Friends really don't understand. Actually no one does unless they have walked in your shoes. Good thing for this group, where we are all basically the same. I am not new here, but have been away for a while. I too have a friend that used to tell me that I was taking too much. I went to Mayo clinic in Roch. MN, and they took me off all of my pain meds. I went through some terrible withdrawels,and ended up in the hospital three times. It was terrible and they treated me like I was a street drug addict. Come to find out the meds really did not make me feel much better. I ended up having a third back surgery last Sept. I am still in a lot of pain. I am at a loss. I go back to my surgeon in Jan., and will see what he recommends.
As for your so called friend, tell her that she has no right to judge and that she does not have a clue what you are going through.
Hope I helped you some...Selina

It gets very frustrating sometimes especially when we are criticized for taking meds that we need to funciton the way that others do pain free. I try to chalk it up to the fact that my friends that respond this way to pain meds aren't trying to be maliscious, they just don't have a clue. So I try not to bring it up unless absolutely necessary. My family understands- thank god, so I am very lucky for that. My heart goes out to you, it's so difficult to feel misunderstood by those close to you.

I do not have many friends but the ones i do have support me, they do not disbelieve me or say things like that to me. I guess i am lucky. I have heard others talk about stuff like this and they talk about the people being addicts and things like that. I really hate hearing others talk about a so called friend like that when they are not there, i always say something like if you had a car wreck and you got bad burns do you think that is a good enough reason to take pain meds? they always answer well yes!! so i say well people with nerve damage have simular pain to burn victims. I would be less judgemental of your friend and a bit more supportive. With friends like you i guess she would rely more on her pain meds!! You can not let this bother you, i know it is hard since you have considered this women a friend for so long, but apparently she is not much of one. You know in your heart if what you are doing is wrong and trust me you are not,. I think we would all love to be pain free and not have to worry about taking meds. at all. but that is not the case. I do what makes me feel better enough to participate in my family now matter how little it seems i can do at least i am doing it with my family. Please do not let her upset you.

That's tricky. I have to admit, I don't usually tell people about my huge supply of hydrocodone. I don't even like it and only take it when, like you, I can't get up and walk, or if the pain is so bad it makes me cry. (I want to have surgery, but we have no insurance). Here's the thing: I've watched just enough daytime TV talk shows that I myself am scared of using these long-term and getting addicted. Ok, plus I have 1 good friend and 1 family member who are addicted to pain meds and it is so sad. I'm not saying you are risking addiction--I am saying there must be a cultural stigma attached to pain meds these days. Maybe since Rush Limbaugh and his oxycontin, I don't know. But especially if you are a woman living in a middle class neighborhood, I think, anymore you mention pain meds and people wonder about you. This is me speculating, but since I am so hypervigilant about my pills myself, that makes me wonder what other people think.

And if I'm right..... Well, I have no idea how those of us who desperately NEED pain meds for their intended purpose can make the rest of the world understand. Go on Oprah or Dr. Phil? If you aren't addicted, it's considered a non-story!

you find new friends who understand you and your condition or you'll loose your mind baby

Well I take "Norcco" 10/325 and tried it with tramadol for get it now I take the norcco with 10 mg vallium every 8 hours and 15 mg of Opana every 12 and I am virtually pain free wich after 10 back surgery then suffering a broken self fusion at T-11 T-12 & L-1 and now being confined to a wheelchair is amazing to me it is a great combo of medicine that works for me!

NEVER tell ANYONE but your dr. anything about pain meds.If you do, it will come back to bite you, big time!

Hi! I hope you can find support in this group of friends online, the way I have! I have found that usually only others who have experienced what we have understand our trials and tribulations. Don't ever let others tell you that what your experiencing is okay. It's not. Pain is a tremendous thing...my cousin (a firefighter) nearly burned to death on a call. I can only imagine his pain. At one point he thought he was Jesus & disappeared into the desert. Don't be afraid to share your needs and thoughts with others, you never know when you will make a connection!

Me again! What I mean to say is you deserve to be pain-free, as much as you can. I think pain is every bit as destructive to your health as any drug can be. I only wish I had drug advice. I've found that vicodin & advil help me alot. But that's just me! Keep advocating for your health & well-being! :)

To starbuck... I highly doubt any middle class white woman will be stared down or asked questions. The worst possible situation, I think, is to be twenty, white and male. I've seen countless doctors for my back, hip, and neck pain that has persisted and worsened now for two or three years. I can only wonder when my back/body degenerates so much that some major damage can finally show on an x-ray. Until then, doctors keep pushing useless meds on me thinking im depressed, have adhd, psychotic etc... I could replace four, five scripts that just keep my head straight from all the pain with something that actually would slightly reduce it... But guess what. Theres no way a twenty year old kid has pain. What can I do but suffer in my broken body until finally someone does something. This is my life. Suffer, hurt, no smiles. I want everything painted black. Theres no more color. Only suffering.

I totally get you. My dad has had mercury poisoning, dmps chelater immuno suppresion, multiple car crashes, slipped discs, etc... I can only imagine what he is going through and only recently I finally "understand."

I would never wish daily pain, in any form, on anyone. And doctors who do not help us are condemning the individual to continued and worsening quality of life.

Hate them all. Do I have to start growing p.somniferum and extracting codeine to synth into hydrocodone, or more?

