Bedwetting Support Group
Bedwetting (or nocturnal enuresis or sleepwetting) is involuntary urination while asleep. It is the normal state of affairs in infancy, but can be a source of embarrassment when it persists into school age or the teen or adult years. Find others who are coping with a bedwetting problem and share your experiences and questions.
Hi all,
Ryan14 recently made a post on the "Adult bedwetting group" thread that I thought raised some really good points, both on the issues of child vs. adult bedwetting, and on the similarities and differences between bedwetting and incontinence. I thought those might be good issues for group discussion so I'm posting some of the relevant parts of our discussion here to see what you all think!
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On 07/08/09, 12:44am ryan14 wrote:
hey adam , can you ask everyone there if i can join the adult bedwetting group as well ? ... thats why i joined in here as well as incont. . to learn from everyone else . ill stay here for a few days and see what you all decide .
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[My response:]
Ryan,
I think many of the members of the adult bedwetting group are also members of the "regular" bedwetting group, so they have probably seen your message there too as I did. I'm not sure how to answer you, to be honest. We made the adult bedwetting group so that the many of us here who are adults could take our discussions about the adult aspect of the problem away from the main board, so that we wouldn't get in the way of people who wanted to discuss the more common problem of childhood bedwetting, parenting kids who wet the bed, etc. Some of us (me included) still contribute on the childhood topics when we feel like we have something to add, but this way we have a page to talk about some of the unique challenges that come with wetting the bed as an adult. Some of these things include "grown-up" topics like dating, relationships, marriage, dealing with business travel, etc. Would you feel comfortable in a group like that? That being said, I think if you would feel comfortable and if you participated in a mature and thoughtful way, I don't think anyone would see your age *in itself* as a barrier to being part of the group.
However, I also wonder (after reading your profile) whether the bedwetting page, as opposed to the incontinence page, is really the right one for you. They are really two very different topics -- one (incontinence) is for those who have little to no bladder control at all as a more or less permanent condition, and their primary focus is how to manage the condition to keep clean and healthy and avoid embarrassment -- the other (bedwetting) is more about those of us who have "normal" bladder control most of the time (or maybe just slightly weaker than normal) but have a problem with accidents at night. For us one of the main issues is how we can limit or reduce our number of accidents, which most people who are incontinent are not able to do. There is, of course, some overlap between the two, and you will find postings in the bedwetting group (both the main and adult groups) which in all honesty should really be in the incontinence group instead. I actually don't really see a problem with an individual being in both groups, so long as you realize that in general they really deal with two different (though somewhat overlapping) sets of challenges. I, for example, am in both the bedwetting and incontinence groups, but I participate in the incontinence group much less frequently because many of the issues discussed there really don't apply to me as one who only wets the bed at night -- and the reverse could be true for someone else just as easily.
I guess the main question I would ask you is -- is the reason for your incontinence something temporary or uncertain where you still think there might be a chance of working on it and getting better? Or is it a result of a permanent illness or injury where you're pretty sure you will have to cope with it for the rest of your life? In either case I think you would fit well in the incontinence group, but in the second case you might have a harder time relating to many of those in the bedwetting group, since the focus for many of us is on trying (as best we can) to stop or at least reduce our bedwetting and become dry at night.
In the end, though, it's really your choice. If you come to the adult bedwetting group and participate in a mature and respectful manner, I don't think anyone is going to turn you away. It's just a matter of figuring out where you can find the most meaningful support for where you are at in your life right now, and focusing your participation on the places that you think will do you the most good at the present time of your life.
-----
So..... what do the rest of y'all think? :)
Ryan14 recently made a post on the "Adult bedwetting group" thread that I thought raised some really good points, both on the issues of child vs. adult bedwetting, and on the similarities and differences between bedwetting and incontinence. I thought those might be good issues for group discussion so I'm posting some of the relevant parts of our discussion here to see what you all think!
-------------------------------------
On 07/08/09, 12:44am ryan14 wrote:
hey adam , can you ask everyone there if i can join the adult bedwetting group as well ? ... thats why i joined in here as well as incont. . to learn from everyone else . ill stay here for a few days and see what you all decide .
--------------
[My response:]
Ryan,
I think many of the members of the adult bedwetting group are also members of the "regular" bedwetting group, so they have probably seen your message there too as I did. I'm not sure how to answer you, to be honest. We made the adult bedwetting group so that the many of us here who are adults could take our discussions about the adult aspect of the problem away from the main board, so that we wouldn't get in the way of people who wanted to discuss the more common problem of childhood bedwetting, parenting kids who wet the bed, etc. Some of us (me included) still contribute on the childhood topics when we feel like we have something to add, but this way we have a page to talk about some of the unique challenges that come with wetting the bed as an adult. Some of these things include "grown-up" topics like dating, relationships, marriage, dealing with business travel, etc. Would you feel comfortable in a group like that? That being said, I think if you would feel comfortable and if you participated in a mature and thoughtful way, I don't think anyone would see your age *in itself* as a barrier to being part of the group.
However, I also wonder (after reading your profile) whether the bedwetting page, as opposed to the incontinence page, is really the right one for you. They are really two very different topics -- one (incontinence) is for those who have little to no bladder control at all as a more or less permanent condition, and their primary focus is how to manage the condition to keep clean and healthy and avoid embarrassment -- the other (bedwetting) is more about those of us who have "normal" bladder control most of the time (or maybe just slightly weaker than normal) but have a problem with accidents at night. For us one of the main issues is how we can limit or reduce our number of accidents, which most people who are incontinent are not able to do. There is, of course, some overlap between the two, and you will find postings in the bedwetting group (both the main and adult groups) which in all honesty should really be in the incontinence group instead. I actually don't really see a problem with an individual being in both groups, so long as you realize that in general they really deal with two different (though somewhat overlapping) sets of challenges. I, for example, am in both the bedwetting and incontinence groups, but I participate in the incontinence group much less frequently because many of the issues discussed there really don't apply to me as one who only wets the bed at night -- and the reverse could be true for someone else just as easily.
I guess the main question I would ask you is -- is the reason for your incontinence something temporary or uncertain where you still think there might be a chance of working on it and getting better? Or is it a result of a permanent illness or injury where you're pretty sure you will have to cope with it for the rest of your life? In either case I think you would fit well in the incontinence group, but in the second case you might have a harder time relating to many of those in the bedwetting group, since the focus for many of us is on trying (as best we can) to stop or at least reduce our bedwetting and become dry at night.
In the end, though, it's really your choice. If you come to the adult bedwetting group and participate in a mature and respectful manner, I don't think anyone is going to turn you away. It's just a matter of figuring out where you can find the most meaningful support for where you are at in your life right now, and focusing your participation on the places that you think will do you the most good at the present time of your life.
-----
So..... what do the rest of y'all think? :)
scutterbug
Hi Adam, I read your post with interest. I am new to DS and even more new to Bedwetting group. Is this one just for adults? I went on because of my grandchild that I am raising. My son was a bed wetter and we finally got the "buzzer" which did work for him. I had heard about a medication but the pediatrician said there were side effects and that also it doesn't "fix" it, it just stops it the night you take it, like you could choose to take it all the time or use it for a sleepover or vacation away from home etc. I din't pursue it because of the side effects and also she NEVER sleeps over anywhere yet.
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