Hi
Your son not wanting to change in front of a 13 year old girl and acting up to avoid her seeing him naked is understandable. He may only be eight but it must be very embarrassing for him to been seen with nothing on and to be put into a diaper by a girl that is not that much older.

I would think if the only issue he has with her babysitting him is around the diaper simply switch to a pull-up diaper that he can put on by himself. Give him the responsibility that he can change himself but he cannot go to bed without the diaper on so he needs to learn to change into his diaper on his own. The pull-up type will make it easier for him and doing it himself will hopefully eliminate the behavior issues at bedtime. He is only eight but understandably embarrassed about wetting the bed and needing to wear a diaper along with being changed by a young girl.

These diapers have good reviews and may work fine for him and allow him to change himself Liberos Comfort 7 and Up&Go 8 (pull up)

When does the babysitter come over, what is his bedtime, and when do you get home? Something we've done a couple times is put our daughter's diaper on before the babysitter comes over, and then change her when we get home. It does mean she has to use the diaper if she has to go potty while the babysitter is here and go to bed with a wet diaper, which is why we change her when we get back. Normally we can do that without even waking her up.

We do tell the babysitter what we're doing so there aren't any surprises if something happens, but our daughter doesn't know we've told her so her dignity is mostly intact.

What type of diapers do you use? We've tended to use slightly more absorbent (and thicker) ones when we do this.

I So Feel For Your Son! A friend told me to stop All liquids at dinner time, pee before bed and get son up at 11pm to pee. He never wet his bed. Diaper, have him use male adult pads and under ware over them to keep them in place. He I believe can be traumatized by shame of wetting and having this girl diaper him. There maybe emotional/physical issues, you didn't write if he's been to ped. dr. I'm a single mother too, father never in the life of my son....very sad...very hard too wear all hats.
best of luck!

Good God.

Buy him some goodnites for babysitting nights. Let him save a shred of dignity.

Thank you to all of you for your responses. I really do appreciate them. To answer a few of your questions, I'll just leave them here.

I did try multiple types and brands of pull ups with my son. As he is 8 years old now, even the largest of GoodNites do leak. As he fits within the weight/sizing range, they did leak fairly often, more than 50 percent of the time. It's unfortunate that Huggies made a great fitting product but just not enough absorbent for my son.
I've also tried UnderJams and other store and youth brands. While some had enough absorbency, the for was horrible so of course they still leaked.

The diapers I have for him are the Tranquility Slimline youth diapers. I have tried teaching him to put them on himself with no luck. He has difficulty getting them on and the tapes placed on so it fits the way it is supposed too. The babysitter has tried several different way of getting his diaper on in a way to preserve his dignity. I've had him lay down in the diaper and pull the front up while I or the babysitter do the tapes. This is easier said than done, the diaper still needs major adjustment so currently the diapering is done in the standing up position. This is the only way he can be diapered so that it won't leak throughout the night. Jasmine (the babysitter) has told me and I believe and trust her, that she has tried many ways too in order to preserve his dignity. He holds the diaper up between his legs while she does the tapes and fits the diaper.

I will try the GoodNites again and maybe somehow protect his mattress so in the event he leaks, at least the mattress is better protected. I will try a few different types of pull ups to that I can find. I've did a little looking around and found a website, HDIS that has sample packs of pull ups for a good price. One problem is finding youth pull ups, most are adult sized.

I just can't justify the cost of pull ups if they don't work. Most of them are not cheap to purchase so I feel In wasting my money, my son is still sleeping in a wet bed and I'm still washing all the bedding constantly. It's frustrating to say the least and aggravating to have these problems.

I completely understand about my son being diapered by a young girl but Jasmine is mature for her age. She's Red Cross babysitter certified and I've known her and her family for years as they live in our street. My son and Jasmine have known each other for 6 years since we've been neighbors. They still socialize and play together quite often. Yes, since she is now babysitting him, I've placed her in a position of authority now but to me she's the best possible solution when I need a babysitter. They've always gotten along and since my husband left us, Jasmine has treated my son like a little brother.

As for treatment, trust me, we've tried it all!! I've tried limiting drinks before bed, peeing before bedtime and medications. Nothing has ever completely cured his bedwetting.

I certainly do understand my son's embarrassment and his feeling a little humiliated about the bedwetting and about the diapering from the babysitter but honestly she's doing her best to alleviate it as well. I've tried telling him that no one, especially the babysitter does not care one bit. As far as I can tell, she has kept his bedwetting and diapers a secret too. When I've asked my son if anyone else has ever asked him about it or teased him, the answer is no, so that tells me I picked the right person to babysit.

Thank you all for your insight. I'll try making a few changes.

