Hi,

I’ve spent a few weeks reading some of your posts and becoming inspired by everyone’s honesty and willingness to fight the urges to pull. I want to stop pulling and I want to lose the shame, guilt, and anxiety it creates.

So, today I’m going to start my first ever Pull Free A Thon. I need to stop and am committed to stopping. And writing this here with your encouragement will certainly help.

I started pulling in middle school, maybe around age 13? I’m now 26. That means I’ve been pulling for half of my life. Ahh! I’ve never thought of it in that way! It frustrates me so much! I’ve always pulled my eyebrows, though as some of you described the urges come in waves of intensity. I’ve had some healthy growth periods, and then other times of shortening, thinning, to non-existent eyebrows. I hate the pictures of those times. I want to burn them all or deny them. Yet, I feel myself falling into another period of extended pulling and I want to stop it. I don’t want this any more.

In high school I met with a counselor, but I didn’t feel many benefits from the meetings. She focused on big events in my past, assuming they were the cause, rather than helping with just the daily urge to pull which is so hard to fight. She ended my meetings with her just saying, “A few hairs a day isn’t bad, you seem happy enough.” I guess my problem is I can fake it pretty well, pretending to be happy or healthy, while I’m sometimes overwhelmed with the stress my pulling causes.

But despite my best efforts to pretend I’m OK, I still pull. I can remember the few people who have asked me about it, bringing out my shame and confusion while I try to stop and be healthy. It’s so hard for me to talk about, but I don’t want to do this or be embarrassed anymore. I’m a graduate student, so my days are often stressful with many assignments. I want to be able to cope and overcome without pulling.

So, here I go. Panthera’s Pull Free A Thon begins today!