How severe is your selective mutism? If you are not responding to people, then they may think you are 'slow-witted' and thus speak down to you, thinking you are intellectually impaired. My sons are both adults and on the spectrum, and both have difficulties in some social situations. They are both bright, and like you, have a lot ot say, but because they cannot always comfortably express themselves, they are sometimes mistaken for being intellectually challenged. The more comfortable they are with either the people involved or the situation, the more verbal and expressive they are, and the less likely for people to misjudge them and be condescending.

Are you working with a therapist to minimize the occurrences of your mutism? Are you taking any anti-anxiety meds to help you? My son with Asperger's did some role-playing with his therapist to learn how to cope with some situations. We are seeing our GP next week to discuss anxiety medication. Maybe that would help you, too. You will probably be your best advocate, but you may need additional support to get to that point. Just a thought...

Hope this helps. Hugs...

There there dear, shhh, everything will be...well, what it is.

(wink).

Oh, and those Condescending NT's? It's transference. Hell, you make ME feel a little inferior with your prolific expression, wit, and candor, and then my response is tinted arrogant with a slight aromatic infusion of professorial lecture. Intellectual Compassion is our key to circumventing the empathy disfunction but it can feel to others as pity and judgement sometimes. Rhetoric yields varying and sundry response...and never, seemingly, the one we were aiming for.

Oh, by the way: I'm sooo stoked to randomly jump into this whine-fest again and see YOU!...although I forget that as awesome as you are, you live on this same strange bizarro plane as the rest of us. Feel better...now!

Luv ya

People don't seem condescending to me - but then I avoid most people. The ones who are still getting to know me feel I am aloof and they are a bit 'scared' of me. I only know this because someone who has become a true friend over the last 16 years had the guts to tell me after we had been friends for about 7 of those years!
We were able to have a lovely open conversation where she told me what her perception was and I told her about where I was coming from. I only discovered the asperger's last year, so now I have a name for it, which makes life a whole bunch easier.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such trouble. I hated it, even as a child, for people to be condescending. I talk to my granddaughter as if she were an adult -- with straightforward kindness and instruction where she needs it. It is much the same with 5th graders in a reading program I volunteer with. Other than that, I don't seem to have occasions for interacting with children.

Hallo,

I'm interested that you find people condescending towards you. How does this manifest itself? i ask because I'm not Aspie myself but my ex-boyfriend is and he has often mentioned that people are condescending towards him- me included...
I'm quite sure that at the times he mentioned I wasn't being patronising or condescending but straightforward and I certainly haven't identified others being patronising towards him.
This has caused both of us pain.. him being offended, me being hurt and puzzled so I wonder if it is a perceptual difference? Do you think that's possible?
PS It could be a comment as simple as "Hey, that's great! Thank you!". He will ask me if I'm being sarcastic....