Try a pullup with a booster. Try a pullup until you get home, then you change him into a diaper yourself. Give him an hour later bedtime so he's more likely to be dry until you get home. Get some of the goodnites bed mats to give extra protection the sheets. Or just commit to the idea that on babysitter nights you're going to have to change the sheets by morning. These are the cost of entry to maintaining your son's sanity.

It doesn't matter what Jasmine's certifications are, you've asked a young boy to be in a humiliating situation with a former childhood playmate. The current situation is probably psychologically damaging.

i know this might sound crazy but how does he feel about his bedwetting what i did with my son was tried getting him to were diapers he begged me not to so i made a deal with him if he washed all his wet bedding and pajamas at least every other day he didn't have to were diapers he happily agreed and i went out and got him some footed sleepers i got them for 2 reasons i thay keep him warm even when wet and to thay don't look wet when thay are soaked so he was would not get cought in wet pajamas if someone came over un expected before he changed as some times he doesn't change till after he has breakfast i know it sounds wearied but he has been a very happy kid ever since we started this now its not a nightmare for him and he feels better about it its not the best way to handle it i know that but it is what works for my son and me all i care about is he a happy kid

sorry he was 9 when we started handling it this way it has been a year now and he is a hpaay kid

Twice now when he's needed a babysitter past his bedtime I'm doing the GoodNites with a booster in them. So far the situation has improved a little. I do have Jasmine, the babysitter get his GoodNite ready for him. She sticks the booster inside the Goodnite and gives it to my son to put on. Afterwards she double checks that he's actually wearing it.
According to my son, he's feeling a little bit better about it. He's glad obviously he's no longer having to be diapered. Other nights he's still put into a diaper though. I haven't had any leaking yet which is great. If that continues, I may be lucky enough to go back to just using the GoodNites every night on him. I am hoping so.

That's great! Sounds like the best possible outcome, given the situation.

So far it is worki g out well. Jasmine babysat last night again. I did not get home until 10:30 so got Jayden ready for bed. It's been 3 nights now that he's worn the GoodNites to bed and no major problems. The second night he had some dampness around the one leg opening but didn't really get his bedding wet. So I am watching but nit concerned yet. I did tell him that once Jasmine tells him its time ti wear the GoodNite, he has abide by it and out it on. He has to also keep it on until the next morning. If he fails to do this, its back to the diapers on the nights Jasmine is here. I did tell him he can help ensure this too by limiting his drinks before bedtime and using the toilet right before bedtime.
So far a few embarrassing moments has been avoided. Of course he's still a little embarrassed that hes wearing pull ups to bed and that a "girl" knows this and but I've told him, its much better than the diapers were. I do get him up earlier in the mirnings he's wearing the pull ups just so he goes in the toilet. Other nights when hes in the diapers, I'm not so concerned. Jasmine also told me shes a little bit relieved now too, she said she was aware of his embarrassment over her diapering him and relieved that situation no longer takes place.
Compromise is working fir now and everyone is a little happier.
Thank you all fir yiur input. I wish you all a happy holiday season.
Emily

So happy for you and your son that things are working out so well.
He must be feeling so much better about everything.
Even with being told it is not their fault and it is a condition that is out of their control it is amazing how self-conscious someone that has a bed wetting problem becomes and it happens very young as well because it is often seen as something that babies do.
Even at eight he would be feeling embarrassed and very self-conscious about who knows and sees him and diapers him.
It is just so nice the way you have handled this and provided him options that make things easier and much better for all of you.
Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season.

Mikezx1214,
Thank you so much!! I hope you have a very wonderful Holiday Season too!

Well I went out in a date Friday night. Jasmine was over babysitting and well, my son had a leaker Saturday morning. His bed wetting leaked out of his pull up, even with the pad inside. It wasn't bad and it looked lie it leaked out the top of the pull up. I got everything cleaned up after breakfast. I did have him help me clean up. Washed the bedding and the mattress protector. Thankfully only his sheet and one blanket were wettened and not the comforter. Jasmi e had the booster pad in the pull up and in the right place. The back half of the pull up and pad surprisingly was dry mostly.
I talked to my son last night before bed about "guy parts", his penis. I told him he need to try our best to keep his penis pointed down, not up. As an experiment and a trial run so he undestod what I am talking about, I put him to bed last night in the pull up with the pad. I made sure his penis was pointed downward after he was in the pull up. This morning, boom! Bed dry and bedding still dry after a night time accident. Not sure if "aim" of penis did it or not but think I'm the future, we'll have to work on that.
Well thank you all for the ideas and support. Enjoy your Sunday all!
Emily

Yeah, speaking from experience, the angle of the dangle is definitely important to the effectiveness of the diaper. You always want to point down. I also don't know where you're situating the pad, but if it's not shifted forward, it should be. Boys don't need the padding between the legs, so much as in the front.