My mom had problems with this with me and I had problems with my son. For me I can remember my mom scrubbing my bottom with a wash cloth upset with me for not using the toilet. She figured if she made going in a diaper unpleasant I'd switch. That really wasn't the issue and I know from my son it wouldn't of worked for him either. My son didn't fully potty train until he was 5. Our shared problem was sensations. All children are ready at different times to potty train. Some quite early(my daughter would crawl to the toilet by 18 months) and others much later. Part of this I think is sensations and body awareness. I had problems telling which I had to do, I had problems also with constipation and allergies. My son had problems with diahreah(birth defect messed up his digestive system) and telling if he had to go. Eventually with time we both realized. My son was lucky and never wet the bed. Most of his awareness came after surgery to fix his intestinal issue. For me my sensory stuff wasn't worked out for awhile and I wet the bed sometimes til 8 because I couldn't tell. I also was getting frequent bladder and kidney infections at the time. Eventually it all worked itself out. From talking to other adults and parents of kids with stuff I'd say it isn't uncommon.