You have no idea how much you'll be helping her by just being there for her......you don't have to make conversation......just be there with her so she's not alone. Helping with the chores is a wonderful thing to do if she's open to it. Listen to her. Watch TV with her. Just be there.
When I first lost my husband I didn't want to be alone. I wanted someone to stay with me that didn't ask me what I wanted or what they could do.....I just wanted another body with me. Even though you don't know exactly what she's going through.......let her know that you
will be with her for whatever she needs/ wants. Wishing you and your friend much strength and courage.

when i lost my son i couldnt even get through cooking a meal...my mind was mush...let alone the daily tasks...everything seems like it requires more energy than before...doing things for her would be great! i appreciated people who helped with the daily tasks..it was just too overwhelming

grieving is hard very hard the losses the disillusionment all the pain the days gone by people change I am so sorry for the loss of your friends son

Just be there, Do not say (I know how you feel) or (time will heal). A lot of people mean well and say these things because they do not know what else to say. She just needs to know that you care and have you near. To listen is the greatest gift that you can give her. And to set quitely when she does not want to talk. She is very lucky to have a friend like you.

You are definitely an angel in disguise. You are doing exactly what is needed. I'm sure it is terribly frustrating not being able to make it all better, but I agree with the others that no words are needed.....just lots of hugs and the only spoken words should be "I'm here for you."
She may repeat stories or events....even the last moments she had with him over and over again (her mind is trying to process his death)....so just listen and hug.
Your actions speak louder than words! Your deeds may seem unappreciated at the moment becuz she is unable to tell you what it means to her right now.

First, thoughts and prayers for your friend.

Having walked this path for 10 years - my 18 year old son died in 2003 - I can tell you it's the most difficult walk of a lifetime.

I too locked myself in the house, my bedroom exactly. I lived on Lorazepam and Diet Coke for months. So, not healthy or recommended. The times I did leave were because friends "rescued" me and made me live.

the best gift you can give her is to listen. Let her cry, let her be angry, let her tell you stories .... over and over if need be but listen. Be the person she knows she can say whatever she needs to, act how she feels like and not be judged. That shoulder will be the best medicine for her.

For you, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard to watch and at times you may want to not call her, not check in but do it. Do it daily - you will be her anchor and lifeline.

I wish you both much strength, courage and a lifetime of friendship.

I am so sorry for your friends loss. My 31 year old son passed away January 25, 2013. I was and am still lost. I am functioning but there is no joy. No spirit. The physical effects are many however, I can relate to your friend not being able to breathe. I too struggle to find breaths every day. It's like someone kicked me in the solar plexus. Being on here, you may want to introduce your friend to an amazing group of Moms here. It's called ForMomsOnly. It is an amazing group of women that have also experienced the loss of a child. The support I have received from this group have convinced me I am not alone. I can rant, cry, scream and do it all over again and they listen. I hope when your friend is ready she reaches out and joins the group. Their kindness and patience and support are a lifeline.
You on the other hand are an angel. Sadly, there may be people who move away from your friend. People are really uncomfortable with the worst nightmare they can imagine so they disappear. Being there for her is the greatest gift you can give. Hold her hand. Listen. Cry with her. And just BE THERE!
My thoughts are with both of you.

If someone you know or love has lost a child...you may feel powerless as to what to do to help...here is some simple, yet very helpful advise. (I found this on a site called Silent Grief)
The most frequently asked question concerning child loss is this: "What helps? What can I do that would really help?" The answer is quite simple. "Just be there. Don't abandon us when you find out we have changed. We'll never be the same person we were before losing our child. Don't tell us how to grieve the loss of our child. Allow us to express our grief in our own way and in our own time without judgement. And, please mention our child often. Let us know that you remember. That helps us so much!"

ForMomsOnly is a DS member group of adult women who are "grieving forward" despite the loss of our children. We are dedicated and committed to continuing our personal journey of discovery and change for ourselves, in order to live more fully. We will support other grieving mothers and we wish to spread hope and healing through information, experience and kindness.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/formomsonly

I lost my son 4 yrs ago. I did not want to talk to anyone for any length of time. I did write my feelings down and emailed them to my best friend. I did find DS through a friend. I joined " FOR MOMS ONLY" They have helped me survive. Hugs and no words seem to help me. You will need to find out the best way to support your friend by watching for clues ( sometimes this is not easy). I know she will need you for many years because this is a life time of gief that never goes away, it just has status changes.

Wishing you and your friend warmth and condolences.
Penny