Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.

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Developmental & Learning Disorders
/ Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

Slapping and piculiarities

abrokenmom
abrokenmom

My grandson was diagnosed with autism at 18 months of age. He is now 3 1/2 and unless a person spends a great length of time with him, you wouldn't know he has autism any longer...he has come a long way. One of his *things* is that he acts differently with each person he is with when alone with them..me, his grandpa, his mom, his dad. He is always such an angel with me and his grandpa, never talks back, acts out, etc. He Is always polite and sweet with Us so when I found out he is out of Control At home, mean, disrespectful, etc at first found it  hard to believe but then figured it was different because he gets 100%of my time when he's with me. He is my world, we are so close!!!  Tonight, after being with me all night and all day, he was very tired. He fell down on his scooter, got up, I said "are you ok?" He just started crying so hard so I picked him up, took him to the rocking chair to comfort him and he slapped me in the face!  This is the type of behavior he has exhibited with his mom and dad but shocked me to see it. Then he slapped me a second time, followed me down the hall hitting me on my back. Is this autistic behavior??  Like I said,he's an angel with me and I spent about 80 hours a month with him. His mom and dad have swept the autistic diagnosis under the rug so I can't talk to them about this. Autism or just bad behavior and he isn't treated that way so I don't know how he learned this kind of behavior!  Help?

sambod
sambod
in my opinion , no. autistic behavior can and usually is much more than just aggression and behaviors are usually consistant so no matter who he is with, he would exhibit these behaviors all the time.

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/signs.html

does he show any other symptoms as addressed in the link above?
abrokenmom
abrokenmom
He used to but other than being obsessive, having to have things done a certain way, slight OCD. For instance, I have to ride with him and his dad about 50 feet in the car to my mailbox when his dad picks him up everyday then he tells me in the exact same words what to say when I say goodbye. That's been going on for a year. But we don't go through that if mom picks him up, then I have to stand on the deck and wave til he can't see me. Jingle Bells, he's been singing it regularly for 2 years, and he is exposed to so much music, but he even makes up other words to jingle bells. He might have a meltdown if I feed the dog without asking him if he wants to. When he slapped me, he had this look in his eyes like no one was home. Is he just being a "brat"? I am so confused by his behavior. This child from birth never cried when he was with me almost daily for 2 hours, sometimes 5 or 6 or more, Never. He is always so sweet. He just started preschool but slapped his parents before school. Where do they learn slapping? I don't remember my kids ever slapping me....Thank you for your input.
Beryl367
Beryl367
In answer to whether this could be 'autistic behavior' I would have to say "maybe, kind of, but not exactly".

Here's what I mean by that.

Autism doesn't cause kids (or grown-ups) to slap. But, acting out after something (like a scooter) fails to work as expected (or even desired), even if the failure is because he was tired and fell is consistent with autism [but also with three year olds]. An early example given to me of autism is the grizzly bear playing with the snowball. The grizzly bear crushes the snowball and is then enraged because the snowball broke.

As far as where they learn slapping, I'm not sure that it's always the same place. They see it and try it. Though I think now's the time to let him know that it's not acceptable. You'll find a lot of people who will want you to view it as a form of communication - and it may be. But my experience is that you'll still be dealing with it years later if you don't nip it in the bud now. [There is debate about the best way to do that but my suggestion - if practical - would be to send him home if /when he does it.]

I hope you find a solution that works for you and your grandson.
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