Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
I've posted before, but need some ideas. My MIL refuses to acknowledge or accept my daughter's autism spectrum (PDD-NOS) disorder. My daughter can handle about 2 hours. So, for Christmas celebration with entire family (loud, chaotic, and lots of kids most under 10) my husband and I came up with a great compromise. We would go to open presents (maximum of 90 minutes), take a couple hour break to give her a nap or rest time, and go back for dinner (maximum of 2 hours). My husband explained this to my MIL and it was fine. It is happening today and plans suddenly changed. Dinner is at 6:30pm and presents are immediately after dinner. Dinner itself is usually late and is about a 2 hour ordeal by itself. Then, comes the presents which can take almost as long. So, I'm looking at close to 4 hours straight at MIL's with my daughter. I told my husband that me and the kids would eat quick and sneak out after dinner for a break (albeit shorter than ideal). My MIL has Santa coming after dinner and demands the kids stay which she knows very well scares my daughter to the point she claws at me, screams, hyper ventilates, and has a full blown meltdown. I'm ready to tell my MIL that me and the kids aren't going because the sudden "changes" are too stressful and santa terrifies our daughter, but hubby isn't having it. When it comes down to it, our daughter will be a mess and I'll be trying to pick up the pieces along with watching our 3 year old to make sure he doesn't get into Nana's "pretty things" (collectibles/knick knacks..etc). My husband will either fall asleep on the couch or disappear with a list of things his mother wants him to do while he's there. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Any creative solutions? Thanks in advance.
Just my way, or the highway....
Good Luck, and Merry Christmas!
We've got a 7yr old and 5yr old..both on the spectrum.
We finally had to lay out our "laws" for the holidays. With those laws, I had to toss out some of my "wants" too. Like wanting my boys to go on hayrides, do some of the fun thing I remember as a kid. But my childhood is not their childhood.
And when it came to our parents places.....we didn't do Thanksgiving at my inlaws as it was in another state and I wasn't about to haul my boys on a full days journey just to not be able to eat because my hubby and I would be tag teaming with the kids because of their needs.
Then came Christmas's and other events.
We kept things simple. No big events and No visits from Santa's at our houses.
Picture were kept at a minimum and if you didn't catch their face the first time, be thankful they stood there while someone tried to capture the picture. Period! I'll send pictures and you can photo shop them if you need something perfect! Be thankful for photoshop!
Also, we have time limits. And a new rule added to the list...no nerf guns. Our youngest tried to shoot his eye out. Seriously, he was stimming and the trigger went off before I could get there.
I'm done with pleasing others to give them the "perfect" holiday they want. From now on, my kids come first and if we happen to fit into their plans, great....if not...too dang bad. I'll send my dog to sit in for us.
And words of advice to all new families to Autism....don't ever feel ashamed or left out because you have to do what is best for your child. On any given day. We've got one chance with our kiddos and if I can give them a calm holiday season if they desire it, then that 's what they'll get. Our families will catch on. I took mine 5yrs, but they now have gone from full blown traditional to laid back easy going holidays. We're all much happier because of it.