Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I work pretty hard at not questioning the healing mysteries. Questioner that I am, I often read ahead in a mystery novel to answer questions which pop up as I read. Alas, Life is not so neatly organized and my attempts to **read ahead** all to often lead me to missing the point, entirely. I am too busy looking for what I expect to see what is actually there.
I'm feeling the urge to share this morning's read from "Daily Meditations for People Who Worry." ?Por que no? If nothing else, typing it out might help me see whatever it is the healing mysteries are leading me to.
(Begin quote)
"Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win. ~Bernadette Devlin
Struggle is okay. Struggle is acceptable. Everyone admires someone who struggles. Indeed, strugglers are usually not a threat to anyone. Everyone likes a struggler. If our lives are going well, we can even feel a little superior to a struggler and offer them a helping hand now and again.
But winning . . . now that's another matter entirely. Winners are open season. Lots of people would like to pick off a winner just for the fun of it. You know how it is! It's sort of like eating the heart of a warrior. It gives one power to wipe out a winner . . . or, at least, we are afraid others believ it does.
We can worry a lot about winning. Winning takes a lot of courage. Personal wining takes even more courage because it is not based on win-lose. Daring to run the risk of winning as a person is scary business . . . and . . . well worth the risk.
I have the courage to struggle. Do I dare risk succeeding?" (end of quote)
Chew, chew. . . Anybody care to chew along?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Many ways I can think of that work for me.
Good one to share, Arfie!
One of the brave souls who attempted to encourage me through my early failed college attempts accused me of being far more afraid of success than failure.
My amnesia therapy had only just begun at that point and the brave soul triggered a flashback series to the childhood I had worked so desperately to forget. It was a long time in the sorting, but the memory (among the memories?) was of the school transition between 3rd and 5th grade. I started school as, "Retarded" because of my speech defect. The third grade teacher who received me mid semester didn't take long to declare, "Retarded, my eye! ! !"
By some miracle, I remained in her rural school for long enough that she tag-teamed me with my fourth and fifth grade teachers to move me from, "Retard" to "Gifted Math and Science." The gift was math and science, not politics, especially with the added burden of the speech defect. Being the first girl in the state's gifted program made me hot topic in the local political debates. It didn't take me long to decide that "Retards" had it much better than brainiacs. I was ever so relieved when my parents moved us out of that school early in to 5th grade.
My fear of success has only gotten more complicated since then.
At the very least, it pays to keep ^it^ simple.
I was put in gifted class and it worked for me. I have friends who have said their experience was not so pleasant.
May not be 'success' so much as it is the way you are shown to display the 'success'.
When I was finally able to see the psychologist for my evaluation and get a treatment plan set up, one of the first things he stated was how 'successful' I was in being in the work place.
I hate that particular way the boxes were used to place students into classes.
Here's to keeping it simple and enjoying the easy moments of 'success'.
As an adult, I think I fear the expectations, assumptions and responsibilities of success. Like a musician doomed to play the same song on command, without variation, every day for the rest of his/her life?
Dunno. . . Chew chew