Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
Back when I first got curious about whether or not I had AS, I read that many aspies are narrow-minded, or possess limited understanding in areas such as s person's beliefs, habits, etc. and that one thing at least SOME aspies do is try to force their narrow, rigid strictures on others.
I do this.
I'm a pretty closed-minded individual. On good says when I try my hardest to be other-wise, you can almost sense a bad mood coming on in me.
I've commented before that my "inner order" is very important, and that means thinking how I want to think about things, and I generally exact others to do the same. If someone has a vastly different opinion than I, I'm less likely to think "live and let live" than I am "they're stupid, crazy, something's wrong with them, etc".
I've been reading lately how some people think aspies are actually MORE open-mined or free of prejudice than others. At first I didn't understand how this could be, seeing as how the rigidity, rituals, and routines, combined with an inability to understand people, and the added symptom of forcing things on others--even without being aware of it--would foster anything except closed-mindedness and prejudice, as it seems to have in me.
But then I talked with my therapist about it, and he's of a similar opinon as I, but he thinks that many AS patients may have developed a kind of "anything goes" attitude, ironically, form the same roots as the closed minded ones, like myself, do.
That, from being bullied, belittled, and or not understood by NT's, and being unable to determine what really is "normal", they tend to accpet everyone as normal.
Whatever the case, I am certainly not one of these aspies.
I feel like I have to terraform. Terraforming is usually used in science fiction, when people, or aliens, attempt to make a planet or some other area habitable by creating oxygen, food, and other necessities for it through artificial means.
It's like I have to enforce my will, attempt to remold reality to suit my rigid needs. When people are VERY different from me, it's not that interpret it as an attack, it's just a sense of "wrongness" that I get, that it "should not be", and I try to conquer, change, or just bug them because they made me not like them--which is ironic, considering how much I really DON'T like to hurt people.
I'm just wondering if anyone else does this?
I do this.
I'm a pretty closed-minded individual. On good says when I try my hardest to be other-wise, you can almost sense a bad mood coming on in me.
I've commented before that my "inner order" is very important, and that means thinking how I want to think about things, and I generally exact others to do the same. If someone has a vastly different opinion than I, I'm less likely to think "live and let live" than I am "they're stupid, crazy, something's wrong with them, etc".
I've been reading lately how some people think aspies are actually MORE open-mined or free of prejudice than others. At first I didn't understand how this could be, seeing as how the rigidity, rituals, and routines, combined with an inability to understand people, and the added symptom of forcing things on others--even without being aware of it--would foster anything except closed-mindedness and prejudice, as it seems to have in me.
But then I talked with my therapist about it, and he's of a similar opinon as I, but he thinks that many AS patients may have developed a kind of "anything goes" attitude, ironically, form the same roots as the closed minded ones, like myself, do.
That, from being bullied, belittled, and or not understood by NT's, and being unable to determine what really is "normal", they tend to accpet everyone as normal.
Whatever the case, I am certainly not one of these aspies.
I feel like I have to terraform. Terraforming is usually used in science fiction, when people, or aliens, attempt to make a planet or some other area habitable by creating oxygen, food, and other necessities for it through artificial means.
It's like I have to enforce my will, attempt to remold reality to suit my rigid needs. When people are VERY different from me, it's not that interpret it as an attack, it's just a sense of "wrongness" that I get, that it "should not be", and I try to conquer, change, or just bug them because they made me not like them--which is ironic, considering how much I really DON'T like to hurt people.
I'm just wondering if anyone else does this?
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
As with many disorders and is often a case when people are having relationship difficulties everything gets laid at the disorder's door. In this way a set of myths have built up.
- some are as touchy feely as anyone else
- some are as spiritual and devout as anyone else
- aspie sexuality is no different from NT sexuality - that has been properly researched and established.
I'm sure that you have examples to the contary but if you are on a support group it figures that something is not ok. Look on other boards like healthy relationships and you will see it is so.
There are of course problems around communication and that has an impact on relationships but it is usually NT women having issues with aspie men - again you will find the same patterns on boards that deal with NT partners.
As said, we are on this board and despite the popular internet myths we do have feelings.
I am in therapy and my therapist believes I have some BPD tendencies. She has diagnosed me with a reactive nervous system at the very least - meaning I feel things more strongly than people without it and need advanced coping skills (which failing to acquire sometimes manifests as BPD behaviors).
He's not diagnosed, but he has done certain things all his life. He can't wear certain clothes (colors/textures), finds it impossible to visualize things/rarely dreams and when he does he said it was not like a movie in his head), will grip his own hands/fingers when under distress, etc.
SInce writing that - he's broken up with me. As I said, he's extremely closed-minded and we had another blowout fight after which he decided to end things (which included ending us living together). It's only been a few days and I am heartbroken and in the process of writing him a letter - we barely had a conversation, he would not give me an explanation about what the final straw was, or why he thought we were not salvageable, or worth saving.