Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I am trying so hard to get thru my days being as positive as i possibly can. I come here and I talk about all the things that are making my heart ache and my mind tired. I try to keep as much of a sense of humor as I possibly can.
I have been so conflicted since my husband died. So much so I have talked very little about it here. Even though it is why I came here in the first place.
I loved my husband with all my heart. I took very good care of him through out his illnesses and then his death. I miss him in so many ways. And there are hours thru out the day when I just can't stop crying. But because he too was one of my abusers. It is making this so confusing for my emotions. I am very convienently just not thinking or talking about it. But I believe the abuse I suffered thru under his control. Is what has opened the flood gates and all the other abuse I really had no intentions of talking about is now right up there on top and allowing me to shove what I really need to cope with down under it all. What am I going to do when it comes to the surface. When it over rides what my heart and my head are allowing me to deal with now in the incest survivor group. What am i going to do when I can no longer deny those feelings that are just waiting to explode into my head.
Today was the day that his head stone was put in place on his grave. And all I could feel about it was that it was so final But it's not final. It is only beginning. And I wait in fear for the day my brain finally stops allowing me to use all my other abuse issues as a deversion and makes me look right into the eyes of what waiting under the surface.
I have been so conflicted since my husband died. So much so I have talked very little about it here. Even though it is why I came here in the first place.
I loved my husband with all my heart. I took very good care of him through out his illnesses and then his death. I miss him in so many ways. And there are hours thru out the day when I just can't stop crying. But because he too was one of my abusers. It is making this so confusing for my emotions. I am very convienently just not thinking or talking about it. But I believe the abuse I suffered thru under his control. Is what has opened the flood gates and all the other abuse I really had no intentions of talking about is now right up there on top and allowing me to shove what I really need to cope with down under it all. What am I going to do when it comes to the surface. When it over rides what my heart and my head are allowing me to deal with now in the incest survivor group. What am i going to do when I can no longer deny those feelings that are just waiting to explode into my head.
Today was the day that his head stone was put in place on his grave. And all I could feel about it was that it was so final But it's not final. It is only beginning. And I wait in fear for the day my brain finally stops allowing me to use all my other abuse issues as a deversion and makes me look right into the eyes of what waiting under the surface.
You really need to express all that has happened to you - look it in the face and realise that you did NOT deserve any of it. Then of course, you need to work through the grief you are feeling as well. Don't try to be mighty mouse and handle everything yourself. Accept help, then you will be able to claim healing too. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My ex husband was abusive but I did not stay with him. You stayed with your husband, cared for him while he was ill and even till his passing. You have such a beautiful heart to do this.
You have gone through so much and I do agree with barbara, you need to find a counselor or support group for your grief and also for your abuse.
I also know that no one knows exactly what you have been through except God. He was there when you were formed in your mother's womb, He was there in the past and currently and in the future.
Why the horrible things happened to you? Why did God stand by and let them happen to you?
I have no answer for this but I do know you are a special soul to Him and what you endured has made you a threat to the enemy.
The enemy wants you to hate God because of your life but the enemy is the one you should hate not God.
You are a threat to him because so many will hear your testimony and will be comforted because they will be going through what you are going through or worse.
You will give them hope and encouragement.
Hugs & God Bless,
Judy