There is a new support group that I am going to join.It is called emotions anonymouse and i would like to share.They have got 12 steps and one of them is this...if you have offended anyone in your life you have to ask for forgiveness.i am asking any one of you at DS and in real life that I have hurt to forgive me.If I have offended you I am sorry and lets call for a better understanding.Speech can be a wonderful thing but i can be like ex Mayor Ed Koch...I can speak my mind like him and Charles Barkley and this is what i learned in New York.The Big Apple doesnt like phonies and the bosses there want people to be direct.In order words...they dont take bs and I was loaded so full of it 20 years ago.i have realized this......Brad did not love me.He used me.I was a pawn.And it was my fault.I made Brad into a god and this shouldnt be.I stopped pursuing all of my hobbies.Everything l was Brad.It wasnt a healthy relationship.Brad was running my life.You cant let this happen.I was an abused woman.No it is time for me to live.And I am doing it everyday.I am like my mother.I try to laugh everyday.I like comedy.I like to watch Seinfeld and I love The Honeymooners.Laughing makes me feel so good.We must laugh.We must also love ourselves. I am reading a book by rabbi Harold Kushner...It is called When Bad Things Happen to Good People.And I have learned a lot.So I am growing as a person and today I went out to eat at IHOP.Life is an adventure.We must learn to live life and not look back.But seeing The Beatles at Shea Stadium in 1965 brings back memories and i have got good memories.I have had very good parents.My father was fantastic.I miss my father and I miss his knowledge.He was the best father going.I have a good childhood and i had 3 loves in my love.All of my loves ended tragically and this is the reason why i never married.I dont think taht I would be a good wife or mother.I realized this in 1965 when I dated T.C.T.C.will always be the main love of my life...but it didnt work out and I hated where I lived.I never wanted to live in a small town in with a white picket fence and 3 children.This isnt like me and TC knew it so we parted ways.I DONT REGRET THIS DECISON.I would have made him miserable.I have got many interests now and for this I am grateful.I am now enjoying my life thanks to the wonderful advice of DS and all of my friends here.Once again...I ask for forgiveness and if I have offened anyone please let me know.vader.