Bedwetting Support Group
Bedwetting (or nocturnal enuresis or sleepwetting) is involuntary urination while asleep. It is the normal state of affairs in infancy, but can be a source of embarrassment when it persists into school age or the teen or adult years. Find others who are coping with a bedwetting problem and share your experiences and questions.
So, as I've mentioned in the past that I wear bedwetting diapers, specifically Goodnites; Although I have not mentioned that I am still "Babysat". Yes, I'm 15 years old and I should be able to take care of myself but my parents do not think so since I still wet the bed. So, my babysitter comes over when my parents are not home, which is usually every Tuesday and Thursday. The part that I complain about is that she helps monitor my bedwetting... and she's only 5 years older than me. So, you know there is automatically some minor teasing but It's not really anything that bothers me too much. When I say she monitors my bedwetting, she only tells me what time I need to put on the diaper, she checks me while I'm asleep if I've wet or not by smelling or by looking, and she also will wake me and help me change out of a wet diaper. It's embarrassing because of the short age distance and that I shouldn't be bedwetting at this age. Anyways, let me tell you two embarrassing memories: The first one is when I ran out of diapers while she was here, so we had to go to the store and buy some more; but the store did not have Goodnites so we had to buy pull-ups nighttime training pants (they still fit since I'm really skinny) and it was humiliating. The second memory was when I pooped when I was asleep and she helped me change. In conclusion, you can tell I'm stuck in an extremely embarrassing situation for atleast 1 more year. I feel overly-babied and it's not fun. Anyways, I just wanted to share my story and see everyone's opinions on it.
It sounds to me , reading your post, that you want out of wearing diapers. You are saying several times that you ought to be able to take care of this by yourself.
I commend you for your wisdom and that you have the knowledge and drive to grow out of needing to wear a diaper at night. I take it your wetting is accidental? If so, it is imperative that your mother takes you to a same-sex urologist ( doctor who treats bladders and kidney disease and everything that goes under these organs, including bed wetting.) for a thorough exam. It's not unheard of that bedwetting is a weakness of your bladder, possibly failure in nerve messages sent to your bladder.. A caring female Urologist will be able to make a diagnosis.
Training yourself to go to the bathroom at night after so many years of diapers will take some conscientious training of your bladder. The bladder has a sphincter which is a muscle which should not open without your brain telling it to, it should remain contracted keeping the urine in your bladder. You can train those muscles by doing what is called Keggel exercise.. Put 'What is Keggel Exercise' ' in the browser and it should give you the directions. When the muscles that open and shut the bladder sphincter work they will keep the bladder exit closed and prevents urine from leaking out. This muscle just maybe lazy, and just like all other muscles needs strengthening, training, exercise., that's what Keggel Exercises are for.. That's the first thing I recommend. The second, and just as important, stop drinking any liquids after 6PM or even earlier. And third, go to the bathroom and fully empty your bladder just before you got to bed. Run water in the sink, that can help activate the system, press down from your belly repeatedly and take your time on the throne to make sure you totally emptied your bladder.
If you are doing the exercises correctly you should be able to consciously control the bladder opening by pinching the sphincter muscle, with your mind. I am assuming that you are doing well during the day and that you are controlling when to empty your bladder. Always empty your bladder as soon as you feel the need. Don't hold it because you end up stretching your bladder and weaken the bladder walls. This can contribute to a weak sphincter and can lead to constant dribbling, leaking. If you use the bathroom normally during the day then your body already knows and does what it should.
Quite often in young children and young teens these sphincter muscles are weak and during sleep, when we are not aware, they open when there is pressure from a full bladder. You need to cut off all drinking after 5-6 PM to prevent the overfilled bladder. This reduces the pressure on the sphincter muscles.
BEDWETTING IS NOT THE FAULT OF THE CHILD OR INDIVIDUAL AND PUNISHMENT IS ONLY ADDING CRUELTY TO AN ALREADY DIFFICULT SITUATION FOR THE CHILD/INDIVIDUAL.
Children who bedwetting suffer great shame. They suffer also from low self esteem. Punishment can push the individual to become dysmorphic meaning they hate their body, because cbild feels let down by its own body. In girls especially, this could lead into Bulimia or Anorexia. The bedwetting just happens, one does not have control.
I used to occasionally wet my bed until I was 14 yrs old. I would sleep and dream that I am walking in the woods and needed to go to the bathroom. So I would go behind a tree in my dream, pull down my panties and wake up in shock just as I am finish wetting the bed. The punishment from my parents, my mother especially, was swift and terrible. She would hang my stained and wet sheet out of my bedroom window. Kids going to school would see this and know. what happened. In school that day and later there was such cruelty, to the max, children are cruel, for a fourteen year old. Sometimes my mother would write my name in huge letters on that sheet too and then hang it out. My sister would laugh at me, frown and say hurtful things. One time she threw me down the apartment stairs, laughing in anger. She was ashamed to have sister who wet her bed still.
It destroyed my self, it crushed my developing self respect and shattered any budding confidence. This and any punishment, no matter how small, just berating the child, is wrong. Believe me, we the children do all the screaming at and shaming and anger to ourselves, we are so deeply ashamed. No child wets the bed on purpose, doesn't wet the bed because we were too lazy to get up. It's not the child's fault. It's not your fault.
Be kind and understanding.
.Once you have trained your bladder and your mind to some degree,, you will start seeing dry diapers in the morning. BUT, you must then not simply pee into this diaper, it may be tempting and easier, you need to go to the bathroom and empty your bladder into the toilet. Your body is learning a new routine and you must encourage that routine.
Now you can beginning to sleep without the diaper, just use an absorbent pad over your bottom sheet to protect the sheet and mattresses from an accident. Accidents can still happen occasionally, but if you keep training there will fewer and fewer until there aren't any more. You should also stop drinking anything after 6 PM or even sooner, and you will need to stick to that for a long time, you don't want to overall your bladder. Go and empty your bladder completely just before you go to bed, this too you will need to make a lifelong habit.. As you go to sleep, relax and tell yourself that you will wake up, that you will listen to your body while you are sleeping and wake if you feel pressure from the bladder and go use the bathroom.. Believe it! Never urinate into the diaper on purpose, that only teachers your brain the wrong message.
Be patient, it takes some time to train your body to do what comes natural for most people. But if you stick with it you can live without diapers, I believe that. But first you really need an exam by a caring urologist (doctor) to rule out any mechanical, medical or organic issues that could be fixed.
Keep believing that you are old enough and responsible to control when and where you will l empty your bladder, that you can train your body to function as it was designed to.
Doing this is very important for your wellbeing, your self respect, your strength and for your confidence. for now and for the rest of your life. Being able to overcome this obstacle will benefit you for the rest of your life. You will feel such a self assurance, and such self respect, nothing will ever seem impossible! I do Wish you good luck.!