I have really hard time trusting people. When I make friends, I will let them be friends but to a extent. I have a hard time trusting anyone with anything, I only have really one fiend at a time or a few friends that I know. You are not alone in it.

My Aspie friend trusts no one. It's hard to get him to trust me and we are close, or were. He always tells me that he can't trust this one or that one and feels like everyone hates him or wants to hurt him or use him. I spend alot of time comforting him and trying to get him to relax and trust one or two people in his life. He is an awesome person, I just wish he didn't seem so scared, but people can be mean and have been mean to him. I have felt people bullied him on and off and he is 38 yrs old and it still seems to happen. I think that sometimes people get angry at him because of his lack of trust because his lack of trust makes him act out in ways that I dont think he would normally. It's a vicious cycle it seems.

If I were to count I would say that I trust maybe two people 98%. God is the only one who I know i can trust all the time. It's sad that people can't have more integrity and give without taking but the world isn't like that unfortunately, but a few of us are.

I don't want to start a conversation off topic of what Gomez needed so.............but it's funny, where you said "critics" I thought for a second that it said citrus!

My philosophy tends to echo what Fastillion has said about the meaning of friendship. I also don't trust anyone completely, not even my own parents. I feel that everyone, in some form or another, be it subtle or overt, will find a way to use or exploit me for their own ends. I think that's what everyone does, although only a few pick up on it.

I also don't believe that genuine altruism exists in this world, at least not on a human level. Even when people say it just "feels good" to help people, that warm and fuzzy feeling is just that someone convincing themselves that they're worth something in this world. Although the sad truth is that NO ONE knows 100% exactly why we're here. Certainly not the religious profiteers who claim to have concrete answers to complex questions, and not even folks like Mother Theresa who have been lauded as altruistic individuals.

Wow, even I have strayed off my own topic. Going back to my initial point, I think the problem for me personally is that I really WANT to trust people. That part of me, despite how illogical it seems, wants to have friends and be in relationships. It hurts me to be lonely, and I wish it was just something I could turn off.

Gomez., while Fastillion has a point, he is also extremely cynical. I don't mean that as an insult either Fastillion. I am simply stating the truth. I lived the life of cynicism and I have found that it hurt me more than it protected me. I want to trust someone, just like Gomez does. I don't believe that God would mention good relationships if there were not one out there. He doesn't lie. If anyone is a straight shooter it was/is Jesus. Anyway, that is how I have gotten to the place where I am today. If it were not for my spiritual life I would be the most cynical, vengeful, distant person on the planet!

I understand how you and Fastillion feel and I'm not just saying that to be "warm and fuzzy" or "polite" I'm saying it because it's fact. I have decided that if I want someone as honest and straight as me, someone who has no ulterior motive in being close to me then I will treat them the same way, even if I do get hurt almost every time. I am not being naive, I am trying to live by faith and believe what the one person I can trust tells me.

The only reason I joined Daily Strength is because once again, I was betrayed and not by someone being unfaithful but rather by someone not being a real friend to me. I am tempted to become bitter and never try again, but if I do that...........I'm only hurting myself.

Well Fastillion, the whole point is that when you decide to be a friend to Christ you die to self. It' show He lived and died. I think if I have to go through some painful times 99% of my life it's alot better than bleeding to death hanging by my hands and feet on a cross while people spit on me and hate me for no reason.

Now listen, you want to say that everyone wants something, ok , you're right, but you are an intelligent man are you not? So why are you putting impossible ideals onto friendship? It's not selfish to want a friend to treat you right. That's not an "ulterior motive". If I were your friend I wouldn't want anything from you other than some understanding and I would want to be able to count on you and not for unreasonable things. If I was hurt and needed you I would want you to do your best to be there for me the same as I would be for you and if you couldn't, I would in turn give you the respect that you deserved by not condemning you for it because of love and forgiveness in a friendship. I don't think asking for some decent treatment is considered an ulterior motive or selfish, mean or unreasonable. You are angry, that's fine, but it's time that you try to look out the window, at least through the blinds...people are scum for the most part, you're right, but what about the very few of us who aren't? We end up like we are now...struggling with bitterness and anger because people don't live up to our expectations, well, they never will- so how about the tiny percent of those of us who know what it's all about, trust each other since we have no one else to trust. I guess that's my point.

There are way too many commas in this post.

Fastillion, you took my "for no reason" literally. I should have said for no reason that I find justifiable. Also, I think that you and I are starting to take over the trust and betrayal post made by Gomez. Maybe we're not, but just in case let's either start a new topic outside of his? That is me being polite, and I don't want anything in return! :)

-either

Typo.

My turn and I am not going to lie either.

1. The thought of a man your age even thinking of an 18 yr old child scares me.

2. If # 1 didn't exist in my mind right now I would ask you, maybe the people that you have tried to be friends with failed you because they are out of your league and not the other way around?

Food for thought.

And Fastillion, a word of advice.......you have mentioned that someone wants something from you but you're not interested in that person. If that wasn't only an example and there is someone in your life right now please do them a favor and tell them that you're not interested. Don't do that horrific silent treatment thing where you just disappear or don't talk hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away. That's a very mean thing to do.

Fastillion, we need to talk.

Funny. I was thinking the same thing about cutting the strings fast, but then decided against it.

In a way the "we need to talk" was a joke because you said you didn't like to or feel the need to be the guy in the door saying "we need to talk" Sorry, my sense of humor is kinda warped, at the same time I was a bit serious though.

Fastillion, your ego is not suffering a bit lol. When I posted to the woman in the shower, I read your line where you mentioned a washing machine and said to myself "oh yeah, I hate that!" and it got me thinking about all of the sensations that make me uncomfortable. If I were wanting to talk to you about a washing machine I would have stated it more clearly. As for studying you, well sorry but I am studying me. I have been through the wringer lately (not referring to a washing machine with that expression by the way) and I'm having a rough time. You and I started to monopolize the topic that Gomez posted and had a few things to say to each other. It was that simple. I had no ulterior motives, not even with the bowl of soup. I sent it because you seemed upset and this site is called Daily Strength and the groups are called SUPPORT groups so I was trying to reach out and give you some. I just might send you some more soup.

Now please, let's not read too much into our posts.