Tramadol does nothing alone. Tried when I found it. I bet a combo of instant tramadol, plus instant oxymorphone plus 24 hour basline reduction with both would be incredible. Life how it should be and was.

Oh how people just take their "normalacy" for granted.

I have family members who tell me that I can't be in that much pain, I'm alright; don't think about it; pray about it; etc....I did what I had to do, I took the meds, had the shots and now seeking more relief. I have learned that if the person haven't experience pain on your level they won't understand you. The only person I tell is my doctor and therapist-they get paid to hear my problems and care about me; I can truly say my Dr is concern for my health and my therapist is a christian and he gives me double the support and I am thankful for that! Don't worry about those who don't understand, you can't spend your day in pain and trying to make others understand it. I wish you pain-free days!

adding to the huge reply on friends and families perceptions of you taking meds:-unfortunate human beings who HAVE to take painkillers to lead a some what normal life and have limited mobility and NOT have to rely on others as much to do everything for them....even the simplest thing like asking for help to leave the trash bin out-cuz its too heavy. It is degrading, demoralising, consuming, and it rocks the very soul of your being chronic pain!.....IE i get comments about my weight loss cus of the durogesic patch i take for pain-which makes you not want to eat!- now i dont even let anyone lower my chi or live in my head rent free...If they pass comment i say " Listen 1)-when you have a toothache- you are miserable and reach for painkillers right?- 2) If you dont get to a dentist to sort the pain within a week you would go mad and be eating the vico's like smarties or M and Ms!- which they would..that is acute pain. I focus and pray that i can push myself to get out of bed everyday and lead a some what normal life and the meds only shave a bit off the constant pain that everyone here experiences on a day to day 365 days a year!. So pat yourself on the back and try and keep as positive in the face of what you are going through ok. ie- I have returned to college last year P Time to study healthcare to hopefully become a radiologist someday. Due to knowing so much about the spine now lol- certain people said "you will never be able to study anatomy and physiology wiped out on vicos and a morphine patch!- that drove me on even more to do it......and i passed the 1st year and couldnt wait to tell them- that i got the grades to get into college the following year lol (wiped out on meds as i am so called stigmatised) a drug addict takes opiates to get high- i take them to function and help with chronic back pain- there is nothing fancy about them- headaches- constipation- and dullness of your dopamine levels.....but thank god- they help with pain management- or i would be relying on bags of frozen peas every hour to numb the lumbar region of my back. I am past the stage of what people think of me and their perceptions.....my main aim is to use whatever tools i can to maintain my condition ( sports therapist/massage/TENS/ Inversion Table/ Osteopathy/meditation/ and meds. and stretching when i can endure it.

So take them with a pinch of salt and try and live your life as best you can, in the situation which as i can see...we are all faced with. PAIN

I wish their was some sort of pain ometer machine invented- like there is a ECG for the heart- or for diabetes/ etc.machine to check your heart/ MRI CAT scanners etc ya know?
when the GP asks you "what is your pain level on a 1 to 10??????? and then gives you the whole speeel about addiction etc.......I say just look at my MRi scans and write the script and ill be on my way......

good luck to you all folks

aka spondo

I know there is such a "pain-o-meter" that some Finnish doctors created a long time ago. I can get the names if you would like. But here, I bet, the FDA would and DEA would find a way to invalidate the device because then pain levels would actually be validated and not simply titrated up or even denied treatment for years, even decades. "Strong" somniferum derivatives have been used for depression treatment up until the 1950s AS WELL as other conditions and somehow modern medicine begrudginly accepts their use because, "nothing else works" for pain. But even thats bull. Check out SNC80, a delta agonist... Among other things.

yes my parents complain, but i wont!!! have surgery. It doesnt work on everybody. Some ppl get worse after surgery. I wouldnt likely be one to get better. id probably be one to get worse.

to ya all- think long and hard b4 surgery.....i was inches from signing the form and going under the knife. Get 3 surgeons opinons and past patients that they performed the same op as you on. Ask them have they heard of FBSS(Failed back surgery syndrome)????? My surgeons face drained pure white and then told me "oh well you see, the bone might not fuse, the hardware screws may come off the bone, you may be paralysed, it wont cure your pain, its 60/40% whether it will work?" I said "WHAT!!!!!!

I said "oh i see, doesnt look to good then" I think ill stick with the alternative options until i really need to get the 5th lumbar fused when it finally slips away" I use an osteopath, sports therapist/ TENS/ heat /ice packs/ Inversion table everyday.......and have been advised by the best osteopath in the UK and Ireland dont get the op my friend......keep doing what your doing above.....

Its expensive.....but i drive a heap of a car, improvise on spending and my back care now comes first before anything else.

plz try the inversion table cus the insurance companies now have come up with this FX2000 machine that is remote control and you go through your insurance in the states.$$$$$$$$...you can buy the same machine for 200 dollars @ a big 5 store or even KMART and you have your own @ home.......

great invention...the greeks used to hang people upside down 100s of years ago when they had back problems to reverse the pressure and gravity.....I use it ten mins in the morning and ten @ night- elongates the spine and fills the disk space with nutrients and water and stretches the errector spiniae muscles that run the whole way up each side of your spine.....

take care :)

wish you all a less pain free day