Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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joybells 12/02/2008

I stopped into my mom's this morning after an appointment.She had bought some new furniture which is very nice and then I realised the chair I was sitting in wasn't my dad's.She told me she had gotten rid of dad's chair.I know it's a small thing and she had to do it for herself but it was a kind of comfort when I went into their house and seeing dad's chair in his spot and now that is gone too just like my dad.It is just sad to me.

deleted_user 12/02/2008

I'm sorry... I know it must hurt. I can understand how your mom feels too. When sit down to watch TV I can not keep my focus on it because I keep staring at his chair and missing our evenings together. Some days I would like to chuck it all so I didn't have to be reminded every waking hour. What's a comfort to some is a constant reminder to others!

joybells 12/02/2008

I understand why she did it.I really do.It's just kind of sad.It's been 2 years and it does get better.It's still these little things that get you.

deleted_user 12/03/2008

My momma got rid of my Daddy's chair BUT she gave it to me! I do understand how you feel, if me or one of my sisters had not gotten it, I would have been very upset!! I wish your momma would have offered it to you first. God Bless You! Lori

joybells 12/03/2008

Thanks.

Meboysmom 12/03/2008

Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to think about removing my husbands chair as it is hard to see it everyday but I hadn't thought about it being important to my kids. I will consider them.

StrawberryLetter23 12/04/2008

I feel you ....just before my brother passed away he had triple bypass surgery ...when he was sent home from hospital ..he was having a hard time sleeping in bed...when my sister in law told me this I purchased him a lazy boy so he could get some rest ....well the day he passed away ...he did it on that very chair I brought him.......to this day I cant sit or look at that chair..all it is to me is a reminder ...of where my brother died....my sister in-law wont get rid of it becasue of the same reason I guess....I haven't and wont tell her how it effects me...because of how she feels about it.....I just suffer in silence....so i know where your coming from ........they say it gets better ...but It hasn't for me...I hope it has for you ..god bless .

deleted_user 12/04/2008

I know how you feel. I still have mom's wig, the instructions from her port and some medical thingy that she would have had if she lived.

Part of my own sorrow is that a sib kept everything else of any value. I got a couple pair of PJ's to remember my mom.

joybells 12/04/2008

I completely understand why mom got rid of his chair.She would have given it to me I'm sure if I had room for it,but I don't.It was time for her to do that.

deleted_user 12/04/2008

I always offer it to my children first. maybe you should request if she decides to remove something to give you a choice of you keeping it. You need to hold on to memories too. Hugs!!!

joybells 12/04/2008

I have some of his things.Mom gave me his wallet with some things still inside and his wedding band.Mom and Dad were married 52 years when he passed away and they had a long,happy life together.She wanted to be sure we all got some things that belonged to him.She gave me most of the things that meant most to him.

deleted_user 12/05/2008

Oh, I know how you feel. My brother and family moved into my dad's house after he died in 2001. I had spent Dad's last days at home with him, where he was in his recliner all day. I was there after he died, but when my brother moved in and everything was different, I just can't make myself go over there again. In my mind I still see Dad, sitting in his chair having a cup of tea and watching TV or reading a magazine. When my mom died in 1985, I made a point of sitting in her chair when I went to visit Dad--it made me feel close to her.

joybells 12/05/2008

Thanks.

deleted_user 12/10/2008

I understand how you feel. My Dads chair is still in the same place as it always has been, and my Mom will not move it. I notice if I am there I seem to sit in his chair, its like I can feel him there, too. My brother also sits there. Mom never does, but she does sit at the head of the dinner table now.

deleted_user 12/11/2008

Wow. I know what you are talking about. It's not even 2 months since my wonderful husband passed, but I am in no mood or in any rush to get rid of any of his things.

His chair is still in the same place, and I now sit in it when I am in the family room. It's a lazy boy and I just love sitting in it and thinking about him.

Everything in our home is a constant reminder of Jim and the wonderful life we enjoyed. I gave his children and brother lots of things of his. However, there is nothing here that is not a reminder of Jim.

It will take me much more time. I understand. But the memories are good ones -- nothing bad. So I am in no rush to make any changes at all.

joybells 12/11/2008

I'm sorry for your loss.I am also happy that you had a happy and wonderful marriage.That is rare these days.

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