth of MIBr 33, coworker Teya T, coworker Tom Hz, GG A Josie, GUn HJ, mentor MC, cousin Trina, Uncle DB of Kalamazoo, Katie C dad, mother CopLn, Mother O, Pastor O, KBnkH, GregM, coworker Rosie of MSU, friend Michael)


hasty_05
hasty_05
I have known 8 people who died in the last 18 months, one was my really beloved friend who made it to almost 100. I have lost some of the social groups that I used to find so wonderful and gave me a sense of belonging. I am married to a good man, the love of my life, but he is having body health issues now at the same time I am having my own chronic pain and health issues. All losses in life, just not death loss exactly. The death of ability to do what you want in life, maybe.

So I found myself starting to count my losses about a year ago. My mind goes to thinking how many people I have lost.

Anyway, I am working on staying out of the automatic counting my losses. When I start in my mind, I tell myself to find something I am grateful for that day. If I am totally honest, I noticed my mind was constantly going in the counting my losses and pity party stuff ALL THE TIME. It was a loop that seemed almost automatic and drove me crazy.

I believe we can talk out loud or in our minds to our deceased loved ones. I often talk to them and if I am quiet and listen, I get messages back. But sometimes my mind is spiraling and I don't listen. That is a goal I have starting yesterday, to listen more.

I believe our deceased loved ones are still with us in spirit. I believe our souls or spirts go to heaven upon death.

Hugs to you in counting your losses and moving forward in your grief. There is a type of grief that is long lasting and then gets stuck. I am blanking on the name of that one. I totally understand how you feel.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug Mel and Hasty

I am so very sorry for all of your losses and the pain that they carry

I think that I disassociate now quite a bit due to loss
So I guess my way of dealing with it is to escape it

My first husband was an alcoholic and was beaten to death
I felt very guilty as I got to the point I couldn't stand to be around him

He was actually a really good soul that had a monkey on his back

I cared for my folks their last years
I did my dad's palliation at home but all of it messed me up

I did the best I could but my brother and I ended up estranged as he was never around
I was so angry

My mom had Alzheimer's which was awful

I hear you Hasty re the loss of our wellbeing

I was septic in 2222/23 and was so sick
I had to learn to walk again and things have only come back to a degree

My husband committed suicide
It had nothing to do with our relationship
We'd been separated for quite some time
But all of these things can have a profound affect...No doubt

I'm older so there's been so many losses

I often think of the wonderful people we've lost on DS

I try and find things to be grateful for each day
I have a strong faith so it definetely helps with regards to death

Sending big hugs of comfort and support
art4life19
art4life19
MelT2020 I lost my mom in 2023 also. She passed in February and we had her funeral on the 3rd of March. I was extremely close to her. And now at the end of March my brother just passed. I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
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