Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,877 Members

13,418 Posts

1 Online

vader 07/21/2009

wednesday will be a bummer.It will be two months.The doctors have told me
that i am doing well and I realize now that Brad was so sick.The day before he died.I found blood in the kitchen.There was blood everywhere and i did realize that he was going into alcohol poisoning.There is no cure for alcohol poisoning.You have to go to the hospital and go into detox and brad did not want this.I am having a relapse.I woke up crying and i am crying now.Right now...my late brother was right...sometimes your friends can be a fair weathered ones and this is what I am encountering.She hasnt spoken to me since my brother died and i feel that she is the one with the serious problems because I havent done anything wrong.People today when someones dies well some of them tend to act funny.But some of them just dont know what to say or do for you.They are overwhelmed.Cant a I am so sorry just be enough? So why is she snubbing me? Someone told me that when a person cries...the people who are there with you are turned off.Well..it my tears turn you off...listen to me...someday you will be in the same situation and what will
you do? Will all of you deadheads meet at Starbucks? Or will you get a bottle of Jack Daniels and drown your sorrows? But how the adut way? You grieve and let is happen.There is a book that I have read many moons ago.It is called The Right to feel bad and I have got this right and noone knows what is going on inside of me except me if my tears over my brother and Brad upset...go to a lake and jump in and do me a favor..dont call me again for
it appears that you were not raised right when it comes to how a person
accepts death and how they react..my reaction is mine not yours.you grown up.Thanks.vader.

deleted_user 07/22/2009

Vader,

I lost my son in February of 2007. I was drinking and "Drowning My Sorrows" as you put it. Although you are feeling bad and feel that this is your way of dealing with the pain, you are repeating you are just digging yourself a hole. You are not helping your self get through the pain. Your are numbing the pain and will have to face it when you sober up. I was drinking damn near every day and I almost lost my job, I got divorced because tthere is someone else is involved that you may be hurting with your drinking, and your family is paying the price. Give it some thought!!

Take Care of Yourself Because Nobody Else Will!!

vader 07/22/2009

thanks you for your nice reply.And i am still in a lot of pain.Brads death of two months has made me realize that drinking isnt worth it.In order to get a good job in seattle...you have to go to these Happy Hours.I went once and believe me...WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! whY DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE BOSS? Today I am at home and trying to cope with all of the events of two months and trying to see if I could have helped Brad..but he was just too far gone with the poisoning and he was a good man.

deleted_user 07/23/2009

Vader, you have every right to cry and feel badly. You wouldnt be human if youdidnt. I too have keenly and painfully noticed that family and co-workers ignore me and avoid me if I express and verbalize any thoughts or feelingsabout my son who died 5/26/09. It almost seems that they just are so uncomfortable with something like this. But that is Ok. Thank goodness for this website, because it is here and only here that I have found any true understanding and support. I am with you Vader, Your friend , Virginia Chapman

deleted_user 07/23/2009

My boyfriend passed away on June 12th. I have been going thru all of those things, and his family didn't really know anything about me except my name, and that he was dating me. I have emailed his family a few times, offering money and help in any way I could to cover the cost of his burial. They have not even replied to me, and He had told me so much about them, that I feel like I almost know them. It feels like I have lost them too. My family doesn't feel like he was a good person, and has said that I should never have gotten involved with him. I know that he wasn't the best person in the world, and that he had his problems, but I just want them to understand that it doesn't matter now what he did, or didn't do, because he is gone and he can't fix any of that now. I just need them to see that he made me happy, and that he was good to me and he loved me, and I loved him very much. I need them to tell me that it is ok for me to be so sad, and that I could talk to them anytime I need to. But that is not what I am getting. and the only person who I could talk to about my real feelings is gone. You have the right to feel bad, and to cry, and to be angry. It is ok to cry, to be hearbroken, and to feel like you don't know who you are or why you are here. It is ok to not know what you are going to do in the next hour, and it is ok not to make plans to do anything, because you are just not sure if you will be able to keep them. It is ok to be sad when you go somewhere, and you are struck by a memory, or a reminder that you are not ever going to go anywhere with him again. I am learning that, and it is killing me. I hope it is getting a little better. On the bright side, I have lost 25 pounds in the last 6 weeks. That is one thing I haven't mourned the loss of. :)

Join the Conversation