Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
OK, I don't come to this group very often because I am busy (just as all of you are), and I really don't have much to discuss as far as my son's autism. But, I decided to come by here today out of boredom- he just started school, and I have no idea what to do with myself while he's gone.
So, here's the deal- I know that vaccines did NOT have anything to do with MY son being autistic. At least not the one which that bimbo Jenny McCarthy is talking about. My son started showing signs of autism at around 1 year (actually, now that I think about it, he has ALWAYS showed signs, such as the obsession with fans and wheels- I'm talking 3 weeks old). My son didn't get his MMR shot until AFTER his 2nd birthday because we didn't have health insurance for him. He was autistic long before that!!!
So, for all of you who think they should NOT vaccinate their kids- why don't you try googling pictures of what these diseases look like??? Why don't you just go ahead and read up on what these diseases do to the body, and all of the pain and suffering associated with them??? There is a REASON why scientists and doctors work for YEARS to find a vaccine for diseases!!! Also, have any of you actually READ the CDC's report on vaccines and autism??? They found NO evidence whatsoever!!! People just assume it's vaccines because they feel that they need to put the blame somewhere and refuse to admit that sometimes things just happen.
Autism has been around a LOT longer than any vaccine. Why is it more common now? It's probably because these days, people are more willing to look into behavioral problems from a medical standpoint. In the past, people with severe autism were institutionalized, and people with Asperger's were considered social outcasts. People who fall in the middle, like my son, were considered to be 'bad kids'. Only the severe cases were ever diagnosed.
My husband was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, shortly after our son's diagnosis. So, perhaps it's a genetic predisposition? Think back into your families history. Think back in your child's life. When we were at the appointment with the neurodevelopemental pediatrician, she was asking me- and my mother (who came along for support), hundreds of questions. For many of them, we said, "Yes, but his father is like that too. He's just like his dad." But, his dad is just like someone else in his family. My husband's great-grandfather. They were all like that. My son just happens to be more severe. His great-grandfather didn't get the vaccines we got today. He was never diagnosed with Asperger's or autism, but it was definately there according to my husband's family.
Why is Jonathan more severe than my husband and his great-grandfather? Who knows? But it had nothing to do with any vaccine.
I say- fine. If it's proven to be from vaccines, and so far research shows otherwise, I will STILL vaccinate my children. I have done my own research. I have looked into the diseases which my son, and all of your children, are vaccinated for. No thank you. I am not going to watch my children get sick, suffer from lesions on their bodies, and watch their little bodies rot away, and let them suffer until they finally die. I would much rather deal with the struggles of autism. I welcome the ear-piercing screeches, the stares from ignorant strangers, the unpredictable behavior, the obsession over routine, the lining up of toys, the tantrums which put huge holes in the walls (we seem to buy more drywall and paint than a construction company!). I welcome autism, and all that comes with it. So long as it means that MY children won't suffer a horrible death from a disease which could have been prevented.
My son is who he is. I give him vitamins which have helped him. I am NOT out to cure him. I am NOT out to change him. Raising him and dealing with the autism is the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do, and at times (OK, MOST of the time) it is so frustrating that I just want to lock myself in the closet and put headphones on to block it all out. But, he is my son, and I love him the way he is. I am PROUD to be his mother! My husband is PROUD to be his father! Try accepting your children the way that they are. Do things to help them to live in our society. Try therapies, vitamins, diets, whatever YOU feel is right for your child. But don't make them susceptable to disease just because you THINK it's vaccines. Doctors spend YEARS in school, and know more about our children's health than any of us. Vaccines are here for a reason.
Since it's now autumn, how about getting outside and enjoying the changing leaves and cool air? If you plan on doing that, do it from an old cemetary from the 1800's. Count the number of children's headstones. They should be easy to find- they usually have a little lamb on them, but not always. Vaccines were made because back then, many children died due to these illnesses. Is THAT where you want your kids to be? Would you rather have a DEAD child, who died because of something you could have prevented? Or, would you rather have an autistic child??? I don't know about you, but I chose to have my son right here with me. With or without autism.
(I have two journal entries on this subject- Friday, September 21, and Monday, September 24. The one from Friday talks about the diagnosis and how I feel about my child.)
