Oh, yes, the meltdowns. We all handle it differently. I scream and tantrum. My husband puts his hand through the walls. My daughter breaks things.

Now, before you say, "Geez, that sounds like a fun house" let's say it improves (all of it does) when you have a replacement behavior.

For instance we scream (my daughters and I) really loudly and primal screaming. It is way better than breaking things. Now, when my daughter sees someone start to act up she will ask them , "Does ___(insert name) want to scream?" Then if they want to, she will scream with them. She has way better coping skills at 4 years then I did at that age.

My husband is getting better at his replacement behavior which is walking away. Or the "cave behavior" I call it. He will isolate himself until he feels better. Usually he will either go to bed with covers pulled up over his head (that's why I call it the "cave") or he will lock himself in the bedroom and get on the computer awhile. Usually, if it's really bad he does the cave thing under the covers. Hey, better than breaking things. But we still get holes patched in our walls now and then.

You had a great idea also about touching the thing you want to break and then walking away laughing. That is a great replacement behavior.

i cant post what i want to say on here :(

lol maybe private message eh :P'

lol... who knows who might read this stuff eh :)

good luck or whatever...

i guess meds can help :

Lst night my 10 year old son became very upset as the computer wasn't working how it should.So, he decided to get his pencil and scrape all the screen in a temper. Now when I found out I was annoyed. I didn't shout but I told him to get the forty pound he'd saved and give it to me. He did but then proceeded to bite himself viciously on his arm. I had to hold him for about five, ten minutes to calm him down. He said I hadn't punished him enough. I'm really upset just writing this and I explained to him that I didn't want to see him hurting himself. We had a chat for about an hour last night but this morning he still wanted to talk about it. I told him it was in the past and all I wanted was for him to never hurt his body like that again. I don't think I dealt with it very well. He's very good at school. Well behaved and a hard worker but when he loses it, he loses it. How do others cope with these sort of melt-downs.

Aww, sweetie, a ten year old. Medication is the only thing that keeps me from hurting myself as an adult. Hopefully somebody will post something that will help both you, your son, and me, as I would like to be able to control my rages without medication. Keep those lines of communication open with your son. If he wants to talk about something, its so important to listen to him, even if it is something that is difficult for you. If you shut it down, the chances of him coming to you with something else, possibly bigger, slowly diminish. I have a ten year old little girl, and I find it odd, how they seem to believe that we love them conditionally.

SigS what worries me most is that as he gets older it will probably get worse. I try to be optimistic though I know I won't always be able to hold him as he gets bigger and stronger. It breaks my heart when he hurts himself as all our children are precious.

OK OK it is stressful for me as I have gone independent as a computer consultant and I realized that the anger was stupid but nothing I broke was irreplacable. Stupid of course.

So, catching up here, I am stressed but mot overly so.

I've had my share of anger fits. Most of the time they're about my little cousin. But I have AS and I know it's hard to deal with.

Sometimes meds do help. My son is currently taking the lowest dosage of Prozac along with Abilifty at night to help him mrest and it's made a difference. I've noticed that more and more he can tell when the meltdowns are starting to occur and he's able to step back before something happens. Then there are times when he reacts first and then says, "Oh yeah, I shouldn't have done that." The meds have helped, yes, but he's had to help them along too. Meds by themselves aren't a quick fix. At least they weren't for my son.

I have to sons with HFA and from what I have learned with them is,it's not always a melt down or anger....how do we feel when someone scratches a chalkboard with their fingernails? or any other noise that makes us feel "icky" I think that is how people with autism feel when something in their world isn't "right" or the way they think it is supose to be. I know my 11 yr old had horrible "meltdowns" and when he finally started taking zoloft,he has all but stopped those "tantrums" social stories were a huge help to him too.since people with autism think in the literal sense,and don't always get the "in between the lines stuff" the social stories puts it in a literal kind of way,whatever it is that the person needs help with there can be a social story to help with it.it is better for younger kids but I'm sure it would help all people with Autism at any age