Wow, that sounds incredibly familiar. I had a boyfriend who put pressure on me to find a job with more hours, and when I did he quit his. He then spent 3 months playing video games claiming that he was trying. After a talk with our roommate I gave him 3 days to figure something out, which sounded nearly impossible, and yet he had a job the next day. He also whined about there not being any positions in his field (cooking) but wound up taking a dishwashing job. Taking the dishwashing job not only took away financial stress, but made his mood better over all, and allowed us to move out of a motel and into a basement apartment. You boyfriend to accept that that dream jobs, or ones on that path, aren't always available, and we still need to do what we can in the meantime, for our loved ones and ourselves. Sitting back and waiting for what he wants while you work you butt off is not okay, h's not a princess, and he needs to pull his own weight. If you're diagnosed with anxiety and he knows this it sounds like he's manipulating you into taking care of him. It sucks but honestly.... even if he is given an ultimatum and gets a job, he will likely scheme his way out of it, or convince you to invest everything you have into his goals. If a guy can't see what he's doing to you than he either doesn't love you or doesn't know how to love. Do what you need to do for you, and maybe in 6 months he'll have opened his eyes and pulled his s**t together, maybe he never will... but never be afraid to do what you to do for you.

I recommend taking the long view. How many years are you planning on being together? 40? 50?

A couple of months is hardly a drop in the ocean. Barely noticeable.

how you handle this few months, however, will determine a number of things. One of which is how long the relationship will last.

It is extremely hard to get the job you want when you are doing shift work at MacDonalds. If you want him on minimum wage, you have to ask yourself if that's the long view. If you want him on his best possible wage in his chosen field, you have to ask if that's the long view.

And if you break his dream you have to ask how long the relationship will last.

When you two have kids who will stay home to raise them? Who will be working to support everyone? When, in short, will you two become a team who are all for one, and one for all, or will you never? Will you always remain solo, separate entities merely inhabiting the same space?

You would be surprised at what you can survive. Every summer I worked 14-16 hr days, 7 days a week, for at least 3 months during picking season, as I was the only EDI in the packhouse and could not be replaced for any shift. I could relieve my clerks and supervisors, but nobody could relieve me. I did it because I had to: but because I had to I discovered I could. I could do all this, work from 6am to 8pm, come home, cook dinner, do some laundry, and fall into bed to get up again at 5:30 the next morning.

You can do this. If you want to.

I would try to empathize with him, and reverse the roles. What if you lost your job suddenly, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find another, decent-paying job? This happens quite a lot in life, and you have to work with your partner. My husband finished a long-term contract job, and I had to work overtime to support us while he looked for another job. We were a little freaked out and he was about to take an overnight stocking job at a store that paid next to nothing. We waited, though, and after a few months he found a great job that paid more than his last one. Sure it was stressful, but now we are in a much better position financially. I would do your best to keep your chin up and encourage your partner in his job search. If he isn't genuinely seeking a job, you may want to have a serious discussion with him.

This is one of those situations where changing how you respond will change the situation. When his usual response no longer fits, then you will be able to figure out what your choices are to move this in a different direction. Everyone has this type of experience in a lot of career fields and each situation is individual in what steps the people take to change it. Best wishes.

I'm working as a security guard. I sometimes hate it, but it is helping pay the bills when my main field, photography, is slow, and when photography is busy, the security company I work for has a big enough pool of other guards they can call to cover the shifts that this enables me to cut back on hours when a photography assignment comes along. The money, even between these two activities, is still not sufficient though. I'm going to have to do something that pays a higher hourly wage than the $9.50/hr. security guarding pays. Photography pays a few hundred dollars per assignment and this is OK when there's at least one assignment per week. Sometimes 3-4 weeks go by with nothing. I'm looking into taking the state civil service exam and ace it to go to work for the U.S. Postal Service. They always need mail sorters and deliverers and their pay starts at $20/hr.

Hey, I have a similar situation with my husband. He has been unemployed for more than 3 months now, but he only applies for jobs in his field, and we are spending all of our savings. I used to get really upset but I learned that in my case it doesn't change anything. He is never going to get a fast food job and I will have to live with it in certain way. If I want to be with him I have to support him and encourage him. I know it is really hard on him, but it is unfair to me too. I hope we all get through this hard economical situations.