I understand. My dog was almost rehome several times due to behavior issues but I’m glad I kept him. We can love them and still be frustrated with them.

My anxiety often gets escalated when I’ve had dogs (I don’t have a dog currently). I wasn’t always like that with my dogs; it started several years ago after one of my dogs died very suddenly at a young age. It really affected me. Ever since that experience, I tend to be more hyper vigilant with my animals. It’s sort of a reflex or habit now.

What helped me was just accepting that this is just how I am with them rather than letting my quirky obsession with their well being completely destroy me. I guess I’d call it just making peace with my worry over the dogs rather than getting upset about it. I actually kind of make a joke about it because it is so absurd. Finding humor in the absurdity is how I cope with my anxiety regardless of the reason, trigger, etc.

I’ve kenneled my dogs as well at really swanky kennels when on vacation and made a point of NOT checking in them during my time away because I knew I’d be a mess if they said my dogs weren’t doing well. I reminded myself the kennel would notify me if there was a serious issue. That’s an example of turning up the volume on rational thoughts in order to hear them over the disproportionate, anxiety fueled thoughts.

Very similar story rmb. And of course, I am sorry what you went through with your dog.
We had a dog die suddenly within days of finding out he had lungs filled with cancer. My kids were younger and took it very hard as did myself and husband.
Before that, I was actually reasonable with the dogs. My first dog had lumps and bumps and had to be aspirated many times. And I don’t remember freaking out at all. I took him to the vet and did everything right and waited for results.
Well I certainly have changed since those days. I was just very worried to give this dog his dinner even though he’s been fine since last night.
Ironically enough, my other dog goes to vet tomorrow just for a vaccine and they do an in house bloodwork because he’s on meds for arthritis.
So the dog care doesn’t end.
And the interesting part about the kennel is that they probably are cared for easily as they have meds on hand , a vet on staff, my vet happens to literally be around the corner. So I ruined that trip for myself over these dogs who were getting a lot of attention and appropriate care.
I obviously have work to do on myself.

Yeah I think the fretting we put ourselves through with our dogs is our anxious thoughts trying to convince us that if we are hyper vigilant with our pets we can control anything bad happening to them and prevent harm. But it really just leaves us depleted and upset and not much else.

That’s a true statement for sure.
Besides trying to protect them, I feel like , between the two of them, I maybe will have a couple weeks with calmness and then something happens. Doesn’t mean it’s life threatening , but it will wake me up, I’ll have yet another trip to the vet, I have to take special care of him. So I just feel overwhelmed sometimes. Especially if I am already going through a rough time with my anxiety, it seems like they add on with an episode of something.

Cannot make it up.
Took other dog to vet
Vet notices a scab on his nexk. I’ve felt it seemed like it was a hot spot healing
Anyway she decides to aspirate it.
So now here I am again.
Different dog. More worry waiting for results.
I want it to stop!