So, here's the deal- I know that vaccines did NOT have anything to do with MY son being autistic. At least not the one which that bimbo Jenny McCarthy is talking about. My son started showing signs of autism at around 1 year (actually, now that I think about it, he has ALWAYS showed signs, such as the obsession with fans and wheels- I'm talking 3 weeks old). My son didn't get his MMR shot until AFTER his 2nd birthday because we didn't have health insurance for him. He was autistic long before that!!!
So, for all of you who think they should NOT vaccinate their kids- why don't you try googling pictures of what these diseases look like??? Why don't you just go ahead and read up on what these diseases do to the body, and all of the pain and suffering associated with them??? There is a REASON why scientists and doctors work for YEARS to find a vaccine for diseases!!! Also, have any of you actually READ the CDC's report on vaccines and autism??? They found NO evidence whatsoever!!! People just assume it's vaccines because they feel that they need to put the blame somewhere and refuse to admit that sometimes things just happen.
Autism has been around a LOT longer than any vaccine. Why is it more common now? It's probably because these days, people are more willing to look into behavioral problems from a medical standpoint. In the past, people with severe autism were institutionalized, and people with Asperger's were considered social outcasts. People who fall in the middle, like my son, were considered to be 'bad kids'. Only the severe cases were ever diagnosed.
My husband was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, shortly after our son's diagnosis. So, perhaps it's a genetic predisposition? Think back into your families history. Think back in your child's life. When we were at the appointment with the neurodevelopemental pediatrician, she was asking me- and my mother (who came along for support), hundreds of questions. For many of them, we said, "Yes, but his father is like that too. He's just like his dad." But, his dad is just like someone else in his family. My husband's great-grandfather. They were all like that. My son just happens to be more severe. His great-grandfather didn't get the vaccines we got today. He was never diagnosed with Asperger's or autism, but it was definately there according to my husband's family.
Why is Jonathan more severe than my husband and his great-grandfather? Who knows? But it had nothing to do with any vaccine.
I say- fine. If it's proven to be from vaccines, and so far research shows otherwise, I will STILL vaccinate my children. I have done my own research. I have looked into the diseases which my son, and all of your children, are vaccinated for. No thank you. I am not going to watch my children get sick, suffer from lesions on their bodies, and watch their little bodies rot away, and let them suffer until they finally die. I would much rather deal with the struggles of autism. I welcome the ear-piercing screeches, the stares from ignorant strangers, the unpredictable behavior, the obsession over routine, the lining up of toys, the tantrums which put huge holes in the walls (we seem to buy more drywall and paint than a construction company!). I welcome autism, and all that comes with it. So long as it means that MY children won't suffer a horrible death from a disease which could have been prevented.
My son is who he is. I give him vitamins which have helped him. I am NOT out to cure him. I am NOT out to change him. Raising him and dealing with the autism is the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do, and at times (OK, MOST of the time) it is so frustrating that I just want to lock myself in the closet and put headphones on to block it all out. But, he is my son, and I love him the way he is. I am PROUD to be his mother! My husband is PROUD to be his father! Try accepting your children the way that they are. Do things to help them to live in our society. Try therapies, vitamins, diets, whatever YOU feel is right for your child. But don't make them susceptable to disease just because you THINK it's vaccines. Doctors spend YEARS in school, and know more about our children's health than any of us. Vaccines are here for a reason.
Since it's now autumn, how about getting outside and enjoying the changing leaves and cool air? If you plan on doing that, do it from an old cemetary from the 1800's. Count the number of children's headstones. They should be easy to find- they usually have a little lamb on them, but not always. Vaccines were made because back then, many children died due to these illnesses. Is THAT where you want your kids to be? Would you rather have a DEAD child, who died because of something you could have prevented? Or, would you rather have an autistic child??? I don't know about you, but I chose to have my son right here with me. With or without autism.
(I have two journal entries on this subject- Friday, September 21, and Monday, September 24. The one from Friday talks about the diagnosis and how I feel about my child.)
