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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

2 teens were killed by a drunk driver

vader
vader
The 3 young men were out to celebrate high school graduation.The car stalled.Out of nowhere came a repeat dui person who smashed into the back of the car with his suv ,,,killing a lovely boy named Derek and Nick.(I wont use their last names.) But what bothers me is that man who did it is a repeat offender.Why did the seattle prosecuters left him off? This man is dangerous.When I heard the news.I screamed.You see a lovely man whom I grew up was killed 30 years old coming home from the Giants game in New Jersey (where I from)...who did it?He was killed in a head on collision by a drunk driver.Teens...these are the best years of your life.You can do things and wear things that I at 62 would not.You can have fun.But please do not drink and drive.If you are going to drink...please call a cab.If you are going to drink get a designed driver.If you are going to drink....take the bus and if you dont live far...you can walk.Please remember this...These boys who were killed were not drinking they were passengers in the car.And tonight at 62,vader is crying.And tonight at 62,vader is in mourning and I am crying for two lovely people whom I dont know who were victims of a very selfish person.He wanted to drink.ANd now the lives of people are shattered forever.I am inviting Derek and Nicks parents and friends to come to Daily Strength as they begin their bereavement and lets remember this...my old grandfather used to say...ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS.PLEASE REMEMBER THIS.And in one moment,they were gone and I am crying at I write this.And vader is asking anyone who lost anyone this way to write her and I will write back. You see,Larry was a special person.He was Mr.Terrific.And to be gone at an early age like Larry shows me then and now that people will
always do what they think is right..not what they dont think is right.And tonight I extend my hand to the families of Derek and Nick.....lets reach out to them and touch them.They were suppose to graduate tomorrow.In stead the parents are making plans for their funerals.And to the drunk driver......you should go to jail for the rest of your life or if that is too harsh...have your license taken away for life.I am sorry...people who drive drunk are putting other lives at stake.Brad was arrested for drunk driving in 2007.He spend time in jail in 2008.He was there for one month.ANd how Brad is dead.....Brad went to 12 different rehabs and this is why I am asking this driver to think of what he did.Lets show compassion for Derek and Nick..not the driver.......and today I am thinkig of that wonderful smile I miss.Larry..I will always care for you and Bubba..I miss you.Vader and the cats.......dont drive and drive!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vader:

Unfortunately, stories like this occur more often that they should. I was a member of SADD-(Students Against Drunk Driving) in High School, and it does sadden me when things like this occurs....everyone should know-(unless they are INCREDIBLY ignorant) that you cannot drink and drive safely. I agree that the laws are sometimes too lenient,and like other crimes repeat offenders are way too common. We should all remember the lesson from this story, especially now that prom and graduation season is upon us. I, too hear of too many stories of young lives cut short by either one of the young people drinking and driving,or anyone drinking and driving,for that matter. What a sad commentary on our society!!

Tom B. aka Ihman
vader
vader
Tom-thanks for your reply.But why do these tragedies happen before graduation? The parents and friends are heartbroken.They were suppose to start college.Such lovely boys.And all because of the act of a very selfish person who wanted to drink and not take a cab home.If you have the money to go to a bar and drink,you have the money to get a cab! I hope he goes to jail forever........
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree that this person should be punished severely-(a multi-year jail sentence would be appropriate.). I wish I had some answers as to why this occurs from time to time. You are right that people who drink can afford to take a cab or have a designated driver that doesn't drink to drive them home. This just shows the downward spiral our society is taking-(and people wonder why this country is in so much trouble?).


