Well hun......I am in the same boat! Only we haven't gone back to court yet....not till March 11th....I do not understand that judge's decesion! How can he do this to your child? I mean....this is exactly the fears that I have.....and summer school for our kiddo's is a MUST! Did this order occur in Alaska? Or in Kansas? Why is he force feeding him? Is he severely underweight? Sensory issues with feeding? How old is your son? I would appeal this judges decision....ya have that right! I know that you've spent A LOT!!!!!!! THATS CRAZY! Hun...my heart goes out to ya...I am in tears here just thinking about what could happen to my son....lemme think more on this...I am a lil overwhelmed right now..it just touches home with me..lemme see what I can think of....hugs! years.

WOW it feels so good to have someone understand! I am touched just thinking of it... And emotional lately? You bet. To answer some of your questions... the order did occur in Alaska and I am currently searching for help to get it overturned here in Kansas, expecially since my x seems oblivious to the harm he is causing our son. And bless my son's heart... he wants to spend time there (but I suspect this has more to do with what daddy dearest can give him {i did mention bribery didn't I?} and the children he gets to play with there {they have 3 other children}. And he is force feeding him because he thinks I am a horrible mother that only lets my kid eat junk and that I need to quit babying him (did I mention he is oblivious?). And no he isn't under weight, but according to doc's perfectly healthy. My son has just turned 9 going on 18... lol. I hope you have a better outcome then we did, and I hope our future outcome is better. I have started a website tonight on myspace geared to our situation... http://www.myspace.com/asperger_autism_support. I just needed somewhere to find people in the same situation and possibly get enough attention to someday take my fight to the court systems directly as they seem unaware of what these children need in these cases. Where is your case taking place? I will pray that they at least have some knowledge it what is needed for your child. Good luck and let me know what happens... Perhaps we can be there for each other...

Thank you so much, but seeing as I am new to this stuff... what is ARC? And his doctor's were involved with the last case and Alaska completely ignored any and all recommendations given. We are currently working with an attorney here in Kansas that specializes in these cases so I hope it works out and doesn't cost me another payment as large as my first home!

Thanks again for all your help and advice.
I really should have joined this earlier!

Ya know hun.....my heart really breaks for ya...My son is sooooo sick tonight...I just couldn't imagine him not being home with me so that I can care for him..tuck him in at night..now he's safe..I want ya to ask that judge for GAL for your son....they will represent your son and his best intrest..not you or the fathers...just for the child...also....I want ya to speak to the GAL and let them see your routine within your home and how much care your son needs...they need to see proof of records that your son wasn't able to attend ESY due to having to go outta state for visitations with his father, by the way....his father could've and should've gotten him into an ESY there where he lives! I am gonna keep working on ideas for ya..diff. in my case and yours is .my son's father has never had any visitation rights ever....in the entire 15 years....and now.....he wants coustody???? OVER MY DEAD BODY! I DO MEAN THAT! I have devoted my life to caring for my son......be damned if he's gonna take that away from me now! I hope that it dosen't tap ya out in atty fees.....I know that we all struggle as it is.....hopefully now that ya in Kansas this judge will see that this order isn't in your son's best intrest! Hugs hun....I am praying for ya'll! years.

thanks again, so much!!! And yeah, I asked for a GAL in the last case and didn't recieve one. And I kinda feel the same way you do as his bio-father never had anything to do with him and was never around... now he's playing father of the year to his new wife's children and expects to do so with our son now that he's nine years too late. I don't think you have much to worry about with your x as he has never been in your son's life. I'm sure the judge will look at that. I don't think there is a chance in H-E-double hockey sticks that is going to happen. I'll keep you posted and any good ideas you come up with let me know. And if I get any throughout my situation I will pass them on to you. I hope your son feels better soon. I know how it feels to know your son is safe in your home and how out-of-control it feels to have him away. I pray you don't have to experience that for it is like a little death everytime I have to let him go to that man's home. Hugs!!! Kim

Thanks! And that is a terrible name... :) As for the physcologist/physciatrist thing, yes my son has seen both and all reports were given to the judge in Alaska where he chose to ignore them. Go figure. And child services is already in this as well for the spanking and force feeding. It has come to no avail, because believe it or not there are no laws on the books against spanking an disabled child. Yeah, trying to figure out how to get legislation started on that one since it is a crock of horse puckey... (and I'm using nice words here...). The new lawyer is going to ask for court costs of the current case and perhaps even the debt I owe in the last one. And Oh! Yes the spankings and feeding issues have been documented with his therapist. You guys have been such a great help to me you just don't know... well, maybe actually you guys are the only ones that would know! And you are 100 % right about the x stroking his ego... and his wonderful new wife is just feuling the fire (and that will be all I will say about her for now becuase to be that naive is just ignorance and not worth my breath). I will definately keep you all posted! thanks again so much for all your help and I will be taking all these suggestions to my new lawyer's attention on Monday! Hugs to ya!

Kim

Thanks again! And yeah, apparantly it is not abuse in the state of Kansas as I have already reported him to children's services AND supplied the letter from his therapist and they have said there is no law against it but they drew up the report (nothing came of it). But I think the real trouble was Alaska. They just had no knowledge of this disorder and theywere supplied with everything as well. And yes, my x does not want to pay his child support, that was the first thing he challenged after the ruling of the court. And as for the classes... it was not only recommended by the courts in Alaska (however not court ordered) and after turning him into the Family Advocacy Program here on post it was forwarded to his chain of command that he be required to take classes and it has not happened either. Haven't even heard anything from these people. I gotta tell you, I am just thankful to God that my husband is the father my son deserves... He is patient and understanding, never raises a hand to him (although he did spank him when we first got together then I told him that was inappropriate for a child like our son and he never did it again), and he takes the time to play with him and doens't try to change who he is. I couldn't have asked for a better man in my life to help me through all of this. And now, you guys who are helping me in seeing that I am not CRAZY for thinking what I am thinking and I am CERTAINLY not the only one going through this type of situation. On a more positive note... my husband is due home for R and R any day and my son is bouncing off the walls in anticipation! Thank again,and I will be sure to supply my new lawyer all the current letters and recommendation as well as all the emails from my x (including one that stated... and I'm not making this up... he doesn't want our son when the other kids are not there). Yeah, he's fried his goose I'm just tired of the crap. :(

thanks again for all your help! Any other ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated!