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I'm asking you for honest answers - no need to feel you will hurt my feelings. I'd prefer honesty. My friend who rents upstairs/helps me and I have had alot of bumpy arguments - one which involved going to Mom's grave a few weeks ago. He wanted to drive me around her birthday but I opted not to due to expense of tolls - planning on going closer to Christmas to bring grave blanket then. (Long story but there was a bad argument over my not agreeing to one decision and sticking to it.) Tonight, similarly, after planning to go this weekend, he gave me an alternate option of doing something Christmas-oriented instead of the cemetery (after suggesting taking me there) - but which would cost me money. I'm tight for cash, and he's not paying for this outing - that money could go for tolls or gas or food. I now don't want to wind up with weather changing for the worse. Am I being too stubborn? I'm just watching every dollar. I repeat - your honest opinions will not hurt my feelings. I keep wondering if I'm being too obstinate.
deleted_user
It sounds to me like it would stress you out to spend the money, sounds like it is already stressing you out just thinking about spending it. If it was me I wouldn't do anything at all unless I had a strong desire to do it. Visiting your Mom's gravesite won't help her, she's not in there. Only the remains of her body are there. And it would probably be depressing for you to go there. I think the best way to show respect and love to the deceased is to just continue to love them and connect with them in your heart and with your memories of them. A happy Christmas outing would probably do you more good if money wasn't an issue. When I get confused about what to do I just don't do anything. If someone is putting pressure on me to do things I'm unsure of, then they aren't helping me, so I just do what is best for me even if that is not doing anything at all, they will get over it anyway. Money is an issue for most people right now, so it is wise to be frugal. I think you can show love for you mother by talking to her in your heart and it won't cost anything. Also there are plenty of Christmasy things you can do that are free too. I don't think you are being obstinate, I think you are just trying to stick to your budget which when we blow our budget we get into trouble and it's hard to have any fun at all when we do things that we will probably regret later.
deleted_user
Are you not visiting your mother's grave because of money or because your not accepting her death? If it's truly money then why go there? She now lives in your heart not in at the gravesite.
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