Bedwetting Support Group
Bedwetting (or nocturnal enuresis or sleepwetting) is involuntary urination while asleep. It is the normal state of affairs in infancy, but can be a source of embarrassment when it persists into school age or the teen or adult years. Find others who are coping with a bedwetting problem and share your experiences and questions.
I recently came across a post from another person elsewhere about how they had been encountering "too many creeps on the bedwetting group". While this is just one person and I have no idea who they may have encountered or what may have been said, I think it needs to be said here so that everyone here can be aware of it.
Unfortunately, it seems like one person's attempt to find support might be another person's definition of creepy. We do have to remember that this is a family site and people from lots of different age groups and walks of life come here. I would like to suggest a few rules of thumb that I think it would be reasonable for everyone here to follow. If you don't agree or think these are fair, please respond so we can talk about it. I think we can all agree it's not cool that people who are coming here for support are being driven away because of the behavior of a few people.
*Please don't post pictures of yourself in visible diapers. Diapers are just another kind of underwear, right? Well, would you want to see pictures of people in their non-diaper underwear? Or would that be creepy? I think a good rule of thumb is that if it's not appropriate to go out in public dressed a certain way, it's not appropriate to post a picture of yourself dressed that way here either. f you want to exchange that kind of picture, just like you would in real life, do so in a private setting AFTER you have gotten to know a person and you are both 100% crystal clear that you are comfortable doing so.
*Please don't treat this group like a dating service. Guys, especially - just because a girl comes here and wants support for bedwetting issues, that doesn't mean she wants to find a boyfriend who has bedwetting issues, and even less a boyfriend who enjoys bedwetting or diapers. And remember if you are over 18 there are laws against even making these kind of suggestions to people who are under 18.
*Please don't post here if you're here because you like wetting your bed as a fetish, or kink, or any such reason, or if you like diapers in that way. It doesn't matter if you also happen to wet involuntarily at night in addition to having those interests - once it becomes a matter of enjoyment for you, you're no longer capable of giving objective advice and support to people who really don't like wetting and are trying to stop, and you should seek support for your interests elsewhere. There are plenty of other places online for people who enjoy wetting themselves, and almost none for people who dislike their bedwetting and want to stop because those sites have all been taken over by the other group. Notice I did NOT say if you like wetting, that's not a valid thing or you're not deserving of support - simply that it's not possible for one site to support both groups, and this site is intended for people who have bedwetting as an involuntary medical condition and want to stop.
*If you are completely incontinent and have no bladder control at all day or night, there's a group for that, located here: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Urinary-Incontinence/support-group Bedwetting is a different condition where people who otherwise have bladder control at least some of the time, but still have accidents in bed at night. While there's some room for legitimate overlap between the two groups, please remember that most people who are here for bedwetting do not use diapers 24/7 and do not want to do so. If you do use diapers 24/7 and want to talk about that, the Urinary Incontinence board is here for exactly that purpose.
Does everyone else here think these guidelines are reasonable? Would you suggest any other guidelines or changes to these? Perhaps if there's enough support, we could consider contacting DS and having some version of these guidelines attached to the description of this group, so that they would have grounds to remove people who violate them and make other people uncomfortable. Or am I way off base in thinking that we have a real problem here, based on the comment I saw? Please discuss!
Unfortunately, it seems like one person's attempt to find support might be another person's definition of creepy. We do have to remember that this is a family site and people from lots of different age groups and walks of life come here. I would like to suggest a few rules of thumb that I think it would be reasonable for everyone here to follow. If you don't agree or think these are fair, please respond so we can talk about it. I think we can all agree it's not cool that people who are coming here for support are being driven away because of the behavior of a few people.
*Please don't post pictures of yourself in visible diapers. Diapers are just another kind of underwear, right? Well, would you want to see pictures of people in their non-diaper underwear? Or would that be creepy? I think a good rule of thumb is that if it's not appropriate to go out in public dressed a certain way, it's not appropriate to post a picture of yourself dressed that way here either. f you want to exchange that kind of picture, just like you would in real life, do so in a private setting AFTER you have gotten to know a person and you are both 100% crystal clear that you are comfortable doing so.
*Please don't treat this group like a dating service. Guys, especially - just because a girl comes here and wants support for bedwetting issues, that doesn't mean she wants to find a boyfriend who has bedwetting issues, and even less a boyfriend who enjoys bedwetting or diapers. And remember if you are over 18 there are laws against even making these kind of suggestions to people who are under 18.
*Please don't post here if you're here because you like wetting your bed as a fetish, or kink, or any such reason, or if you like diapers in that way. It doesn't matter if you also happen to wet involuntarily at night in addition to having those interests - once it becomes a matter of enjoyment for you, you're no longer capable of giving objective advice and support to people who really don't like wetting and are trying to stop, and you should seek support for your interests elsewhere. There are plenty of other places online for people who enjoy wetting themselves, and almost none for people who dislike their bedwetting and want to stop because those sites have all been taken over by the other group. Notice I did NOT say if you like wetting, that's not a valid thing or you're not deserving of support - simply that it's not possible for one site to support both groups, and this site is intended for people who have bedwetting as an involuntary medical condition and want to stop.
