You may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
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It is my THEORY, that being an HSP is amplified by Aspergers', by a lot, because you are not only bombarded with stimula, but you can't process it like most people do.
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Neurotypical people have two processing units: the conscious/rational thinking one, and the one which is specifically aimed at fast, spontaneous, imperfect processing of what's happening right HERE and NOW. So they can "think", and they can also just blend into the crowd without thinking, and still react appropriately in most cases. Quick replies to jokes, spontaneous movement like dancing, knowing when to switch from one group to another, when it's the right time to speak and in what tone, etc.
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People with Aspergers tend to be disconnected from the spontaneous processing unit which allows all of this to be done in realtime. So they load all these tasks on their main, conscious/rational mind. It is an all-purpose processor, which cannot handle realtime - bam-bam-bam - processing. It always lags behind, and the more things are happening - streams of speech, people shuffling by - the more overloaded it gets.
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This is why Aspergers people tend to "survive" crowded, loud places, and the the next day just kind of sit staring at a wall - it's because their conscious mind is slowly processing all the giant backlog of information they accumulated, and weren't able to process as it was happening.
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You should know that what you feel is real. Other people can't relate. They're not inherently stronger or better - they just never had to experience what you experience.

"People with Aspergers tend to be disconnected from the spontaneous processing unit which allows all of this to be done in realtime". So that would mean they can't drive cars, can't play video games which require quick reactions to unexpected events?

HSP is a largely made up thing - trust me, I looked into this when it first came out of the new agers back in the 90s.

Unfortunately, as someone on the autism spectrum in a largely non autistic world (there are pockets, especially deep in the world of quirky male interests where the ASD count tends to be higher), you either have to adapt or withdraw. You either have to learn how to interact or forever be that guy who can't hold his tongue. And probably be on your own.

While you say that other people don't understand - empathy works two ways - how do you think the people you offend feel?

You can't change the world to your way of thing - so what are you going to do?

When I say people don't understand, it has nothing to do with empathy. I understand their perspective, but it's irrelevant because it's not a competition by comparison.

It's like someone comparing the urge to crack their knuckles to someone having a tic from a neurological disorder. It's not as simple as "pet peeves". Allegorically, it's a concussion versus a TBI. One, while distressful, is temporary. The other is life altering. Constant. Inescapable.

I try to shove the feeling down and ignore it, but after hearing a certain noise (CONSTANT music or the sound of feet rubbing on the carpet) or seeing someone twitching their foot and drumming their fingers nonstop in my periphery, it's like being prodded nonstop. I get to the point where I can only scream, like the whistle of a kettle when it reaches the boiling point and needs to release steam.

My stress has gone up, which seems to have made it worse. Lately the constant sound and movement makes me not want to be around anyone. I can't.

" it's not a competition by comparison. " Yes, that's good.

"It's like someone comparing the urge to crack their knuckles to someone having a tic from a neurological disorder"

well, isn't that competition by comparison?

I don't know how old you are or what your life experience is. My experience is that most people have something inescapable. Even in the western world there is poverty, disease, child abuse, rape, bereavement. Just most people don't share it generally. Maybe take a look around DS?

It's what you then do with that.

If you are looking for someone to say they get what you are saying, then yes, I get it. Not sure though that will make you happier.

The world isn't going to change for you. Just as it doesn't change for anyone.

Hmmm. I thought you would deduce that from what I said, and understandably so. It was poorly worded. What I meant was that it's not a competition. MS isn't the same as cramped muscles from running. Having a learning disorder isn't the same as deciding to text during B class versus a chemical problem. While one can cope the best they can, they still have a different way of thinking to cope with.

Aside from that; rape, poverty, etc. - To say that's going off on a tangent is a massive understatement. This isn't a soap box and I'm not hoping to join you on it. I'm venting, looking for guidance, not complaining.

I'm not naive. I've had experiences (that I HOPE) the majority of people haven't had, but that's also besides the point.

I'm not looking to be scrutinized nor get into a debate. I'm looking for understanding. I want to learn to about other's experiences so I don't feel like such a freak. This is a SUPPORT group, not a critique. And quite frankly, you're making me regret joining it. You talk about empathy? You must also have a penchant for paradoxes.

I was being blunt - as you said you frequently are. I thought you would appreciate that.



One of the downsides of support groups is that there is a tendency sometimes to the "me too, isn't it awful" responses which while at most they give a little comfort, they leave you where you originally were and at worse create a feeling that it's not worth trying to overcome the problem.



As I've said I understand what you are saying. I went through it myself. Yes, it's difficult but over the years I learnt it was better to put my energy into a adaptation and accommodation.



Exactly how you would adapt is up to you. Too noisy? Maybe try ear plugs. You might see a psychiatrist / doctor and try something like propranolol to just dial back sensitivity back a bit (it's a beta blocker rather than a tranquilizer) . Get a therapist/ clinical psychologist who understands autism spectrum disorder to discuss techniques for dealing with other forms of overwhelm. There are also a number of books available written specifically for people on the spectrum.




Hope that helps.

Are you really insensitive though? Or have you been told that you are all your life? I felt worthless for the first 22 years of my life because I felt different and horrible like you. Everyone said I should be more emotional or that I was stubborn or rude. This really hurt me and I started to almost play the role of the villain because I believed what others were telling me. But you really are an awesome person, everyone has their own way of dealing with things and this is yours, if people can't accept that then just know in yourself that you are good and kind and everything else will follow. Feel free to message me if you like, I'm actually working on a project at the moment to convert numbers and structural patterns into humanized forms to help people like us understand the 'norm' world a bit better. If you feel like there's more comfort for you in numbers or patterns than in people and socializing I'd love to see if this helps you feel a bit more confident about reading people and knowing how to respond :) much love.

Oh and ps, a year ago I truly believed I was a wicked evil sociopath capable of all sorts of horrible things, but now I've come to terms with my real deep issues, I know that I'm a beautiful person that just thinks differently and that's fine :)

It's ok, I've felt this way too and I still do. I'm also feeling suicidal. I thought that the social system was a hierarchy. I felt like I was worthless and I was basically a peasant in that hierarchy. I write poetry now to try to feel better, it helps. Hope you can feel better too!