I lost my love 38 days ago. Everyone keeps telling me "Jody, you've changed" and "It will be okay". YES, I have changed! I used to go home to a wonderful man and beautiful stepson. Now I go home to an empty house. May 19th was to have been his 54th birthday. June 7th is my birthday and would have been our 9 yr anniversary. Why can't people understand that ,yes, I do still cry everyday. You don't just rebound in a month from a life changing loss like this. I hold it together at work and only occasionally have to step into the bathroom to get it under control. Why can't they understand that I am sad and broken inside? And "NO" It will never be ok with me, it may be different but not ok. I am trying my hardest to learn to live alone, work 2 jobs. and do all of the stuff around the house and yard that he used to do. I am also dealing with my dad. He had surgery for colon cancer in 2010 and now has tumors in his liver and one lung. So I beg the pardon of my friend s and co-workers, but right now I do not feel like laughing or joking around. I do not want to go out and have a few drinks. I am to busy concentrating on getting through the next breath! I am grieving the best that I know how. I am hurting and trying not to put it on other people. I am doing my best to be strong and focus on the future and not what I have lost. Yet I feel so alone and weak.