Sweetie, I don't know much about autism but I know there are a lot of different types. All I can say is that his aggressive behavior toward you is not something that needs to continue. Being forced to have sex, even by someone you love, is rape & you should not have to endure that pain & fear. Even if his behavior is caused by his autism & is not something he can control, you are not safe. Please seek help for both of you.
dj

does he have a caretaker kinda person, parent, etc, who you could talk to about this? Someone who oversees his medical care? With any luck something as simple as a change in medication could correct this... I don't really know, of course... I'm not a doctor nor do I know very much about autism for that matter. It's just an idea. Anyhow... if the man really loves you, wouldn't he want you to do whatever is needed to keep yourself safe, even if it would come down to changing the living arrangment? This is the sort of thing I worry about for my girlfreinds' son who suffers from moderate-severe autism... I got faith that he'll be able to function close to normally someday and will have relationships, etc, but am afraid that such interactions will still be adversely affected by his condition. I just want the kid to have the same opportinuties, good experiences, etc that everyone else has, ya know... Do me a favor, please.. if you find a solution to this problem, would you send me a breif message on here and tell me a little about it, incase I can use the knowledge to help my g/f's son someday? It would be greatly appreciated :-) Best of wishes to ya

Well, I'm not an expert on autism but I do know some things about it and from what I know about it, the behavior you describe does not sound (to me) like it is caused by the autism.

BUT even though that is the question you asked, that isn't the thing that struck me most about your post.

He's being forceful and you are afraid to sleep.

We all need to be safe. If that means separating either until he gets his behavior under control or permanently then that's what it means. Your safety should be your primary concern.

I think the suggestion to consult a counselor or psychiatrist if he's working with one is good. They can do a lot of things with medications these days. The thing that concerns me is that from your post I got the impression that he is not accepting your word that he is "attacking " you "in his sleep". I wonder whether you need to get the police involved. I guess we hear from time to time about people who walk, eat too much, or drive in their sleep, but I'm just really not sure how that works - or how this could be the same. Have you tried to wake him up when he's 'attacking' you 'in his sleep'?

Sorry to say but your situation is not healthy for you to let it keep going on. If he's as high functioning as you say then even if he's 'severely affected' he should be able to understand that 'no' means 'no' and that force (pinning your arms) is not O.K.

I would say "safety first and now, problem-solving second."

P.S. Whether he would hurt someone else if he stays at their place is something that he is responsible to manage; It is NOT your responsibility. I have seen people in situations where they felt obligated to let someone hurt them in order to prevent others from being hurt and those situations never ended well - and sometimes the people found out later that other people were being hurt anyway.

Please act right away to make your situation safe for you and then if he wants to work with you that's up to you.

Well kris does believe me about it. he just thinks its a dream

It sounds like he has a sleep disorder called sexsomnia. He should go see a doctor about it as there may be treatments available for it. In the meantime, you should stop sleeping in the same bed as him. He is hurting you, and that is not acceptable, even if he is not aware of his actions. You need to protect yourself and keep yourself safe.

As for the overly sexual behaviour when he is awake, have you ever told him that it is too much and you don't like it all the time, or that it hurts you? Autistic people don't always know what is acceptable behaviour or if they are hurting other people, so they need to be explicitly told things and to be set clear guidelines of what is and is not ok to do. You should maybe set some rules, like a limit to the amount of sex you can have each day or each week, and explain to him why doing it more than that hurts you. If he understands that he is hurting you, and if he understands but ignores guidelines you put into place to prevent yourself from being hurt, then he is a jerk. Autistic people, like normal people, can sometimes be uncaring jerks.

You should also never be afraid to say no to sex. If he loves you, then he will understand and respect you, even if you say no.