Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
My 11 year old son will be starting Middle School in a few days. He was diagnosed last year with PDD-NOS. He has social issues, anxiety, OCD and some tics. On the outside, most people do not notice anything "wrong" with him, so it worries me a lot, that he will be an easy target for being picked on because of his sometimes "odd" behavior.
I know it can be called an invisible disability because none of his friends really know anything is medically wrong with him. He will be going to school with a lot of new kids who don't know him and in the past, this has been an issue.
The school is well aware and he already has an IEP. Last year was a nightmare because of a horrible teacher and some friction with a few kids in his class.
My hope is that this will be better for him because he can switch classes, etc. The school was also nice enough to make sure he was with one of his best friends in homeroom and in a couple of classes. They can also have lunch together.
I am just so nervous because I don't know what to expect. Will the kids be mean to him because he is very immature for his age?
I don't want to worry him, but I would like to give him some advice for being able to deal with different situations. I am also in the process of finding him a psychiatrist who might be able to prescribe some meds for him.
Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
I know it can be called an invisible disability because none of his friends really know anything is medically wrong with him. He will be going to school with a lot of new kids who don't know him and in the past, this has been an issue.
The school is well aware and he already has an IEP. Last year was a nightmare because of a horrible teacher and some friction with a few kids in his class.
My hope is that this will be better for him because he can switch classes, etc. The school was also nice enough to make sure he was with one of his best friends in homeroom and in a couple of classes. They can also have lunch together.
I am just so nervous because I don't know what to expect. Will the kids be mean to him because he is very immature for his age?
I don't want to worry him, but I would like to give him some advice for being able to deal with different situations. I am also in the process of finding him a psychiatrist who might be able to prescribe some meds for him.
Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
My older boy is 13 and he has dyslexia, so I now a bit about middle school issues. I can understand how your boy must be feeling. One thing the OT for Oli recommended is to write a letter to each of his teachers explaining about him and his IEP. If he has a bad teacher, stay on top of the situation and request a conference immediately, and possibly a change of teacher. Get to be good friends with the administration and special education resource person, and call IEP meetings every wee if they are causing him to have issues. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease!
She has the locker at the end of the hallway that is right by the elementary wing (VERY small school system) and she will check in with the teacher she had for 4th and 5th grades (connected with her when her sister had her). Have you had any of these concessions put in his IEP? She is also to leave early and come in after the halls are clear. She has an issue with others entering a room she is in.
It took a few tries to find the right combo of meds for her and then added NAC at the end of the school year. That does wonders for her and is OTC supplement.
Good luck and HUGS!
I think that what would have help is even if the doctors did do what they did, having my parents remind me that they were on my side a lot would help. I think also I wish my parents realized that I struggled telling things in a way things that made sense to others. Basically, I couldn't talk and say this is what is happening. I could write it out but that was never an option I was given.
Also, make sure that he knows that if he tells you by speaking, telling, or drawing pictures what is happening, that he will not get in trouble. Tell him that it is important to tell the truth and it won't be his fault if he tells the truth, even if it is about bad things other kids do to him.
It would also help if you ask him daily what happened day to day. You will need to be very specific, break down the day because otherwise things get very mixed up in our heads. Give examples, like "during lunch were you able to find something you liked to eat? Did you also find a place to eat where you felt comfortable? Or did you find someone you liked to sit by when you were eating?" It may feel like an interview or whatever, but even today, I need help from my mom in that way to explain what is going on. I wish that had been done in school because I think that may have helped.
Also, is he assigned a couple of "buddies" to look after him? Ones that are older and that can be trusted to report things that happen to him? That might help, I am not sure.
As far as preparing him, you will need to not only tell him but show him what is not okay as far as behavior to do. Such as if he feels mad, sad or upset or whatever when someone says stuff to him, he should go to a trusted adult. Or certain actions, like throwing things at him, hitting, or what not. Make sure he knows that he should write the things down and tell an adult later or tell an adult right away.
Does he have the ability to leave class and go to the ED room and have a seperate space for a "time out" if he needs it? That has helped me in the past as well.
Good luck!! I hope you both do well!
I was worried about him being a target and i wont lie to you it did happen...once. How i dealt with it was with quick and direct action making it very clear to all the other parents that it WOULD NOT be tollerated and to be honest with you i am glad it happened because since he has been left alone.
In effect it has actually been a blessing as because of his nature he attracts the nice kids who look out for him and because word has spread that his dad (who looks like a terminator lmao) wont stand for any nonsense the bullies and nasties avoid him like the plague. I wont say this is the ideal solution as intimidation is never always an honourable way to deal with things but rest assured before i spoke to any parents i went straight to the school head and told him in no uncertain terms if a reoccurance happened i would be going straight to the education authority to report it and believe me it was dealt with so swiftly you would not believe it.
NO CHILD should have to put up with bullying EVER and more so in the case of our kids because they are not equipped to deal with the anxiety created so if it does happen my advice is stamp on it and do so quickly. The authorities are there to help you so dont feel like you are burdening the system for leaning on them it is their job and what they get paid for.
El
El
Keep in contact with the school nonstop. Get a contact person and request regular communication. DOCUMENT everything for your child. PDD is one of the most misunderstood issues in school, especially with many of the kids also having sensory processing disorders and things like OCD. Put your all your requests in writing and follow up conversations with emails so you can reaffirm in writing what you all discussed.
I would also suggest getting the school to chart his days. This way over longer periods people can look at trends in behaviors or anxiety. Bring an outside party with you, even a friend you trust to all your meetings. Your friend is less emotional and during tougher to listen to meetings, my support asked questions I forgot to and was able to keep minutes while I talked. Always ask for meeting minutes. Many times they are typed incorrectly and you can ask to get them corrected. Also never get emotional. I am a social worker and know many special ed teams that often look at parents as emotional or uninformed. Remember you know your son BEST. You are his best advocate and cheerleader. If your son gets special services, ask when they actually take place each day... like OT and such. When and with whom, which days?
Also document each day, if you can, your son's mood and what he reports is going right or wrong. You'd be suprised at what you see over time. Is your son getting OT at school? Does he have a safe place to go to during the day that is assigned so he knows it is there and the teachers too? What we also did too was join special olympics in our area. It gave my son a place to see others like him as well as for me to meet other parents in my predicament.