I hear you and I understand you..... I was really angry to at one time..... I get it...…. Big hug.....xo

Anger is a scary emotion for a lot of us, me included: both to spend time around. and to stew in it alone. Anger is also as honest and rational a thought process and emotion as any other more socially acceptable one.

Anger, I contend, is based on our inborn sense that there must be justice, somehow, but there doesn't seem to be much of it in evidence, so in our minds, we build cases to present before a judge; cases that are often never heard, and consequences that don't ever seem to take place. So, anger continues to burn in our minds and in our guts, justified by our sense of right.

Normal, yes. Unfortunately, the one who is destroyed by anger is not all of the parties that seem to be guilty, but the one who holds it closely and stokes the flames by repetitive thoughts and furious cursing tirades.

To say, "Get over it", is not real, not in this dimension. And you certainly have the right to hold on to anger as long as you choose. I'm sure you are aware of the destruction it is working in your life and relationships.

Should you ever want to access Peace, again though, there is One who will hear your anger, but will absorb it into Himself and, if you will allow Him to, take justice to Himself, returning forgiveness and peace to you. His name is Jesus.
I've screamed and ranted at Him in my own life, and when I am exhausted, He raps His arms around me and gives me His peace in exchange for my allowing Him to judge and punish in His Court. Then, I can choose freedom.

I will open Heaven up for you, Sess, as I present you in prayer.
Shalom

Sess..... I just wanted to add that anger is a secondary emotion in other words something causes it

Sometimes feeling anger is easier on us then feeling the primary emotion.... I'll add a definition... It might help you to understand these feelings......xo

Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry.

I'm so sorry for you loss!! I do understand, since I have gone thru a very similar accident. I understand your anger at everyone involved and there can be much blame to go around! Part of grieving is anger and I've always said to those going thru it, God has very big shoulders and he can handle and understand your anger. He'll take the angry words and nod his head in understanding. It's ok to be angry, just take care to no ruin your future and relationships in it. It is good to have someone to talk to that is not the point of your anger, do you have a counselor? If not, many churches offer it free. In the end, what happened has happened and you can't change it, even with all the regrets and anger, no one can change it. After anger, you might find in time acceptance of what was and use that energy to help others. People need someone they can vent to and share with that won't come with repercussions or consequences, so find someone you can go to and when you are ready, be that someone for others who are hurting. Only those who have been there can understand clearly. Start a journal maybe and write down the good times and good memories to focus on to get you thru the hard times. My heart goes out to you, sending healing hugs!