Yes, this is normal. Its a restless feeling that sometimes can't be shaken. I felt the same today. Lost without the love of my life, so I wandered the mall with a blank stare just to pass time and change the scenary. I find myself being angry that there are bad people in the world, yet a good one was taken away.

It is very normal. I was the same way for months after I lost my dad.

Everyone that I saw who was happy, I was instantly mad at them, furious even. One of my friends had a baby a few days after my dad died and I was just so downright furious that someone had something so wonderful added to their life and that something so wonderful was taken from mine.

it DOES get better though

Hang in there

Hello TheGreatKate...yes, the hurt, pain, angst, rawness, heartbreak did take hold for me...nothing seemed right or fair...no one got it...it was so deep...it took me along time after each loss (6 in 6 years)...plus or minus 24 months of each loss I softened a little about the loss of each person...please be patient with yourself...and know you are not alone...

Yes, very normal. It's important you find a safe and healthy way of releasing the anger. I used to pound my pillows with my fists - didn't hurt anybody, got it out of my system, and had the added bonus of fluffing them up! I carried a journal with me and if I got ticked off at work, I would journal on my lunch hour - scribbling literally like mad - and then I could go back to work and get through the rest of the day.

Some people find exercise helps, others prayer or meditation.

Grief takes a lot of different pieces to deal with it - there is no right way or wrong way - but I found having a way of releasing it helped keep me from snapping at my kids, or blowing up at the office, or losing it while driving. Any of those places it can be dangerous to blow up. I also got counseling and that was my safe place to scream and cry if I needed to.

Hope this helps....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thank you every one for your input and support. I am snapping at my son all the time. I try not to and I feel immensely guilty for it. I hate who I am right now. I am like a bomb ready to explode and I can't take it.

Journaling never did it for me...I have tried, but I make it about 2 days and then I'm done. I was thinking of joining a gym though. I went to a bereavement support group on December 10th for the first time and they don't meet up again until January 14th. I have a therapist and she is supportive.

I really hate feeling like this and I don't know how I am going to get through it. I have lost people before. 2 grandfathers, 1 grandmother, a cousin, an uncle, a friend, my dad...it's never been like this.

In line with punching pillows you may get a giggle out of the Dammit Doll...just Google DAMMIT DOLL - the poem is catching...in the days after my most recent loss I slammed her around quite a bit...

Thank you Hamley...my sister used to have a dammit doll, but it's been years since I have seen one. Thank you for the suggestion

Dear Kate: you sound like you are depressed. I know when I suffered from depression, I sounded like you I was angery at every one and every thing nothing made me feel happy.I don,t know if you lost someone you loved that can also cause anger. I saw a therpist got on some antidepressants Prozac and with in a week I felt good again. I hated that feeling. I lost my daughter and went through anger then to. I hope you feel better soon and maybe think about what I said. hugs zzz

Hello zzztop,

thank you for your suggestion...I see a therapist and I have a psychiatrist as well. I have been on several different anti-depressants and it never seemed to help. Then it did and eventually I weaned myself off and have been off medication for about 2 years now. I hate to go back on, but I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a few weeks. She probably will prescribe me an anti-depressant, but I hate medication. I have lost myself due to medication as well. I guess we will see how it goes though

Thank you.

p.s.--I lost my fiance. I am sorry to hear about your daughter *hugs*

Dear Great Kate. It IS normal to feel anger when one has lost the "love of my life." What a gut-wrenching disappointment! Just when you thought you would have a companion forever, he is gone. Anger is one of the normal stages of loss & grief -- an "umbrella" feeling that covers up a lot of other feelings underneath it, like fear, sadness, loneliness. And, perhaps, as zzztop suggests, you may be slipping into yet another normal stage of grief, depression. You were wise to make an appointment with the psychiatrist - professional can help us regain enough hope to rebuild our lives. Not to regain the life we had expected, but different lives this time.

I think most of us here on this site have experienced at one time or another what you are feeling now. Knowing the stages of loss doesn't make our pain any less, it doesn't prevent us from mourning, but it does assure us we are normal. When I lost my love, no one told me I would get through it. But, with the support of my friends and some professional help, I did. I don't think people "get over it," but by learning how to to comfort ourselves, along with the support and kindness of friends, and sometimes with a little (or a lot of) professional help, I believe it is possible for you to "get through it," too. Hugs.