I have some advice, I'll put on tomorrow morning :)

Hugs,
Kris

congradulations on your new little one.....
I can give advice on the breastfeeding issues and childbirth.....sleep deprivation starts way before the baby is born and of corse a newborn doesnt make life any easier ....newborns nurse about every two hours, so it does seem like you are constantly feeding.....add the hormones and you have a very emoitional volcano ready to errupt.....have you considereed renting a breat pump???? that would allow you to bottle feed and still give the breatmilk.
DO you have a medical plan that allows for home visits from a lactation consultant...the nurse is usually very good at calming fears and she could also help watch for the postpartum depression....she may still be recovering from the birth..since I do not know how old the baby is....good luck.

sounds to me like shes going through some postpartum.. i went through it too. i remember crying and i didnt even know what i was crying about or why.....
does harrison imitate you? caleb will imitate me sometimes so if he gets to being to loud, then i start whispering to him and he usually whispers back.
calebs getting better with his little sister but he still has his moments. i remember when we first brought her home from the hospital....he was so jelouse (which is perfectly normal) we just tried to spend extra time with him and pay extra attention to him to and try to include him with everything that you can....
sounds to me like you're doing all you can for your kids and wife. they are lucky to have you!

I went thru some of that myself. With both of my boys. I tried to nurse them but I was getting really frustrated and I was determined not to use formula. Zach wasn't getting enough and would cry after he ate so we had no choice. I was also suffering from post partum that made the milk supply less. The more stress the less milk. It does sound like he is getting enough though if he fell asleep right after feeding, he is obviously not still hungry. I would second the renting the pump or purchasing one. You can get them at a home medical store. There are some that are better than others and they have various prices. The one the hospital recomended to me and I have seen alot of is the Medela Pump in Style. Medela is a good brand and isn't too teribly pricey. Not that cheap but not the most expensive either. If she can pump either inbetween his eating or pump right after he is done she can keep some on hand for you to feed him by bottle. If she worries about him not wanting to switch between bottle and nursing make sure you or someone else gives him the bottle. It will be easier for him to associate mommy with nursing and daddy with the bottle. Getting her some more sleep and helping her to understand that what she is feeling is completely normal and it will pass in little while. If it last for a while or seems to be getting worse you will want to ask a dr about getting her some treatment for it. It is not the end of the world to have to take meds for postpartum depression, I did. It does keep you from being able to nurse, so if she can stick it out it will be better for the baby, but if it gets that bad it is best for both mother and child to get treatment. The baby is better off on formuala with mom on antidepressants than to have her completely misserable. I had to make that choice, I know how hard it is. I think your looking for answers and ways to help your wife is great. Keep up the good work.

I went through the same thing. I was damned if I was going to bottle feed. The baby is only a few days old so it's hard for your wife to get into a good "groove" with him. It's also twice as hard with having two kids instead of just one. Ask her if she might want to talk with a Le Leche League coach. Yes, the nursing Nazi's! They helped me so much. Sometimes other nonbreast moms just don't understand. Our mothers weren't part of the breast is best era and she may not have many friends who do either. None of my friends or family breast fed their babies.

As far as postpartum depression goes, it is a natural stage to cry for up to 2 weeks. Longer than that should be discussed with the doctor. Be as supportive and loving as you can. If she doesn't want to use the pump or formula for bottle feeding then try to respect her decision. Some women feel a need to breast feed only because of instinct and don't think they are being a good enough mother if they don't. I was one of those.

With your son being loud with the baby is pretty normal too. Involve him as much as possible with his new brother. He's pretty little so he probably doesn't understand that it bothers the baby. Just try to remind him that it hurts his brother's ears when he yells his name like that. He'll get used to him after awhile. The novelty will wear off soon enough. Hope this helps some. I'm glad to help you more if needed. Just message me.

Congrats on your new bundle and I'm glad you're concerned so much for your wife.

Just one more thing. If antidepressants are needed, Wellbutrin can be taken while breastfeeding, so she wouldn't have to stop.

Dear Jordanc, I didn't breast feed but my sister did. She used a pump and actually got some rest! And yes hormones do have alot to do with it but don't wait for more signs for postpartum depression. She should visit the Obgyn and just be checked out, better safe than sorry. As for the crying, I cried a lot not b/c of the childbirth but because I was afraid my third was going to have problems like Stephen. I was so upset, I was looking at every single sign, checking her muscle tone everything. When my youngest was born Stephen was only 1 and 3 months and he didn't walk until after 2 years old so I had to carry both of them. I was petrified and that my third was going to have problems, some people don't admit it but I know it's true. You are a wonderful husband to worry about your family, of only more would.

I wish they had had welbutrin when my kids were babies. I held out as long as I could and had to go with the meds and formula. My doctor said I couldn't breast feed if I was on meds. A shame for my daughter because she was the only one of the three that nursed well.

the breast pump is really the answer for your situation, and your wife is probably in postpartum as well.
I absolutely have to say this to you,
you are one hell of a father and husband, i cant think of one man i know now or have ever known that would ask for the advice you just asked for. your heart of gold is amazing, your wife is so lucky to have you, and i am sure she knows it. you have the utmost respect from me, there were more men like you in this world it would be a dmaned near perfect world as far as i am concerned. have you considered starting a "husband/father" group here on DS? i know you are very commited to your family and dont have a lot of free time, but starting a group like that once the men have joined, the group would pretty much run itself. a DS group for men to join and vent, ask for advice and connect with eachother would be so good for men, but most will not admit to it until they see someone else cowboyed up and started the group. you just amaze me all the time! maybe one of us women should start the group for husbands to come to and ask the "experts" for support and advice when it comes to how to help your wife with things you dont know about because it is a "woman" thing.i will stop rambling now, but i just have to say it again, you are amazing! give that baby a big kiss from me and harrison a big tickle!
hugs,
p

Hi Jordanc,

Well, I'm sorry I don't have much advice on the feeding for the baby as I'm on the spectrum and don't know about that at all, but hey you doing some bottle feeding to help, awesome dad! LOL, I know you prob. been hearing that a lot. And congratulations :) to all of you despite the emotional rollercoaster part. Maybe what could help is to let your wife know that you came on here to ask for advice and that there are like hundreds of members who are sending 'congrats' and 'kiss the baby for me' and maybe it will cheer her up.

For the being gentle, oh I know about that. It can be hard for any child to understand but especially for a child who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. For the voice thing, some kids have voice pitch problems 'cause they can't literally hear themselves. Second, they don't get the concept of smaller equals not as loud (if they can hear themselves). What I would do is take something that he likes (something like a stuffed thing-gonnna sound strange I'm sure but just hear it out I hope) and say 'gentle' - then roleplay what gentle is. Say I am being gentle (and in a soft voice) and give yourself a reward (something you would like and or he would like)... Then have him do it --several times is key everyday-- and then he gets the reward. For him wanting a reaction out of the baby you can have him just give a 'gentle' again role-play swipe of endearment on your arm (which would go to the baby's arm and then look at him and the baby would do the same)... You can also teach him that he can kiss the baby on the cheek or rather hand (safer) and again how to do it gently and that will get a response and this will show to him he can get responses he wants w/out it being 'not gentle' and w/out it being 'loud'. Hope that helped.

Hugs,
Kris

PS: Add PECS or signs of gentle near the baby's stuff and area so he catches onto the concept quicker as well!

Have you ever heard of social stories? One of those might work for your son.