I just passed the 2 month mark since my partner passed. I too am finding it more and more difficult with each passing day. I find I'm getting worse instead of better. I guess this is why they refer to stages of grief!

Grief is a rollercoaster...sometimes you feel OK, and then it hits you like a ton of bricks. Have you seen a grief counselor or any kind of counselor at all? How about support groups for bereavement? If you would rather not be on meds I would encourage you to try the talk therapy route first, and to keep finding groups like this one and/or in-person groups where you can talk about how you feel with people who have been there.

Good luck... (((HUGS)))

I have lost many friends and I have preached a lot of funerals this year, sometimes 2 in one day. My greatest loss was my 37 year old son, 4 years ago.

As M2M said, there are time when you feel ok and then other times it comes at you like a tidal wave. Sometimes it;s in a song, a thought, a color, a place, whatever. Sometimes there are those who use antidepressants to help cope but it takes 2 weeks to a month for these to really show any affect. I found that talking about my son, his life, his qualities, etc. helped me the most, Each of us are different and we grieve at different levels and different lengths. I am here if you need me.

I am so sorry about your brother and dad. A double hit like that sounds just devastating. Before you jump into antidepressants, I strongly suggest you see a pro grief counselor and have a couple of sessions. S/he can then coordiante with your doc on what to take if you go with medication. Like others have said, grief is a convoluted rollercoatser ride. I'm not surprised you are worse now. Usually there is a period of shock and numbness until it starts to sink in.. And don't be surprised if you make progress and then have a setback. Its a complicated process. I would also suggest you hit a bookstor or Amazon and find a couple of books written by Alan Wolfelt, and by Therese Rando. They will will guide you through what to expect. Please know that you are not alone. Everyone has a unique journey but your feelings are shared by many. But grief is something that has to be worked through. There is no magic pill. They can help, but pills wont do the work for you. God bless. Scott

Actually, as a former mental health prof with a private practice as well as someone who deals with bipolar, and just lost my mother, i'm kind of pro-medication. yes, there are some that take a 14 - 21 day ramp-up, but many others that don't. when totally overwhelmed, some of the chemicals in the brain (such as serotonin) are doing so much overtime work that they can get depleted. while they may 'right' themselves after a period of time, chemical induction, through some anti-dep's can assist the process, and lift enough of the emotional paralysis so that one can move through the grieving process. let me be clear: i am NOT saying TAKE DRUGS - i AM saying see a shrink (one that is recomended by someone, perhaps intially through a grief counselor), and consider your options. there are specific stages of grieving that most hospitals and hospices believe in: denial, anger, bargaining (if only i'd done this, etc.) depression and acceptance (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross).. i add my own - a final one - 'hope'. the stages are not linear, and one may/often does cycle through them. medication absolutely CAN help - and certainly need not be long-term. i don't believe they are a crutch. common analogy - if i had diabetes, i'd take insulin. god bless

I strongly concur with what Lunacat says. See a professional and maybe a combination of treatments will be your best option but do not think that by taking drugs you are doing something wrong. Depression is a disease, one you didn't ask for and as with any medical condition sometimes drugs are needed. For some reason in our society taking drugs for emotional problems tends to make us feel weak. I have been on and off antidepressants for over twenty years because I would quit taking them the moment I felt better. Oh, it is very common to feel worse(if that is possible) a few months after a horrible loss. I think we are in shock at first and maybe that is good or how would we do what we have to do. Then the shock wears off and we get really hit hard. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself and do see a professional counselor asap. Nancy

I also am at the 2 month mark with the passing of my mother. Every day, I ask GOD for the strength to get through another day, but lately, I've also been asking for some good days. They seem hard to come by...As far as the antidepressents go, I have Bipolar Disorder and take medicine. I'm also grieving. I can tell you that asking my doctor for additional medicine for anxiety has really helped me with getting by to do every day things. I would recommend medications if you feel it would help you. The only suggestion I would make is to check out the side effects and talk with your doctor about them.

I llost my boyfriend on 5/22/09 and it was sudden.Brad chose to end his life and right now dear...I am in grief also.Grief takes time.i am trying to live without him and it is hard...I am also finding it hard and this is in every passing day...Brad loved life..but he had problems and i have been kicking myself ever since because he never discussed them.Always discuss your problems.Never keep it in.And tears are the best medicine.I cry whenever i can.