Hi duane- I not sure that I completely understand your needs here, but I do understand what its like to deal with grief. Grief certainly does interfere with peace and happiness. Most likely you are focusing in too much on your thoughts-we cant get away from them-and weve got to live with ourselves and listen to our thoughts. Indeed, it is a fact that man/woman may flee from others thoughts; however with our own thoughts we become a recluse in the deep dark corners of the back of our mind. You were born with a complete and happy self. However, over the many years of troubled times, maybe you never learned the proper way to develop or maintain a healthy soul with peaceful emotions. The only way to get better is to put your mind in a state of training. Learn to live for who you are day by day; dont give yourself a penalty for the wrong that youve done or the failed times. Find a good point system in spite of your faults or bad choices, and give you credit for attempting to do good things, even though the situation may turn from good to worse, give yourself a good point for the effort. Keep in mind that its natural to have a conflicting personality at times, but use this factor as a way to build yourself up and not break down the quality of self or natural character. Recall that every morning brings a fresh beginning and an opportunity to start all over. Everyday look for new sources of opportunities to build-up the spirit of confidence in your abilities. And as the evenings fall, count your blessings for the day. The business of life is to live with joy and not grief or sorrow. True, harder times do come, but when you have developed a better idea of who you honestly are, you can literally overcome failure and disappointing thoughts by trusting in your greatest achievements and not sorrowful disappointments. I hope that this helps you to think better of yourself. Best to you!

Dear Duane

We each have our own way of dealing with grief. There is no real rule book.
I lost both my parents, my Mum, 14 years ago and my Dad 5 years ago. I learned that you need to take each day as it comes. Some days are easy and some days are not.
Sometimes, something totally seemingly unrelated, can trigger us of and we feel like things just won't get better, but they do. What helped me a lot was reading books on dealing with grief. Also, doing meditation, I find helps me too. When our loved ones pass, they live on forever in our hearts. Give yourself time to deal with the m/c as well. Life sometimes is a very difficult journey, and things also get a bit more difficult at this time of the year, as the holidays approach, and we miss our loved ones all the more.
Just remember somewhere out there in the world, there are others that can relate to you and your feelings.
Take care

We are all here because we understand the path you are walking, and we are all willing to stand beside you when the going gets tough - like now. m/c are also bereavements so you must also allow yourself time to work through them. I recommend that you obtain books written by Dr Elizabeth Kubler Ross. She makes sense of so many things we are experiencing - I always feel a deep sense of peace once I have read her accounts. Our loved ones DO live on, and are very much aware of us, and care for us. I have had many experiences that have convinced me that this is so. There is no further proof needed for me, I am grateful to be able to know that - although I miss my people, I do not feel the hopelessness that people who do not know, experience. I want you also, to get to a place of "knowing". xxxxxxxxxx