Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.

889 Members
6,081 Posts
0 Online
Developmental & Learning Disorders
/ Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group

I need help/advice

jprjat
jprjat
Okay so my son just turned 4. He was diagnosed with Autism a year and a half ago. He was in preschool all last year but then his daycare shut down and I did not have many options so I decided to check out the head start program. I finally got him in to the full day program but now I am having alot of problems. To start, his teacher told me that he had an ear infection and that I needed to take him to the doctor. I then explained that I don't believe he has an ear infection but I said I would take him anyway. I had to wait a day to take him because I could not get off of work so as my dad went to drop him off they told him that he is not allowed to come back until I take him to the doctor. I was confused about this because even if he did have an ear infection it is not contagious. Anyway I took him to the doctor and confirmed what I had already suspected. He did not have an ear infection but instead he simply has excess ear wax and there is nothing we can do about it. Okay then a few days after this, I get a phone call from a family advocate lady at head start and she explains to me that the teacher has been complaining and saying that my son is coming to school dirty so I had to listen to her for an hour giving me advice on how to keep my son clean. The way she was talking implicated that if he did not come to school clearn than they would involve social services. Now I know you can't take my word for it but I don't send my son to school dirty. Another couple days past and I get a letter from the school saying something about him coming to school with dirty sock and a bug bite on his bottom. Now I will say that his socks were probably not brand new but they were not dirty either and as for the bug bite, I am not sure what that has to do with anything. I will also say that he came home the other day with spaghetti all over his face and he eats lunch at 10:30 or so and is not picked up until 4 so I don't know if it was on his face all day or what. Today he actually came home with the front of his shirt wet. Not really sure what happened and they did not tell my dad what happened when he picked him up.
I am just really confused and upset right now. I am not sure if the head start is having a hard time dealing with him because he can have some major meltdowns or what is going on. I feel as if they do not want him there. Another thing that bothers me is I don't know how they treat him while he is there. I dropped him off the other day and he was fine until we got about halfway down the hall and then he suddenly started crying. I let that slide because it has not happened again so I don't know. My son does not really talk so it is not like I can ask him what happened at school. I am just very frustrated and I feel powerless in this situation. Any advice or just support would be great.
Kansass
Kansass
I think I would find an alternitive, when they can't talk and tell you what's wrong it's very frustrating. If my son would have started to cry when I dropped him off it would probably have sent a big red flag up because he loves going places. It sounds to me like they either can't or don't want to deal with him and they're just looking for excuses.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds to me like they need more training. A lot of programs do not have adequate training for their teachers. I would try to find an alternative or talk to someone high up in administration. Explain your son's problem and that you think the teachers are not be responsive to him as a handicapped child. They should take this as a red flag of discrimination against a handicapped child. They might think twice about it. You will have to learn advocacy skills for your son. Try and find a class or course on it. It's so well worth it. If you don't have any resources nearby, try online classes or books on handicapped child advocacy.

Good luck, I've been there.

Elona
candsmom
candsmom
No matter if it's Head Start or a private preschool if the teacher is not good with ASD children or even just your child it is not a good place for them to be. Is there another class, is there another Head Start in your area? I would be contacting the director of the center and then the head of whoever runs all the centers in the area.

My ASD child had a wonderful teacher (who was also the director) but I would not have put her in the other class there, that teacher did not do well with children with "issues". That teacher retired and the next one that took her place was great.

As for sending him "dirty", take a picture just before he leaves. If he rides the bus he has time to become dirty. OH and there were children that came dirty, as in needing a bath and they were just cleaned up and made to feel good about themselves.
jprjat
jprjat
Thanks for some of the advice. I just feel very overwhelmed by the whole situation. Last year in preschool at his other school, I had no problems so I am just going crazy with everything that is going on. I feel like I am powerless as a parent right now and I am not sure where I can get the information I need to be a successful advocate for my son. I tried looking online for some information but there was so much and some of it was very confusing. Also since my son doesn't communicate, can I suggest that the school use certain systems such as PECS or is that up to them. I just don't really know what to do. I don't really know what my rights are a parent and what my son's rights are either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi I am a mother with 2 boys on the spectrum.Both of my boys went to headstart.There are teachers that don't know enough.If I could suggest maybe going in and observing the classroom setting.I know this isn't an easy thing as you work but maybe even when you drop him off stand on the outside for a few minutes to look in or maybe have your father go in and observe for a little bit.As for staying clean what exactly do they think is dirty?Boys will be boys you can't always keep them clean every minute of the day.Another suggestion would be for you to set up a meeting with his teachers and if things don't change request a change in classrooms.
Tee
sambod
sambod
I would print out some information on autism for them as they may not have the knowledge they need to learn about your child.

wrightslaw.com is an excellent source of information in regard to special education and the law.
sociologygeek
sociologygeek
im right there with ya..ive been living on the spectrum all my life.. you have a right to know what kind of care he is recieving. While he is at school, he is in the care of the school. Could it be the staff don't really take the time to deal with special needs kids. One thing that ive said many times is it is my feeling that a sizable poriton of those employed in human services field, education, etc are content with doing a mediocre job, and not really willing to give of themselves and committ to those they serve.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • deleted_user

    Food Allergy?

    Posted by: deleted_user
    Last Reply: Iafaforallergy
    7
    My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...