Yes, I understand. I read your profile and I can relate with about 90$ of it. I to have struggled with overwhelming sadness. Mine has come on over many many years though.
I can tell from your profile you are educated on the subject. I think many times people like us do get into a line of thinking that is hard to break out of. I have always said it is like most of the people in this world learned something along the way that I missed. I feel broken and I dont know how to get fixed.
If you woulld like to discuss this more let me know. Over the years I have found some things that have helped. I think if I would have started them sooner I would be alot better off now.
Just let me know if your interested...

I am sooo sorry to read in what state of mind your in.. I have been there so I can recall how frightening and scary this is.. and I still have flashbacks when I am stressing.. but I also have learned to deal with it much better.. I have retrained myself in my way of thinking.. so please feel free to go back some pages in here and just research.. I might try to bring up some of the old topics so you can read and maybe apply.. hang in there .. there is a light at the end of the Tunnel.. and DS and God and my Family have really helpt me a lot.. Hugs and Love Simone

megerrbabiie, i totally understand you. I am now 36 with a husband and a daughter and i still suffer from exactly the same feelings you are suffering from, from way back when i was at school. I suffered terribly during my school years from constant chronic anxiety and depression and loneliness. My mum took me to many hospitals and specialists and nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. When i left school at 16 things didn't change, I found various jobs but could not hang on to any of them because of my constant anxiety. I am still in the same situation now, the only difference is i have a husband and a beautiful 6 year old girl however the pain and suffering is just as bad and i can't reach out to anyone as my husband doesn't understand it and even though my daughter is in school my days are torture as i can't go out to work so i am at home all day either online or just feeling totally awful with this constant ache in my stomach. I really do understand what you are going through and if you ever need a friend to talk to i will be here for you. just let me know.

yes even when things are going good I have this awful feeling inside,full of anxiety waiting for someone or something to snap and go horrably wrong.

Yes I have been going through constant anxiety for about 5 yrs now and it at a very bad point now.
I hope you are relieved and soon!

yes my mind is a constant worry after the next to the point of passing out so this is what makes me depressed because i hate getting the attacks at anytime and anywhere

I've been there. No matter what happenned I was always sad ,anxious or whatever. I learned my anxiety and former nervousness at that time were due to multiple traumas experienced growing up. I finally discoverred I was going around with a lot of shame I ought never have carried. I got rid of the shame and am less anxious knowing where that comes from. But I was there!

I have had anxiety (General Anxiety Disorder) for the past 34 years, most of the time it's been under control using meds like Lexapro and Xanax. This past October I had a panic attack after starting a new job and my anxiety has returned and hasn't gone away. The meds aren't working, this past week I started having panic attacks which I rarely had in the past. I went to the hospital last Tuesday after a severe panic attack and wanted to be admitted until they got my panic attacks under control. To my surprise I found out that you cannot be admitted if you have anxiety issues unless you tell them that you're thinking of hurting yourself or someone else. That blew me away, I would think when someone is suffering from constant panic attacks that only adds to their anxiety. An extended stay in the hospital (1 or 2 weeks) would really help getting the panic attacks under control. Maybe I'm just dreaming.