((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))))))))
Grief doesn't disappear overnight my friend. It is different for everyone, but most people go through several phases in trying to deal with the life change that has taken place. There is no particular order in which grief takes place and you may revisit some phases repeatedly before there is acceptance or adjustment.
Be kind, gentle, and most of all....patient with yourself. Do not let ANYONE dictate when you are "over it."......that is not how grief works. However, if after a year you are still overwhelmed and can not feel some relief, you may want to talk with a grief counselor or clergy....especially if you did not have closure due to a sudden death or suicide.
You are still in the beginning stages hon. Post here to get support or find a grief group so you don't have to go through this alone....ok?

Thanks your your help MsBlank.......I feel that sometimes I do have a handle on it, then sometimes I just fall apart. I am always on this site and I find it very helpful. I have read many books about grief and the journey but it seems when we're in the thick of it......all is forgotten, because now it's about me! I was a happy person, before I met my husband and of course with my husband.......and I want that happy person to come back. I know it takes time and I'll get there. I've been through this with my first husband who was a drug addict and alcoholic. His passing was a relief for me because I didn't have the strength to leave him. My second husband, Chris was the man of my dreams. He died of a massive heart attack in the ER . This grief is so different.

Hi Mia -
I am so sorry for your loss. And you are only 2 months into it. There is no timetable for grief and this is all very new for you. I lost my daddy in January and I am still a mess. I cry all the time. There are days when I feel like I have a grip on things only to completely fall apart the next day. Everyone grieves differently and you need to give yourself the time to process everything. Don't feel like there is something wrong because you are still upset. Expect to be upset because it is not easy. I try to keep busy and talking to my dad helps a lot. I hope that you are able to add more smiles in to the mix. Just know that you are not alone and that your husband will always be with you. One day you will be reunited. This simple fact helps me through the rough patches. I'm here if you need to talk. Best to you. xo

Thanks TwoBoyz.......it really does help to post on here. I appreciate all the comments and help. I don't know where I'd be without this site.
I go to a grief group and I'm registered to go to a grief workshop. Hopefully, that will be a big help. People seem to do great with those groups. Not only do they meet others in the same boat but, they can talk freely and the counsellor s help them through. I am looking forward to going.
I am sorry for your loss......I know it's all part of life but, it really does suck! You're right, one day we'll be reunited with our loved ones. I guess everything takes time........

MsBlank said it very well. I am so sorry for your loss. And I don't think we ever get over a loss, we just have to get through it.

Hello, I just lost my husband March 29, I have been searching for some help online and your comment was very close to home. I too am crying and feeling sorry for myself. I try to walk everyday and read my bible and a book a friend gave me "I wasn't ready to say goodbye" but some days I just have a hard time with everything. Forgive me I'm new here and not exactly sure what to say. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My heart aches for my Pat,

Mia and rmcclain (and all who may be interested) -

As you've read, I've had a very tough time since my dad passed a few months ago. I read a book recently that helped to give me great peace - It's called Hello From Heaven. I highly, highly recommend reading it. It made me feel a lot better and they are true stories. I hope it can bring you some comfort as well. Hang in there. You are not alone. xo

so sorry for your loss ,, no cliches I know time does pass and life goes on ,, been through a few losses mom dad and on and on ,,, Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote alot of books on grief

Mia,

It sounds like you are using some good tools to help you navigate your journey through grief. Please accept this virtual {{{hug}}} from me and know that I am cheering you on

I sometimes feel like I am traveling a river and a set of rapids (strong emotions) appear around a blind corner. It is very difficult to navigate through rapids. Often, you just guide yourself as best you can and brace for inevitable impact against rocks (like self pity, fear, lonliness, etc.).

All rough patches eventually slow and you will be able to catch your breath. There is hope.

When my father passed and my brokenness was so fresh and confusion was intense I immediately set out to paint the entire backyard fence which helped me to focus ....and helped me to ground my self.

Two months is just the beginning. The first two months you were probably in somewhat of a shock - even if it was suspected.

My husband died more than 3 years ago - I don't normally go on this site - usually just the widows and widowers. Where you are at is common. You say - still a mess --- it takes a long time and you cannot rush things. Don't think of the future. I found it hard to think ahead - especially when I considered I could live more than 30 years. So just put it out of your mind for now.

In time, you will find your life will change. Probably your friends will change and of course your future will be different than what you had thought. But don't think of that now - you have years to think of the future. For now, just think of now.

It will get better in time - but it will take time....

I am sorry.
It takes along time for some people.I lost my wife back in 2001 and I am definitely not over it.I still cry.I still go to counselling.
Give yourself all the time you need.
Agree about the grief counselling/clergy or perhaps a support group if you have one in your area.
Find something to do.Perhaps volunteer work with children.Something that makes you feel good about yourself.Something you know your husband would be proud of you for doing.
Find something to do that's fun for you as well.Laugh.Don't be ashamed to laugh, giggle, or whatever at something that is fun.Your husband would want you to be happy.Always keep that in mind.

Good luck to you friend.

Found my Husband in the bathroom 3-13-13, knew He was ill, but didn't expect this. I'm having a few good days here and there. The depression, loneliness, and financial fear , along with alcohol is keeping me fairly paralyzed. I'm searching for support, and will try to make it to my first session with a bereavement group next week, tried a yoga class a few weeks which I had never done, and will try to return to that next week. Nothing has ever been this hard. I PERSONALLY NEED TO TRY TO PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE, focus on work, getting out of the house, and with God's grace the pain will ease.

I lost my dad 2 months ago suddenly and It seems like now the shock is starting to wear off. I can actually cry, and be angry about it, although I try not to be angry. Doesn't seem fair that all these wonderful people are taken from us but there are still scumbags walking around enjoying life. Take care of yourself, try to do things to pamper yourself whether it be a hot bath, or getting your nails done. One thing that helped me was getting back into a routine. I was on bereavement leave from work for a week but once I got back to work then it seemed to help some

Mourning is a life experience we are all called upon to face. PLEASE do not think for one moment that alcohol is of any help at all - it can just add to the confusion you feel. Grieving has to be faced head on and you need to experience it all fully and completely, before you can begin to heal.Be kind to yourself and above all do not impose time limits on yourself or allow others to impose them upon you.