Last night I truly scared myself with my anxiety and raging obsessive thoughts. I woke from sleep at 3 am which seems to be the witching hour for me. I had to get up at 6 am for work and laid awake in anxiety until after 5. For the first time ever I was actually thinking that death felt like a better alternative than the hell I am feeling. I could envision myself driving my car in front of a big transfer truck on my way to work... it was so scary because at the same time I was thinking it I was scared that I would actually do it in a moment of weakness and hopelessness. I know my life is not hopeless and I am making moves to improve my life but this kind of obsessive thinking really scares me and I'm not sure what to do about it. I rarely sleep through the night and seeing 3 am is becoming like a curse; it happens way too often and is the most likely time that I will become anxious and obsessive. Can anyone give me some tips on how to deal with this. I'm fine during the day, sometimes sad and down but not obsessive like this. Short of drugging myself so I'll sleep all night I don't know what to do.
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