Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
My 16 year old son hates doing chores and it seems like he wi do whatever it takes to get out of doing them. He also spends a lot of time playing video games which he says helps him relax, so we end up taking those priveledges away when he doesn't get his work done. The problem is when we take his games away he becomes more withdrawn and depressed until we give in and so we end up back where we started. He is a very sensitive child but how much of this video game usage is a real need of his and is he just manipulating us to get out of chores or does he become genuinely depressed when he can't play his games?
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
But I don't have an alternative solution or ideas, sorry.
The good news is they become much more human again in their 20's. You may not like him for awhile.
Hugs....
Try to find other things that your son would be interested in doing and surprise him with allowing or participating together in the good activity.
You may have to find a reward for yourself after doing an unwanted task as well.
Be honest with your son. Say "I don't like doing this, but I will do it anyway." Be a role model.
Leave him a way out without making him openly rebellious. Say, "I would like you to help me with this task. Will you do it?" If he declines as he will likely do at first, at least he can be more open to doing it in the future, just knowing it is his choice.
Young boys so often respond well to structure and goals. Strive for pride or some kind of internal reward. I am often embarrassed at how easily my behavior is observed by youth, and I am at a loss for a rational or fair reasons for my actions. - kids are sponges they'll soak up and remember everything. I've found it's best to be honest and straight forward. They'll easily find any subterfuge.
This approach may even decrease his desire for those games as more time is spent with you in conversation or doing other tasks -( if for example you adjusted chores to some less mundane task which helps the household/family - or builds confidence/self-esteem) I am not saying this is easy. Parenting does not look easy to me. It does look rewarding though. Especially when those kids open their hearts up and say things- or just hug you out of the blue.
That's an outsiders perspective. I hope it was worth your time to read it. If it was my nephew - I'd know when he was"play'n" me. & when ( as I think it unlikely) he was genuinely depressed, that his video game time is being inturpted for (less than 2 hours??) for chores.
Best of luck