As you are probably aware I believe I was poisoned by metals. I believe mercury and nickel. I actually found a marker that makes one susceptable to nickel. A Dr. Shoemaker, MD in MD has found and documented in a database markers that make people very sick when they are exposed to mold. Not everyone stays sick after they are exposed to mold but people with one or more of these markers (may not be the same markers as for mercury)stay sick until he treats them with toxin binding drugs. I hope this helps.
As for metal poisoning, I did at one point consider that it could be from lead poisoning, but he has been tested several times already, and his levels were pretty much as low as they could be. As far as mercury fillings, I have never had a filling, and I absolutely cannot stand any type of seafood. I will check with his specialist at his upcoming appointment in October. Thanks for mentioning mercury though, I had not considered it as a factor, and I am now curious to find out.
Thanks again!
You said it like u read my mind. While i was reading whyat u were saying about the grandfather the father etc. and why is your son more sevear? Something hit me.
My son is more sevear than his realitives were. Maybe the genes build up????? Does that make any sense? at all???
It just hit me.
You really said every word i have ever felt. Thank U so Much
U have GREAT ESP!
out of all these replies, this one is the wisest
"I am not on a mission to cure my son's autism either. I just want to provide the best teaching and care that I can for him. And I take him him everywhere. Sometimes he enjoys himself, sometimes he doesn't, but at least we are all spending time together as a family, and that's what counts the most."
THIS MY FRIEND'S IS WHAT AUTISM IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT.
these children are still the babies you had, just now labeled which open doors to great resources for help.
Every mother, at some point in her life, most likely wants to cure whatever ails her child. None of us want our children to suffer in any way. My son has suffered greatly at the hands of rude and obnoxious people who don't wanna put up with him or understand him. We, as his parents, have suffered, too. Our house is always a mess thanks to Kristopher. We have devoted so much time to him that it's hard to find our own identities.
I admit, I would like to have a "cure" for autism. But, after 13 1/2 years, I'm also realistic in that as of this moment there is NOT gonna be a way that is happening for my son.
I understand people like Jenny McCarthy because she loves her child to oblivion and wants him to be "normal" (whatever that is) and he's still quite young. When I'd go to children's birthday parties (when my son was younger) it would break my heart to see him all alone in a corner somewhere while everybody else was running around and having a good time. He was so segregated and it hurt me for him. Today, we don't have that problem because Kris NEVER gets invited to social functions. : ( He NEVER gets phone calls from "friends". He NEVER goes to sleep overs. But, ironically enough, this is something that also does not seem to bother him as much as it bothers me.
We have lots of medical issues in our home and I do NOT give doctors carte blanche over my child or over the rest of us. Many of the doctors we've seen have been wrong about lots of things, including getting me a definitive diagnosis when Kristopher was little. I can tell you that now that I have lived with this I can usually tell by looking that a child has asperger's syndrome or is somewhere on the spectrum. A doctor should have done a better job with my son to give me the proper diagnosis alot earlier.
I do NOT consider it a label but an "understanding". I set out to understand my child because I love him dearly and I WANT to understand everything about him. I admit much of the things he "experienced" were foreign to me. Having a diagnosis meant shedding a light on lots of things that started to actually add up for me. It has helped me to understand where he is coming from and what I can do for him. It's not been an easy road, even with the diagnosis, though.
Today we visited a new ENT only to find that Kris has fluid in both ears and needs tubes put in. We've played with the idea of this for years. We were assured long ago that if Kris' educational setting was not a problem that we could delay this and when he turned 10 to 11 years old his eustasion (sp?) tubes would be more vertical than horizontal and he would "outgrow" the fluid problem. Well, folks, it didn't happen. I'm tired of it.
He flunked his vision and hearing screening at school this week. So, next Tuesday he will get tubes put in his ears. I'm looking forward to it. He talks way too much already, but when his hearing is bad the volume is so loud it drives me bananas. As we were sitting in the ENT's office he asked me about Kris' articulation. He asked me if he ever talked like he had a mouth full of mush. I laughed so hard I darn near pee'd my pants. I always tell him, "Kris, pronounce your words. You are talking like you have a mouth full of mush." Or I just simply say, "Mush!" and he knows I am not understanding him.
