Beating Trich Community Group
You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Trichotillomania, that big, long word that is the bane of our world. With knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. Lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.
Just found this on the other site:
"One of the most common problems we come across when we decide we are ready to become pull free, is what to do with our hands. It is important to try and establish an alternative behavior to replace those times we would normally sit and pull.
So what can we do ? Well quite a lot actually. Sometimes the simplest of things work wonders. A lot of people find they pull more when watching tv or on the phone. Often these situations can't be avoided, so having something else in place helps. For example :-
~~wearing gloves
~~plasters (band aids) around your fingers
~~play with Play Doh, worry beads, pipe cleaners
~~wet your hair
~~keep the fingers moist with moisturizing lotion
~~wear a hat
When the urges are great it is a good idea to take yourself away from the situation. Distract the mind as well as your hands. eg:-
~~go for a walk, it doesn't matter where.
~~why not go and build a snowman in the winter
~~or splash in the puddles when it rains, your inner child will love it
~~do yoga, relaxation exercises.
~~take a bath with lots of bubbles, pamper yourself
~~find a new hobby, cross stitching, candle making, bracelet making. anything that keeps the hands occupied.
~~pick a subject you would like to know more about and research it on the internet
~~pick an object in the room and list 20 things it can be used for (I include the kids in this one)
~~post on the message board. Interacting with others is great therapy.
It is also important to remember that most of us will have setbacks. It doesn't make you a weak person. It is part of the learning and healing process we all have to go through. If you do slip and pull again, put it behind you. It is in the past. Forgive yourself and start afresh. Stay positive. Reward yourself for the times you do not pull, avoid punishment for the times you do.
These are just a few suggestions. They will not work for everyone, but never give up hope. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. There are more hints and tips in the forums so pop in and have a look. Together we can stop Trich in it's tracks.
"One of the most common problems we come across when we decide we are ready to become pull free, is what to do with our hands. It is important to try and establish an alternative behavior to replace those times we would normally sit and pull.
So what can we do ? Well quite a lot actually. Sometimes the simplest of things work wonders. A lot of people find they pull more when watching tv or on the phone. Often these situations can't be avoided, so having something else in place helps. For example :-
~~wearing gloves
~~plasters (band aids) around your fingers
~~play with Play Doh, worry beads, pipe cleaners
~~wet your hair
~~keep the fingers moist with moisturizing lotion
~~wear a hat
When the urges are great it is a good idea to take yourself away from the situation. Distract the mind as well as your hands. eg:-
~~go for a walk, it doesn't matter where.
~~why not go and build a snowman in the winter
~~or splash in the puddles when it rains, your inner child will love it
~~do yoga, relaxation exercises.
~~take a bath with lots of bubbles, pamper yourself
~~find a new hobby, cross stitching, candle making, bracelet making. anything that keeps the hands occupied.
~~pick a subject you would like to know more about and research it on the internet
~~pick an object in the room and list 20 things it can be used for (I include the kids in this one)
~~post on the message board. Interacting with others is great therapy.
It is also important to remember that most of us will have setbacks. It doesn't make you a weak person. It is part of the learning and healing process we all have to go through. If you do slip and pull again, put it behind you. It is in the past. Forgive yourself and start afresh. Stay positive. Reward yourself for the times you do not pull, avoid punishment for the times you do.
These are just a few suggestions. They will not work for everyone, but never give up hope. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. There are more hints and tips in the forums so pop in and have a look. Together we can stop Trich in it's tracks.
it is made of a rough woven metal and has a very interesting, rough texture
i am not sure where to suggest buying one but it might be something that you could find online...
when i really have the urge to feel the "prick" of new hairs, this rough texture helps a lot
also, it is something i can wear every day and have in public and no one notices if i am playing with it in my hands....
