Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I need help... to start, I've been diagnosed with PTSD, Chronic Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar & lastly in process of determining whether I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm service connected & lately been seeing my social worker once a week. I'll also be seeing my psychiatrist once a month. I'm on so many meds that I don't know what works or what doesn't.
In the past year I've checked myself in for 72hr evaluation. Recently, I put my gun to my head... (I threw an unnecessary temper tantrum) My mood swings are destroying my relationship with my girlfriend. I say I'm gonna do something then don't do it. I have no want to do anything at all throughout my day. She wants me to get out & meet people. We went to the American Legion for st. Patrick's day & yes I... we had a great time. We discussed me joining the Legion to make friends & do something meaningful with my time. It's been almost a month now & I kept thinking about the Legion coming up with reasons why not to join. My biggest reasons are that I don't want to bury anymore of our brothers & sisters. I've seen too much death & it kills me to think about burying anyone else. Second, I really do not want to do any parades. The crowds make me super uneasy. The only reason I could think of as positive is cheaper beer. That's not a good enough reason... infact, that's the wrong reason to join the legion. This is a cycle, once or twice a month I become mean & intolerable to others. There's much more that I've done hurting those around emotionally. I don't know what else to do short of joining the legion as my girlfriend wants me to do. I don't want to do it just because she wants me to. I want to want it. Am I afraid to? Yes & i don't know why.
Please... I don't want to lose her. I need help.
Edit: she's pregnant with our baby. She told me she's not keeping it as I can't be trusted. I can't blame her a bit. I want so badly to have this baby with her.
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
-
First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Fellow vet (Viet Nam Era) with a similar smorgasbord of psych dx'es here. I carried most of my psych issues into the Army with me, but I started my psychotherapy in Army clinics and continued through the VA for most of the years since my discharge in 1976.
A drive to isolate is a common symptom for all the dx'es you listed. Despite the years of therapy, I still feel the drive to isolate like the beaten crazy bitch wolf I am, but have learned to treat it like a psych symptom more than a solution or an acceptable character trait. I still like my own alone time, but I have come to recognize the important diffs between being alone and isolating. One of those important diffs is coming with disparaging lists like the one you gave here for your local legion. I don't need to give it a try. Here's my prejudged list of why. My drive to isolate has a disparaging list for every human gathering accessible to me. The ones on other continents sound dandy, though. Gotta keep it unreal.
Dunno if that applies to your case, or not, but. . .
I mostly wanted to welcome you aboard. Hope you find healing companionship here.
Wow. you have got a lot going on. Your first priority is to GET RID OF THE GUN AND AMMO. A temper tantrum one day, a loss of control the next. How can your girl friend feel safe in that kind of situation? Not only that but she wants a safe environment for your baby.
I sense that your daily life and mental health life are somewhat chaotic. Perhaps you and your GF can work together to set up a daily schedule that you can commit to. For each hour, have a task. 7:00 am get up. 8:00am breakfast, 9:00 exercise, etc. You get the picture. Stick to it. Ask her to help you stick to it. And when she reminds you, do not go off on her. You asked her for her help. Build into the schedule household tasks, computer research about your mental health issues. Keep a journal. I know, yadayada. Every Social Worker I have seen tells me that. Think of several things you want to keep track of - What time did you get up? How did you feel? as for instance. Then you can see if there are any trends. Then expand the questions etc. Put the journal into your daily schedule. The goal is to put some structure into your daily life. This could help your anxiety, order your thinking, give encouragement to your girlfriend.
Another priority is to get your mental health issues in order. Find out about every diagnosis you have been given and find information about all the drugs you take. Find out if all the drugs can be taken together. It maybe that if you are taking one drug that may interfere with another. Once you have done that, make a list of questions for your next psychiatrist appointment. What is your primary diagnosis? How do the other diagnoses fit in? What is each drug supposed to do? It could be that some of your feelings and behavior is coming from the drugs or a specific combination of the drugs.
Since you are very concerned about keeping your girl friend and she is expecting your baby, it could be helpful for both of you to see the social worker. Having a baby in the stablest household is very stressful. So seeing a Social Worker who can help you anticipate what will be happening and how it will affect you will be important.
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder 25 years ago after my first suicide attempt. It became clear to me that if I was to not get lost in the mental health system, I would have to take control of my treatment. I have had to "train" every clinician to work with me as a consultant. I would take their recommendations under advisement, research them, and decide whether to accept them or not. No one is going to advocate for you. You have to be your own best advocate. If you do not get the treatment you feel you need, find someone who can give it to you. You have the world at your fingertips with a computer.
Once you get your life in order, you can make an informed decision about being more active in the Legion or whatever else you might do.
Good luck.
MissKiittyinparadise
I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now. Thank you so much for your service! Unfortunately, I also have PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression due to the pain experienced after a fall. I’ve even tried suicide without success. Two years ago, I was on more medications than I could list and doing horrible. Then my life started to change. I began reading the Bible, praying, and watching a church service on-line (before I could physically go). Now, I am still bed / wheelchair bound, but my whole outlook on life (and death) have completely changed. The medications that I am on has been significantly reduced, too.
Have you considered visiting / joining a church? Please know that I will be praying for you and your unborn child.
May God bless you