Tom B. aka Ihman
vader
vader
tom...I just found out that some judges are overwhelmed by the amount and the increase of drunk drivers.Drunk drivers break a lot of peoples hearts and it is time we stop babying them.If you need 5 drinks a day or in a week...you have got a drinking problem.But if you deny it,like Brad always did..it causes trouble in the relationship.YOu dont know all of the appointments that I missed all because of his drinking.Now it is passed and I must get on with my life and for some reason...Brad could have been anything.He was a good cook which I miss and an excellent computer person.He knew everything about the computer.He knew and understood cats,but he
choose the easy way out and for this I am suffering.I owe 1200 for the rent and i cant pay for next month.I am prepared to join the homeless and live on the streets with my cats and put all of my possessions in storage for I am not giving up my cats and I wont.My cats are important to me.I 've had Kramer since 1998 and Tooey since 1999.I have raised them together and they are the best of friends and life without them would be depressing.What should I do? If i give them to the shelter...they would be put to sleep and i would feel terrible about it.So I am taking them with me where ever I GO AND and where ever it may be I hope it is in seattle.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'll pray that things improve for you...I understand why this is a touchy subject for you-(Brad passing away due to alcohol.). I think that some people with a drinking problem are too proud to admit they have a problem until it is too late. Frankly, I have much more respect for a person who admits they have a problem and are seeking help for it than to deny there is a problem until a tragedy like this happens.


Tom B. aka Ihman
vader
vader
tom..this is a touchy subject but Brad refused to believe that he had a problem.And I wished he did come clean..but he was sober for 5 years and it was the happiest time of our lives.vader and the cats.
deleted_user
deleted_user
why were the girls killed ? They died at 17 years old and 18 months. 18 months.. really? Ive just come to the conclusinon that its God choice not ours. And we dont get to make these choices. Try and at least take solice in knwoing the boys went quickly and together.

I am SURE the driver, drunk or not, who will now face DUI manslaughter and probably the rest of life behind bars.. will have to sit and think about those boys the rest of his life. No im not feeling sorry for him, only that he couldnt learn sooner, and had to end two lives to learn his lesson.

You even said yourself, brad was a drug user and a DUI offendor himself. It could be any of us. We all make stupid choices. And if he was on MEth, and driving, he's just as bad if not worse than people who drive drunk, or buzzed. Im not asking for compassion for this man, im asking for understanding that its a problem that happens all to often in our country.

That god has our fate planned before we are even born and these expereinces make us who we are along the way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is true....only god knows our destiny.

Tom B. aka ihman
vader
vader
I would like to clarify some of the facts about this terrible accident.Number one....this happened at 10.30 at night and they were coming home from a graduation party.Number two....the car stalled on 1-5 and if you have ever driven in seattle...when a car stalls on 1-5...it takes ages to get help.Number three---this man had a open vodka bottle on the seat.He was speeding and it is estimated he was going up to 100 miles per hour.And he just slammed in the back of the car and that is all.There was one survivor.The whole community is broken hearted.And we had another tragedy in the Fremont section of seattle.;On the weekend.there was a fire in the house killing a young mother and 4 children.These tragedies happen during graduation and I pray that they will not be repeated.Vader
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a selfish act by the drunk.....Having an open bottle in the car ,onlt thinking of his pleasure,and not thinking of innocent people he may kill.......what a sad commentary on our society!!

Tom B. aka Ihman
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was hit by a drunk teacher with 7, yes 7 prior DUIs. she went through a red light and t-boned my car driving it over three lanes and up onto a concrete embankment. It broke my neck, ribs feet and messed up my face, there were many witnesses but she lied, she was a teacher of our children... I lived through the many surgeries but feel I lost my life that day. Things have never been the same, I live with horrific pain and dangerous side effects from all the medications I am forced to take... I often wonder why in the world this woman was on the streets, why wasn't her licence revoked and how do other people deal with the anger... I am getting ready for a third neck surgery and the wreck was on July 28th, 1995 at 4:00PM.. it has been a very hard time. It seems our government does not care about us, they are dishonest and only seem to take and take, it is time someone with morals, ethics and brains take office and begin the change back to Of the People, for the people and by the people, instead of "bleed them dry". I am so sad that so many precious lives are taken, their families ruined for ever and it seems nobody really cares but the so called lawyers in it for the money.... It is time we the people start screaming for change... God bless us all.
P