http://dailystrength.org/c/Trichotillomania-Hair-Pulling/recs/2579-keeping-busy-list
I am a lash and brow puller as well (20 years now), and i just started doing behavioural therapy, and i am meeting up with trich support groups every week. some of the things that i've learned for myself recently, i'd like to share with you 8)
firstly, you DO have a pattern. it may be random, erratic, and here and there... but it's there. you're in college now and you're probably really busy, so it's hard to really sit down and focus, but give it a whirl 8) one of the biggest ways of fighting this is to be totally aware of it... i'm sure you get into the pulling "trance" where you're just kind of focused on that one hair for who knows how long... etc... you have to learn to pull yourself out of those. it's tough!! oh boy!! try keeping a little diary or a notepad, write down what you were doing and how you were pulling, where you were pulling (location, like in bed, or at work, etc). i did that for a while (not so much now) and it helped me to really know my weak points (like reading. i can't read without pulling). i also learned that my life is a little too erratic to keep a diary for too long, but doing it for a few weeks really helped.
like you, i'm not on meds (by choice, tho). i also tweeze. i convince myself i'm just grooming, almost every time. and then the occasional must-go hairs that are just too hard to get with my nails, or curly ones that are so distracting i can't work, etc. sound familiar yet? 8)
you said you've already tried gloves, and they worked for three days but then that was it. well, guess what? they worked for 3 days!!! that is actually a good thing! you are able to go that long. maybe next time you will go longer. don't lose hope, that is really important. build upon that. we all struggle with this, but as we get better, we still stumble on our way. just because on day #3 you had to take those gloves off, doesn't mean you failed. you made it longer than i have with gloves, and i'm feeling pretty good about my progress so far... ;) but don't stop with gloves, try other things along with the gloves.
i'll tell you what i'm trying to do - i'm building an army of behavioural therapy techniques that hopefully will curb my pulling.
1. i've got gloves. i'm considering getting more gloves and just leaving them in random places that i normally sit. because when i start touching my hairs, i'm about 99% too late to go looking for them, so they have to be right there.
2. i really love my tweezers. i stuck them in a container of water and stuck them in the freezer 1 day and 14 hours ago (and counting). i was starting to groom again, and i just said WTF, if i really, reaaaaalllllllllyyyyyy need them, i can thaw them out in hot water.... doesn't take that long... but maybe long enough to find something else to distract me, or let the urge pass...
3. i've got band aids. those i definitely have everywhere i sit. i have to tell you, some suck more than others, but you actually do get used to them. doing things isn't really that hard. and if they come off, put more on. keep band aids in places where you're likely to lose them with water, like the bathroom and kitchen. easy to replace.
4. i play with my rings. it gives my hands something to do. i have pretty fun rings 8) i know other people that play with rubber bands, silly putty (digging their nails into that feels good sometimes, i think), hair bands, etc.
5. i forgive myself. it may take me many many days of building up just enough hairs to have even what i would call a lot (like 5-10 or so in spots here and there), and in one or two days of "trance"-like pulling, it's all gone... but you have to give yourself credit for what you DID accomplish. i haven't been doing all of these techniques for long, and i am in therapy as well (dealing with stress, anxiety, etc). tho i may not have many hairs to show for it, i do notice a difference. i am not pulling my hairs as often - not for lack of trying! but with band aids on my hands, my tweezers in the freezer, and my gloves staring at me, making me feel all guilty about not wearing them... it's definitely having an impact on my pulling! i am hoping to make my pull-free stretch a little longer next time, and the time after that, and so on... taking the time to notice what you CAN do will give you strength to take it to another level. and it's ok to falter. things happen, life is stressful. when you're feeling rough, you should also...
6.type!! in case it wasn't obvious, that's a good one for me. post here. there's plenty of people who will give you encouragement here when you're needing it.
have you checked if your campus offers counseling for students? i was able to get a therapist for myself thru campus services, and they did prescribe meds. i personally don't want to take them (i've done quite a few), but if you do go in that direction, keep in mind everyone is different. what works for one person may not for another. i know someone taking 2 meds, and she's doing very well (one counteracted the side effects of the other).