*If you are completely incontinent and have no bladder control at all day or night, there's a group for that, located here: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Urinary-Incontinence/support-group Bedwetting is a different condition where people who otherwise have bladder control at least some of the time, but still have accidents in bed at night. While there's some room for legitimate overlap between the two groups, please remember that most people who are here for bedwetting do not use diapers 24/7 and do not want to do so. If you do use diapers 24/7 and want to talk about that, the Urinary Incontinence board is here for exactly that purpose.
Does everyone else here think these guidelines are reasonable? Would you suggest any other guidelines or changes to these? Perhaps if there's enough support, we could consider contacting DS and having some version of these guidelines attached to the description of this group, so that they would have grounds to remove people who violate them and make other people uncomfortable. Or am I way off base in thinking that we have a real problem here, based on the comment I saw? Please discuss!
One thing I will say. There are some here, and I was one of those people. I started out with some hit and miss wetting issues and we tried everything to get my control back. Medications, time voiding and what not, None of that helped and I was forced to turn to diaper to handle my issue. For some people that is the only option that works out in the end. I have seen a lot of conversations here and in the incontinence group where the battle of diapers vs. no diapers has been going on. We need to keep those conversations friendly and not attacking on or the other. Because that can put more stress in the person who originally posted.
So I think these rules are fairly good. Our more for front thought should be that of encouragement and helpfulness. Midnight77 I have seen a few posts here that I wish had kinda been removed because that is not what this site is about. But good job on the rules. Thank you for the time you took to post this
@celticgirl - I hear what you are saying, and I don't wish to make this a "diapers vs. no diapers" issue - rather, I think it's an issue of keeping people who have an unhealthy fixation with diapers from overrunning the board. For someone who's been around here for awhile, it's usually pretty easy to tell who the creeps are as compared to those who use diapers simply because it's their only reasonable medical option. But the problem is, for (as an example) a teenager coming here for the first time looking for support, it's not always so easy to tell - and to see pictures of people in diapers, or to be asked if they like diapers or told that bedwetting is sexy, etc., will come off as extremely creepy, and if enough people do that as soon as someone signs up for this group, it completely ruins the value of the group as a place of support. I decided to post this after hearing from someone who was contacted by more than ten such people without even having made a single post on the public board, simply because they had a profile on here and joined the bedwetting group. I think it should be obvious that a group like this simply cannot succeed with such behavior going on.
I'd also still emphasize the point that for those who are 24/7 incontinent, the Urinary Incontinence board exists EXACTLY for that purpose. Again, not that there isn't ever legitimate overlap between the two, but at the same time, the emotional issues, challenges and goals can be very different for someone who is completely incontinent day and night as opposed to someone who is mostly continent but wets the bed two or three times a month. I think occasional bedwetters can sometimes feel intimidated when most of the discussion on "bedwetting" is focused more on total incontinence, and that's easily remedied by simply using the incontinence board for its intended purpose. That's all. :)
I agree with your post. Its unfortunate that it had to be said but it needed to be mentioned. This is a support group so it should be somewhere anyone can come to discuss the issue at hand and not have to worry about who they encounter or think twice about posting or conversing.
1. I agree with the photos being way too much. You said it perfectly, diapers are underwear, and you dont go just posting photos of yourself in underwear at a support group. Especially since this isnt a diaper-support group, but just a bedwetting group. Just because someone wets the bed, doesnt mean they have/need/want to wear diapers. I know I didnt for a long time and like you said, if its not something you would wear out in public in the open, then dont make it your photo. I think that is a good rule of thumb.
2. Again, I agree. Im a guy so there seems to be more of us on here but I dont come here for that reason. The group should just be for discussing the problem in supportive or constructive ways.
3. I get that some other people may be into wetting/diapers but a lot of other people arent so unless you know for sure, the group or chats should be for just support and on topic. Since this is a bedwetting group, I think it should be for those who involuntarily suffer from it and if thats not the case for you then you can be supportive but keep the other stuff out of the conversation.
4. This one kind of applies to me but I have reasoning to be in both. I have suffered from being a bedwetter for 14 years now and it is a nightly problem for me. Im not completely incontinent but I do suffer from occasional day time incontinence from time to time as a result of UTIs and prostatitis. I have had these incontinence issues only for the last few years, so not nearly as long as the bedwetting. With that being said, I do have day time control so its not a full time issue for me like bedwetting is. So I can relate to there being somewhat of an overlap.
I think these are very good, basic, reasonable guidelines. Im sure there are a few other guidelines we could add but these are a good start.