You are doing my best suggestion with this very post, Ruth. I *just* keep sharing while I look for the small changes I can make toward improving the twists and kinks that are causing my stomach to keep on churning. Ouch! ! ! My tummy hurts something fierce when it churns like that! ! !

I haven't found any quick cures, but the load is easier when shared. Vent freely. Vent often. Continued support while you find your smile.

For what it's worth:
I've given up on knowing, "Why?" In my own psychobaggage car, finding my why's never seems to help much. The why's of all my psychoweirds always seem to be *Just* more rocks to make my stomach churn.

Sounds like you feel so isolated. I have read that stomach problems are caused by not being able to "digest" something in life. I agree. You could do some research on the vagus nerve. Singing and deep breathing stimulate the nerve to quiet the nervous system down. Keep reaching out anyway you can.

Tough situation. Seems like you need something just for yourself. It's very hard as a caretaker...b/c I think it gets to a point where you start feeling selfish for having your own needs...when your daughters is so urgent in ways.

Can you get your husband to watch her maybe for 2 hrs a week? Where you get to get away...leave the house...go shopping alone, take a class (yoga, meditation, art, photography, dance, go to gym, learn a new skill, cooking...etc).

Even if it's just these 2 hrs a week you get to do something YOU wanted to do or learn...it will do wonders for your spirit.

You will be a happier person, and a better caretaker for your daughter b/c of it.

There are many classes online that are offered for free...like learning a new language or skill.

There will be others in your situation in these classes and you might even strike up some new friendships!

Sending you light and love!

So wishing that you did not have to go through this but I know that you will make it work.

There are so many classes and so many groups here that can help you navigate.

What do you enjoy doing? Perhaps volunteer to help at a senior center (your daughter may help, too). They may have you wash dishes, roll silverwear, deliver meals to those in their homes (who also feel isolated), or just visit while eating a low-cost meal. You pay what you can. Sometimes there are games or exercises. It would be good for you..... And help you both be among others. Your daughter needs to learn to trust others and venture out.... Because tragedy may strike someday and she will need to know others care, too. You are doing a great job. Just reach out to others. I believe you will feel richly rewarded.... They will help you while you're helping them! I know it greatly helped my mother. Wishing you the best!