you've taken a great step connecting to this community here. you've already succeeded with gloves at least a few times. you're taking action, and that is great 8) keep these things in mind, keep your awareness on yourself as much as you can. it will take time to re-learn how to not pull hair - after all, it took a long time for this habit to build. patience and time
i did want to chime in with one more technique that is helping me not to pull now. and because czychick is so unbelievably awesome, i'm imitating her and doing a cut&paste of another post of mine! here it is:
right now i am wearing strips of first aid medical cloth tape (the type that you use to stick on gauze pads to wounds), and i am finding it to be soooo comfortable compared to everything else! why: because i washed my hands and they stayed on and now they are soft and nicely contoured to all of my fingernails. because they are not as clunky as band aids, or thick as gloves. because the cloth tape is super stretchy AND breathable. because it ain't coming off till i say so! because i am typing right now and not having ANY problems. because i can still pick up a pen and write, use a fork and eat, read a book and flip pages, and when i touch any part of me, it feels soft and gentle and is just a nice reminder that i'm doing good (awareness is a great thing). for serious, this is so comfy i may never take them off!
for me (and i suspect for a lot of us), my pulling always starts with just a little touching and petting of hairs here and there. some innocent, mostly unaware fiddling while i'm doing other things (like thinking about what to type here!). i never intend to pull, and i tell myself i won't.... but i do... but if i manage to NOT TOUCH in the first place, i end up not pulling.
i have ended up taking off my gloves, or my band aids have fallen off, or the toys i play with are not around, and in the end i do pull - not as much as i used to because of the barriers, but because they were not comfortable i always took advantage to get that one hair here and there, while i replaced band aids, or did things i couldn't do with gloves, etc. i'd always find a little "reason" to do it. well, this cloth tape is giving me no good reason right now!! while i don't expect it will make me pull-free (well, of course a part of me hopes!), it's the most non-intrusive behavioural technique i have used so far. i'm able to do pretty much everything i always do. except pull. 8)
i really wanted to share that with the group because it's a revelation to me. i hope that maybe some of you guys can try it and see if that feels good for you, and maybe it will help with your recovery.
*hugs* to all. 8)
What I have found is that I pull when I am just doing things like watching T.V or when I am on the computer. Sooo...for the first time ever, I confronted my bald patch. I took my hair out, and I grabbed my camera and I took ten photos of my bald patch. I then printed these photos off, blew them and I sellotaped it to the side of the T.V, my computer and just any area in my home where I am most likely to just sit and subconciously pull.
Anyway, just seeing my bald patch CONSTANTLY shocked me into realising how bald I actually am, and I would then feel less of an urge to pull as I stare at a picture of the damage I have caused.
A week later, I would then take another photo and put it next to the first one and it would make me pleased to see that my hair is growing and this would discourage me to pull as I was making progress and had worked so hard.
I now have five photos next to each other in different areas of my house. I have found that the visual progress is encouragement in itself..and also the longer I go without pulling..the less intense the urge is...and it seems to be getting easier.
Anyway, so far this seems to be working for me..so I just thought I would share it with you all.
"This is kind of extreme - and I'm hoping I don't go broke soon - but my therapist recommended starting a 'hair-pulling' fund. Every time I pull, I have to put a significant amount in - for me, its' $20 - and I only get to spend it/get it back if I go pull-free for a certain period of time. If I don't, I have to donate it to charity.
This has actually worked better for me than any physical barriers, probably because I'm so darn stingy. But every time your hand goes up to your hair, you have to stop and think: "Is this worth $20?" Usually, it's not. "
I also do yoga now and that works immensely. It keeps you calm and relieves tension, stress and anger. :)
You pulling friend,
Jessica.
******
I'm glad that it helps to divert your hands from your hair but I would like to suggest that you find a hand busy toy/tool that you don't pick at. You need to break yourself from doing that action. I'm just afraid that if you rely on shredding the yarn and you don't have it near you that you will go back to pulling at your hair.
Try making jewerly, or some other craft (knitting, rag rugs, etc) bonus is that you'll have lovely gifts to give for B-days and Christmas. Carry a worry stone or wear jewerly (bracelets, rings) that you can twist. Give the list another read and see what appeals to you.