So, he says there is this tiny little piece of tissue under his tongue that needs to be "clipped" or "released" and the articulation should improve greatly. DUH!!! Do any of you have any idea how many visits to how many ENTs we've visited over the years and NOT a single one of them told me this???
So, when he gets the tubes put in on Tuesday next week he will also get that tissue clipped.
So, believe me when I say I don't arbitrarily trust any doctor. Doctors are NOT high on my list of favorite people. Doctors told me my oldest son had colic that "lasted and lasted" way past the normal 3 month old period. Turns out he had terrible migraine headaches that were not diagnosed until my son was 5 years old. 5 years of suffering because NOBODY would listen to me, HIS MOM!!!
I do think that there are times when doctors need to listen to the concerns of mothers with more than amusement or annoyance.
I don't know if vaccines cause some children to be autistic. Frankly, I believe our diets today have way too many artificial ingredients in them and many of those things are actually petroleum products. I think some people may be more sensitive to them than others.
But, the one thing I totally agree with you about is that I celebrate my son. He can be a PITA sometimes but he is my son and I love him. What I want more than anything in this world is for him to grow up, get a job, stay employable, and be self-sufficient. On top of that I hope he finds a wife to be with in his future.
It's the little things that bother me most of all. Like having a dear friend, going on an outing with another child, companionship, comraderie . . . all things that he is not experiencing now. I've tried and tried and Kris does enjoy some things like vacation bible school, aspie camp, and this year he wants to join the children's choir at church. I'm happy about that and holding my breath in anticipation of success.
I really don't know how my child became autistic. I do know it had NOTHING whatsoever to do with me since he is adopted. But, I do know that I love my son and I will always be in his corner and I will always strive to understand him and lastly, I've also come to realize that if love was enough, I'd of loved him "normal". And, that is NOT happening. And, as it is, he will suffer from lots of hardships if we can't find ways to help him to grow and learn and socialize.
Like you, I will always take my child with me wherever I go and I will do the best darn job I know of to parent my child.
I believe that as concerned parents that's the thing we will all do. But, does it mean I should NOT hope and pray for more than I'm getting??? NOT on your life. I have faith and with faith comes hope for a better tomorrow for Kristopher.
hugs,
gaylek11
You are a great mom to your son. It's one of the hardest jobs in the world . . . being a mom. Add to that being a mom to a child with special needs and it's like the most super hard job in the world.
Many times I have cried in exhaustion and said, "Do you see my forehead? It says N-O-N!!!" That stands for NON-person. I am NOT a person in my own right. I am the fixit, cleanit, solveit robot that goes behind or in front of my child to solve all of his issues.
I'm so glad that you got that pedicure for you. Who cares what the person doing it says or thinks. I'm sure they've seen it all and it is, after all, their business.
To feel the least bit pampered can sometimes bring us, as parents, back to feeling like we can once again deal with what we have been dealt.
We all need respite and we all need pampering.
I don't remember, but I think it was Jenny McCarthy that said, "if you wanna do something for a parent of a child on the spectrum, offer to babysit, NOT for an hour, or an afternoon but for an entire weekend." It sounded LIKE pure heaven to me. : )
We need breaks so we can go back to doing what we do best, mothering our precious children.
hugs,
gaylek11 (who does NOT have nearly enough respite in this life!)
Those would have to be amazing friends. The only "friend" I trust my little surprise with is DD2.
Actually, not really. But, I do trust him with my friend who's son is 26 and has asperger's syndrome. They keep each other occupied and understand each other very well.
The other is my daughter, who is grown with children of her own. Lord knows I keep my grandchildren 24/5 so she can go to nursing school but she is the ONLY one who I could really leave Kris with for any length of time without worry. But, she wants to move to the opposite end of the U.S. from me as soon as she graduates from nursing school. : (
And, then there is this one friend who started out as a behavioral therapist who came to our home. She could keep Kris for a long time and I'd trust her.
But, yeah, this is the basic problem. I could NOT leave him with anyone who might abuse him and believe me, when he gets into one of his ODD modes, it takes alot to keep remembering that this is a disability and NOT purposeful on his part.
So, I get it. But, in a dream world, it still sounded great to me.
hugs,
gaylek11 (who never gets enough respite!)