Personally I think if she found someone who loves her then you should celebrate that and not be judgemental about timeframe...God doesnt have timeframes...Who is to say how long is too long or long enough...time is relative...

Would 5 years, be to short, would 10 years be to short, of time to be planning a wedding. I think you should look at that, we can't measure time or love. Loosing your brother is a loss to all that are involve. And I can understand a little what you are feeling. Time is so short as you saw. So I would have to say, remember love and time have no limits because God is in control.

We shall NEVER pass judgement on those whos shoes we have NEVER walked in...

My husband passed away 15 months ago, and just recently I have met someone. I myself, am not ready for marriage, don't know if I will ever re-marry...but everyone is different and deals with grief in their own way.

This does NOT lessen the love she had for her husband/your brother...she may be ready for this, or maybe unconsciencously she is trying to bring him back through another man.

Who knows how she truly feels...ONLY she can tell those feelings.

I understand your need to protect your brother's memory...I don't know what their marriage was like, but please don't judge or hate her for the fact that she is re-marrying.

I used to think the same thing about people who married "soon" after, but that was before I was given those ugly pair of shoes to walk in myself.

Just be supportive and be her friend if that's what you choose to do...and since there are no kids, then your connection is done with her, unless you two are good friends. It is your call here.

Don't mean to sound harsh, for that is not my intention at all...just sharing what I know.

Hugs, Kat

I guess I am upset not with her happiness but the fact that it was fast. It reminds me of a person who is dumped and rebounds. I want her to be happy and loved and if this guy is the one that would be great.

Hello,
Yes, I agree with the question, "is it too early to marry one year after a spouse dies". Yes, it is. Your sister in law may be young, but she hasn't grieved your brother's loss enough yet. they say at least one year is sufficient, but in some cases more time needs to pass.
How long were they married?
It seems fishy to me.
Love,
Betty

Everyone deals with things in their own way. It's been 11 years and I'm just now dating. I was a hermit for ssoooo long. I'm happy for her that she didn't let grief steal so much of her life....

Not sure if age makes a difference but my Dad lost my Mom after 36 years of marriage. He nursed her for 3 years and kept her home to die because that's what she wanted. He loved her so much. He was so lonely after she died. About 9 months later he ran into an old childhood friend and they started seeing each other. A few months later they were married. (On my Mom's birthday!) That was 17 years ago. She even has the same name as my Mom. God blessed my Dad and took away his loneliness. My husband has told me that he doesn't want me to wait long to remarry. If it feels right to do so, I will, and know I have his blessing. I would agree with the others who say that only she knows if it is the right time for her.

Your brother is gone and your sister in law deserves happiness again. You mention that she got everything that was his.... do you have issues with that? It sounds like there are deeper issues that you haven't addressed and not just her remarriage. I say let the girl be happy if she can.

Time, As we have all learned life is short. To short to question what god has planned for us. He giveth and he taketh away, God gave you brother to her and decided to take him from her and now he is giving her a new start. Time is not an issue here if love is meant to be then it will find you no matter how you may try to avoid it.

I understand your concern and I am sorry to have heard about the death of your brother.How did he die...was it sudden or did he have a illness that he suffered with?
Being widowed leaves such a void and if a person is lucky enough to find love a second time,even if it seems so soon,I say be happy for her.
Just like falling in love in the first place,some people can have a whirlwind courtship and be married for decades and someone can take years to marry,and find out that it doesn't work out.
I don't think she means any disrespect to his memory by remarrying,but I can understand how it would make you feel.

I can imagine its painful for you to see her move on. My guess is she probably hasn't but is trying to find something to make her feel better. I would probably support her because she's probably hurting just as much as you.

Two things: from your profile it says your brother was only married for about 2 years before he died, so it's possible she did not need as long to grieve for him. That's not true in all cases - so please don't everybody jump on me for that - but it may be easier for her to move on to another relationship because theirs was so short. The other thing is culturally some people have a set time (so many months or a year or whatever), so sometimes we may think 'oh she should wait X number of months' but that may not be applicable. You had your brother in your life a lot longer than she did, it is likely that it will take you longer to grieve for him. She may be rushing into something she shouldn't, but she is the only one who will suffer if that happens. Let it go and be happy for her - she may be one of the lucky few of us widows who finds new love and renewed joy in her life.

I KNOW THAT A YEAR SEEMS SOON. I RECENTLY LOST MY HUSBAND AND THAT IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND. I AM NOT SAYING IN YEARS TO COME, AND I MEAN YEARS I WOULDN'T MEET ANYONE. BUT I AM OLD SCHOOL I ONLY MARRIED ONCE AND THAT WAS TO MY DEAR HUSBAND AND THAT WAS TILL DEATH DO US PART. I WILL NEVER GET REMARRIED I ONLY MARRIED ONCE AND THAT WAS FOR LIFE.DO YOU THINK IT IS BECAUSE YOU LOVED YOUR BROTHER SO MUCH YOU ARE STILL TRYING TO PROTECT HIM?

I lost my boyfriend and I know in my heart not only because he always told me this but because
he would want me to love again and have a companion in my life.
The last thing he ever wanted was for me to be alone for the rest of my life.
So if she has found love and companionship again then I think thats wonderful,life is way to short to live lonely and greiving forever.
Hugs!

I dont think she can win in this situation. some people think that it is to fast and others are problably asking her to move on. i think when the person is ready they will know. there is no set time limit on these things. i myself couldnt even think about dating yet but if i was i know his family would be upset with me. she is problably still dealing with it and maybe he is the support that she needed to get her through it.take care